# Is there a word for feeling embarrassed for someone else? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 14, 2024, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851 "2024-03-14T23:52:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/1 "2024-03-14T23:52:13Z")
It could be watching a shitty band that are under the delusion they are great. Or having someone at your table torturing everyone with boring stories and stale jokes and being oblivious that everyone’s eyeballs are mentally rolling into the back of their head. What made me think of this was that I listened to an interview of Richard Dawkins meeting with this fundamentalist christian woman. They were discussing evolution and I had a hard time listening to the whole thing. Her answers and rebuttals were so ignorant and yet she was so sure of herself that I was embarrassed for her to the point of physical discomfort. Is there a word for that feeling? ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2024, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/2 "2024-03-14T23:55:11Z")
The young ’uns call it **“cringe”** (or did, three years ago): > **[Why Gen Z Uses “Cringe” Differently From Millennials](https://www.bustle.com/life/cringe-meaning-gen-z)** > > What does "cringe" mean? Gen Z uses cringe like an adjective, where millennials use it as intended: a verb. Ultimately, it's cringe to ask. > To cusper Sydne, 27, a freelance designer, cringe means anything that’s humiliating. “Cringe is the feeling of second-hand embarrassment for something that someone else is posting or doing or saying,” she says. “It’s almost like a gagging feeling mixed with pity — ‘yikes…’ is a good way to describe it,” she says. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/3 "2024-03-15T00:05:23Z")
Vicarious embarrassment, secondhand embarrassment, empathetic embarrassment, third-party embarrassment, Spanish shame, or Fremdscham. [Link.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicarious_embarrassment#References) mmm ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/4 "2024-03-15T00:12:16Z")
On Reddit (and SDMB) the phrase “face palm” is common. It can work as a hyphenated word — face-palm. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/5 "2024-03-15T00:13:36Z")
It used to be a fairly common idiom, and I think isn’t yet totally obsolete, to say that you “blushed for” somebody else embarrassing themselves. [Tolstoy in Anna Karenina:](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/530530/anna-karenina-by-leo-tolstoy/9780141199610/excerpt) > [@](#): > > ‘How’s mama?’ he asked […] > ‘Mama? Mama’s up,’ the girl replied. […] > `And is she cheerful?’ > The girl knew that there had been a quarrel between her father and mother, and that her mother could not be cheerful, and that her father ought to know it, and that he was shamming when he asked about it so lightly. And she blushed for him. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/6 "2024-03-15T00:59:50Z")
I tend to go with watching and saying a loud “Well, that’s just a shame” ala’ Jerry Seinfeld _Unfortunate_ works too. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/7 "2024-03-15T02:06:58Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > he young ’uns call it **“cringe”** (or did, three years ago): The particular phrasing used by young 'uns (just saying something is “cringe”) is new but the usage is not. The term [“Cringe comedy”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cringe_comedy) is as old as I can remember, and is comedy that relies on exactly this feeling. I can’t stand cringe comedy - which is why I don’t generally like Fawlty Towers, or the English version of The Office. But many like it. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/8 "2024-03-15T03:26:13Z")
Secondhand embarrassment for me. Cringe is a little harder to pin down but I think a cluelessness element is baked in. Like a lot of cringy humor in The Office or Arrested Development are characters being confidently wrong or inappropriate. “I’m afraid I just blew myself.” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/9GYtgFdXCGE/maxresdefault.jpg ""I Just Blue Myself" - Arrested Development") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GYtgFdXCGE&t=104) Facepalm is simply “I can’t believe this shit” exasperation. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/9 "2024-03-15T03:29:22Z")
Yeah, “secondhand embarrassment” was the term I’d heard for this. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/10 "2024-03-15T03:38:23Z")
“Secondhand embarrassment” is not “a word.” “Cringe” pretty well means what you are looking for. When I feel embarrassment for someone else, like on The Office or another show, I literally cringe: 😬 It’s the perfect description. ---
**Author:** ![Kedikat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kedikat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kedikat)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/11 "2024-03-15T04:22:43Z")
If it is in public, I sub vocalize a long drawn out version of the word eye. ---
**Author:** ![Cugel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cugel/32/1199_2.png) [@Cugel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cugel)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/12 "2024-03-15T10:25:11Z")
I can take some of it, but some, e.g. Borat, are too much for me. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/13 "2024-03-15T11:03:54Z")
I have to re-watch this show. Anyway, I agree that “cringe” is the word. “Ugh, that speech was so cringe.” ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/14 "2024-03-15T11:09:08Z")
“Empathize” could be used if couched in the appropriate context. Person A: “Good Lord, I’m so embarrassed!” Person B: “Trust me, I empathize.” ---
**Author:** ![Schnitte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/schnitte/32/9033_2.png) [@Schnitte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schnitte)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/15 "2024-03-15T11:25:13Z")
German has a dedicated verb for exactly that: _Fremdschämen_. It’s a compound that literally means being ashamed for someone else and is quite a popular word nowadays in the social media subculture. ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/16 "2024-03-15T11:30:56Z")
Not a single word, but I’ve said “I’m embarrassed for you” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/17 "2024-03-15T12:17:01Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > The young ’uns call it **“cringe”** I’m not young, but that’s what I call it. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/18 "2024-03-15T12:25:01Z")
> [@Schnitte](#): > > German has a dedicated verb for exactly that: But of course it does! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/19 "2024-03-15T12:29:02Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > The term [“Cringe comedy”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cringe_comedy) is as old as I can remember, and is comedy that relies on exactly this feeling. I don’t remember that term before some time into the 2000s. I’m curious now about how far back we could trace it etymologically. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2024, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851/20 "2024-03-15T12:29:41Z")
> [@Sigene](#): > > Not a single word, but I’ve said “I’m embarrassed for you” Simply this. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-a-word-for-feeling-embarrassed-for-someone-else/998851.md?page=2)