Is there any gameshow on TV dumber than "Family Feud"?

…and Pee-wee Herman and Phil Hartman and Tom Sellleck and Steve Martin and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sally Field and Bryan Cranston and (at least) one serial killer.

I remember one episode where the poor bachelorette mixed up the answers and accidentally chose a dweeb instead of a Greek god. You could almost see her loins melt when Adonis walked out, and the look of horror on her face when she saw Dweeby was priceless. He kept trying to put his arm around her as Jim Lange told them about their prize, and it was clear she didn’t want to be there.

It seems that if you were a wannabe-actor, game shows were a way to get your face out there with minimum effort. Hey, you might even win a few dollars, or prizes that you could turn into dollars.

Match game irritated me because the celebrity guests would often deliberately give unmatchable answers. Going for a cheap laugh instead of helping the contestant win money.

Many contestants picked Richard Dawson because he tried to give the most easily matched answer. He wanted them to win cash.

I always thought Richard’s appearances on Match Game lead to his job on Family Feud.

My favorite game show is the classic version of Password. It seems like the more skilled game and fair. The celebrities took it seriously and didn’t give joke clues.

I consider Wheel of Fortune to be the Rodney Dangerfield of game shows - it doesn’t get the respect it deserves. It doesn’t require factual knowledge (like Jeopardy!). However, it does require pattern recognition, both the phrases and spelling. While lucky spins play a role in success, there are definitely good and bad strategies in certain situations.

That’s one of the game shows on the channel that I mentioned above. I’ve seen it there. Is it ever different from the modern-day version!

Allen Ludden hosted. The show was low-key, and played without anybody looking for laughs, no matter who the celebrities were. Of course, there were accidental funny moments, but that’s what they were—accidental. Ever seen Carol Burnett be dead serious? She was on that show. Cash prizes, and not much by today’s standards (I believe the bonus round paid a top prize of $250), but it moves slowly enough that the gameplay engages the viewer. “Skilled and fair” sums it up well.

Led, not “lead.” Lead in everything was what poisoned the Romans.

My favorite moment in Family Feud came during the Dawson years. One set of contestants was a Black family from Detroit, and the face-off task was “Name an everyday activity where you’re likely to be in danger.”

The Black family’s teenaged daughter immediately slammed on her buzzer and said “Stealin’ hubcaps!”

I remember one episode where Max Baer (Jethro Bodine on The Beverly Hillbillllies) was paired with a contestant. The Password was “Zone,” and the only clue Max could think of was “End.” (The “End Zone” in American football, geddit?) He said it again and again as the two teams went back and forth without guessing the answer. Finally, at the end of the round, Alan Ludden leaned forward and asked “Would it help if I said ‘Twilight?’”

You also have to know how to pronounce words like “Achilles.” One college student didn’t and lost his chance to win the game.

All Richard Dawson could think of to say was "What city are you from again? ’

She was also a contestant (not celebrity) on Password Plus. She listed her occupation as interior designer.

I’ve watched some classic Password: they used difficult words! That would be hard to play.

Nah, it’s whether or not you think the probability of a higher payout justifies giving up a guaranteed payout.

I have an older relative (close to ninety years old) who watches Family Feud late at night on the Game Show Network and is convinced that, when one of the two families is white while the other is black, Steve Harvey favors the black family, giving them more time and attention.

People Puzzler (which seems to have vanished). Crosswood puzzle game with softball questions the contestants whiff on all roo often.

There was a very good SNL sketch, featuring Steve Martin, titled Common Knowledge. It used a Jeopardy board format but, like Family Feud, the answers were derived from surveys.

Anytime I stumble across Family Feud and watch for 5 or 10 minutes, I recall Common Knowledge — and enjoy the idea that Family Feud is a fairly nice, very popular, show based on the same concept.

Certainly Deal or no Deal equals in dumbness.

Pick cases. You have no knowledge of any contents. No way to determine what in a single one.

Your pick numbered case…should probably just be #25(the top number).

Then just tick off cases 1 towards 24 until the deal is good from the accountant guy.

But, no. They make it 10X more dramatic and people actually stand there thinking about the cases as if it matters what they pick.

And the spins have at least a little skill, too. I remember one episode I saw back in the 90s, where the guy just kept on, every spin, exactly hitting the $10,000 space sandwiched into a third of a regular space between two slivers of Bankrupt. Too bad that he had no clue whatsoever about letters.

From my couch I’m always much better at Jeopardy than I am at Wheel.

Last week, I drove a friend to and from a colonoscopy. I was in the waiting room two hours. As God is my witness, the TV played nothing but back-to-back episodes of FF.

If I could have traded places with my friend, I would have.

“Name something you would rather do than watch a Family Feud marathon?”

“Have a colonoscopy.”

“Survey says…”