Ah, WWII, a very complicated war with very complicated roots, as well as a heaping share of just plain human brutality towards other humans.
I had several uncles in the Pacific in WWII (in addition to a couple in Europe, too). The Pacific guys were all front-line Marines who, afterwards, never talked much to anyone about what had happened. They didn’t have to - what little they did mention was enough to convince my young self not to inquire further. Icky warning: They certainly did see a lot up close and personal, and most of their buddies weren’t even buried - when you’re pinned down by gunfire you don’t go grave-digging no matter how good of friends you were with that guy over there. Uncles are where I learned about nature’s beach-cleaning crew, in which crabs figured prominently. At first, none of them or their fellow Marines ate the crabs because the crabs were so happy to munch on dead people. When they started to get really hungry, though, and as time went on, they started eating the crabs. In some places, starving Japanese troops eliminated the crab middle-man and went directly to canabalism. Uncle Bill always said the battle stuff he had seen was much, much worse than crabs eating out the eyeballs of the corpse lying on the sand next to him. Uncle Bill would also include sound effects with this story.
Anyhow - the uncles weren’t terribly fond of Japanese. In fact, they still used some nasty language in referring to them. On the other hand, when they encountered a Japanese (or other Asian, because, to be honest, they didn’t draw much distinction between them) in later life they were courteous and polite (usually). But they never, ever trusted them - were absolutely convinced that the civilized veneer was just that - very thin veneer and just underneath were sadistic beasts.
By cooincidence, where I went to high school we had a significant number of Japanese kids. Apparently their elders felt much the same about Americans as my uncles felt about Japanese. And they had all sorts of family lore about the atrocities Americans had committed against the Japanese. I guess the main difference between us in regards to WWII is that while we both had similar stories about American atrocities in the Pacific, only the Americans seem to have any stories of Japanese atrocities. These kids - and their parents - seemed very shocked at hearing about some of what went on that was perpetrated by Japan.
As my life has gone on, and as I have learned more about WWII, including details never shared in my high school history classes (being very explicit and nasty), I can’t claim that we Americans were wonderful, ethical human beings. However, I do not see any official recognition on the part of the Japanese government, or of many native Japanese, to admit and take responsibility for what they had done that was just plain wrong. They do seem to portray themselves as victims - sort of “oh, yes, we bombed Pearl Harbor and maybe that was wrong, but your reaction was all out of proportion to what we had done”
Well, yeah, the Doolittle Raids did wind up bombing a hospital and burning down civilian homes - but the Japanese killing tens of thousands (in some estimates, hundreds of thousands) of Chinese in response to just a few people aiding pilots landing on the mainland was also a bit over the top, don’t you think? After which both sides spent some time escalating up the war crimes ladder.
Anyhow - yes, the Americans took “trophies” - they mailed home Japanese skulls and trinkets made of Japanese bones in addition to collection of personal effects, but we’ve admitted that and in cases where identification could be made the remains have been returned to surviving relatives with apologies (as if any apology could atone for that) Yes, we bombed civilians, dropped napalm on cities, and yes, there were those atomic bombs. But like I said, we’ve admitted to that. We provided medical care to the injured after the war. We helped rebuild Japan (back in the 70’s and 80’s some of us said we maybe had done too good a job). I don’t know how you make up for doing bad things like that, but at least we’ve tried to balance the scales.
The Japanese, however, seem to go blissfully on and don’t seem to understand why other folks are still angry about things like “comfort women” (a euphenism for imprisoning women for the purposes of allowing soldiers to rape them at a rate of 40-70 men a day, every day, for the duration of the war - or until they died, as many of them did), slaughter of civlians including canabalism (well, the Japanese troops were starving in many instances), torture of men who had surrended, and the charming habit of putting a bullet in the head of wounded (of either side) rather than rendering aid. The use of prisoners and civilians for biological warfare and medical experiments. Use of live people for both sword practice and bayonet practice in the training of soldiers. And, oh yes, only the Japanese used chemical warfare (on the Chinese mainland) during WWII.
So yeah, there’s a LOT of hatred and mistrust in Asia (so I’m told) about a lot of things that happened during WWII. And the Americans may be allies of the Japanese now, but we’re somewhat uneasy as friends. Certainly, neither side wants a re-match on the battlefield, but we still have a lot of areas of disagreement. A lot of this is cultural differences, yes, but it’s part of American culture that it’s most honorable to confess to one’s wrong-doings and attempt atonement. Maybe in Japan it’s still considered best to never admit wrong and “save face”. I don’t know how you reconcile those two differences. But until the Japanese can admit that they were aggressors in WWII there will be a lot of people who don’t trust them - if you can’t be honest about your conduct in the face of overwhelming evidence how can you be trusted to be honest in other areas?
Pearl Harbor was NOT the only unprovoked attack launched by the Japanese during WWII.
And my uncles always had contempt for how the Japanese treated their own - leaving troops on Pacific islands to starve, killing the wounded instead of caring for them, women and children being forced to suicide rather than being allowed to surrender… (not everyone who jumped off a cliff after an American invasion of an island did so willingly). It gets pretty bad when you start feeling sorry for the enemy grunts you’re shooting at (not too sorry - they were still at war, after all)
So please, spare me the notion that the atomic bombs were so horrifically out of proportion to the rest of the war - horrible yes, a new technology, yes, a new way to kill and wound people but the fact is a lot more people died of conventional causes - starvation, bullets, disease, fire, and swords - than the a-bomb killed or wounded. Which doesn’t make them OK, but I think people focus so much on those two bombs they forget the rest of the horror that happened.
Of course, the generations that actually remember WWII on a personal level are dying off, so the actual guilty are disappearing on both sides. I don’t think the younger generation on either side is being told the full truth. This may lead to greater trust in the future, without the memories of horrific things to poison the relationship, but I question if that sort of ignorance is really the best foundations on which to build a relationship in the future.