# Is there any chance that these guys aren't gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 5, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585 "2011-03-05T16:01:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/41 "2011-03-08T16:19:47Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Sure, the guy is probably gay, he was watching _Vampire Diaries_ with another guy for Christ sake, and he went gone beyond normal friendship behavior. The question is whether he acted unprofessionally. Young men need to be taught proper social limits, even gay young men, and I would say he just needs some instruction here. I dunno…if he was a civilian…say a college student…caught in a similar situation, the official response would likely be a yawn. Likewise, if he’d had a girl in his bed instead of a guy, the military likely wouldn’t be about to throw him out. His problem here seems to boil down to being gay and in the military. And that policy is probably going to change before the end of the year…but this kid jumped the gun by a few months. I think it’s a shame he’s likely ruined his career and possibly become the last victim of the old rule. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/42 "2011-03-08T17:13:22Z")
It was gay at _The Vampire Diaries_. I’ve shared a hotel room bed with another guy a few times, and all of us were then and now (I suspect, in their case) straight. Once was on a high school ski trip; three guys to a room with two double beds. There was a lot of macho posturing about it, but at the end of the day we were exhausted and had another day of skiing ahead of us, so we climbed into bed, facing away from each other, and clung tightly to our own edge. Another time was going to an out of state wedding. Three of us carpooled out, got a hotel room, and drew straws as to who got the single bed. We were there two nights, so two of us got a bed to ourselves one night each, and had a bedmate one night each. One poor sap had a bedmate both nights, but he drew the short straw. To make up for it, we let him be the pivot man in the circle jerk\*. \*OK, not really. I was the pivot man. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/43 "2011-03-08T17:21:12Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > \*OK, not really. I was the pivot man. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/44 "2011-03-08T17:56:38Z")
Won’t being in bed with another serviceman be sufficient grounds for a disciplinary hearing in any case, outside of orientation. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/45 "2011-03-08T18:44:27Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Won’t being in bed with another serviceman be sufficient grounds for a disciplinary hearing in any case, outside of orientation. Not unless things have changed drastically since I was in. Consensual hetero sex between service members was ok, so long as neither person was married to a third party, and both participants were not in the same unit. There were “visiting hours” in the barracks where opposite sex people were allowed in the rooms–which are sort of like dorm rooms in college. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/46 "2011-03-08T19:42:36Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Won’t being in bed with another serviceman be sufficient grounds for a disciplinary hearing in any case, outside of orientation. Not automatically. I don’t think it’s actually written “thou shalt not share one bed” in the regs. There are too many plausible reasons why soldiers just might rack out together. When we were traveling around Europe on official orders we’d often be authorized two to a room and most people know or quickly find out two to a room in Europe often means one bed, deal with it. You joke about it, laugh, and go to sleep. Local commanders can, and probably will have to spell some of this out as everyone adapts to the changes. I like following developments like this. Our young brash hero in this story though IMHO is trying to be a smart-ass activist and somehow set a precedent that guys can snuggle with a blanket between them making all their roommates uncomfortable, gay or straight. I’m sure he’s not the first one who’s tried it, or the last one who will, gay, straight, male or female. I think that’s why they’re going for “unprofessional,” vs. “crashed in the same bunk.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/47 "2011-03-08T21:26:13Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > They would still never be in their underwear. It doesn’t matter if they were fully dressed. It doesn’t matter if they were in the same bed or not. They could have been in separate ROOMS. They were watching “The Vampire Diaries.” They’re gay. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2011, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/48 "2011-03-08T23:53:34Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > It doesn’t matter if they were fully dressed. > > It doesn’t matter if they were in the same bed or not. They could have been in separate ROOMS. > > They were watching “The Vampire Diaries.” They’re gay. I think this wins the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/49 "2011-03-09T01:38:25Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > I’m straight, and I failed it. I passed, but I disagree with their answers to 2, 3, and 6. If you actually follow their rules, you’re clearly closeted and homophobic. If you seriously care whether other men are gay or spend any time worrying whether they think you’re gay, you should really just accept who you are: gay. There are plenty of straight men who are uncomfortable with homosexuality, but I’m convinced there are practically no really, strongly homophobic straight men. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/50 "2011-03-09T02:37:17Z")
The test is a joke _about_ petty male homophobia. ETA maybe homophobia’s not the right word. It’s about the fear of other people thinking _you’re_ gay. Is there a word for that? ---
**Author:** ![ColdPhoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@ColdPhoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColdPhoenix)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/51 "2011-03-09T08:56:27Z")
I’m straight and have shared double beds with straight guys in the past if it’s a choice between that or the floor. I wouldn’t get into my boxers and get into bed with another guy to watch tv if I had my own cabin to go back and sleep in… > [@alphaboi867](#): > > Neither myself or any of the other 3 boys had any problems sharing beds. :smack: Of course at least 3 of us turned out to be gay. No, it didn’t quite turn into an orgy. 😉 There were 4 boys in the room, 3 of which were gay and it didn’t \*quite \* turn into and orgy. I can just imagine the 4th boy, head under duvet, rocking with his fingers in his ears chanting “this isn’t happening” over and over. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/52 "2011-03-09T18:15:31Z")
> [@ColdPhoenix](#): > > …There were 4 boys in the room, 3 of which were gay and it didn’t \*quite \* turn into and orgy. > > I can just imagine the 4th boy, head under duvet, rocking with his fingers in his ears chanting “this isn’t happening” over and over. 😃 There was a joking suggestion of a circle jerk (after we’d come back from a bar drunk). That didn’t happen, we paired up 2 in each bed, followed by mutual fumbling in the dark. I don’t know exactly what happened in the other bed, but me and my bedmate (the 4th boy) did make out a little and cuddle. And fondled eacher other’s stuff (no cumming though). The next morning when we woke up I was spooning him. He suggested we take a shower together “to save time” :dubious:. Which we did. A standard hotel bathtub/shower was not meant to be used by 2 17 yr old boys, I slipped, landed on my ass on the bathroom floor, narrowly missing hitting on the sink and ending up in a Montreal emergency room. :o Quebec City was a repeat with different partners, except we weren’t drunk, me & another boy tried _le soixante neuf_ while our room while out roommates were at the hotel pool, and I didn’t try showering with him. In all it was a very fun, yet weird weekend. We were all pretty flirty with eachother, but we didn’t directly admit to being gay. Notice I said “at least 3 of us”, I lost touch with 4th after graduation so I can’t confirm anything. He didn’t seem the least bit upset about anything that was going on though. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/53 "2011-03-12T00:16:49Z")
I’d like to retract my earlier take on this case. I figured the kid was flaunting the policy in front of his roommate, but after reading [the Washington Post version](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/03/04/AR2011030403022.html) of the story I see that Jones’ roommate was out of town. Now I think the Navy is being a dick. It was on the weekend, during visitor hours, the door was locked, roommate was out of town and just in case, there were covers between the two. He’s not trying to set a precedent or pull a fast one, he’s fighting for his career. I think he should. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/54 "2011-03-12T04:20:18Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I’d like to retract my earlier take on this case. > > I figured the kid was flaunting the policy in front of his roommate, but after reading [the Washington Post version](http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/03/04/AR2011030403022.html) of the story I see that Jones’ roommate was out of town. > > Now I think the Navy is being a dick. It was on the weekend, during visitor hours, the door was locked, roommate was out of town and just in case, there were covers between the two. > > He’s not trying to set a precedent or pull a fast one, he’s fighting for his career. I think he should. So is he gay or not? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585/55 "2011-03-12T05:03:45Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > So is he gay or not? The important thing is the Navy thinks so, and it’s why they’re discharging him at a time they shouldn’t be. I hope someone brings this to the attention of someone pretty far up the food chain. The local command needs to be reprimanded at least, for insubordination and disobeying lawful orders to quit with this conduct unbecoming bullshit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-chance-that-these-guys-arent-gay/573585.md?page=2)