# Is there any milk substitute that doesn't taste like ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** soda-softdrinks\ **Created:** [January 10, 2017, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843 "2017-01-10T23:31:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/21 "2017-01-11T05:30:02Z")
I always make my own milk substitute using coconut milk. It works well for me, and tastes reasonable. It’s very simple: - One can of coconut milk lite (the full-fat version doesn’t work so well). - Dilute with water about 4-1, or however you like it. - Add a little sweetener of your choice - not too much. It will last for up to a couple of weeks in a closed container in the fridge. I’ve found this to be both cheaper and better than any milk substitute I can buy. I don’t even like coconut particularly, but you don’t get too much of a coconut taste in your coffee, tea, or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/22 "2017-01-11T08:42:09Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Has anyone here tried hemp milk? I have, and it wasn’t something I’d try again. It didn’t taste that bad, but it LOOKED weird. It was a strange gray-blue color. I have, actually, and it was a lot creamier than I’d have expected, had the right mouth feel and flavor to it. Can’t speak to the color as there was a green tea powder in it that overwhelmed any native coloring. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/23 "2017-01-11T12:01:33Z")
I like the almond/cashew blend from Silk. The cashew provides the creaminess. I only use it for cereal, however. I use regular flavored nondairy creamer for coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/24 "2017-01-11T12:26:49Z")
I have tried soy milk, almond milk, hazelnut milk, coconut milk, rice milk, oat milk, and hemp milk. Soy milk: Apparently has some potential issues with mucking with your hormones, but probably the closest you’re going to get to animal milk in non-animal form. Comes in sweetened and unsweetened, and in a range of qualities from “tasty” to “gritty water”. Almond milk: Next best choice. Better for you than soy milk, but worse for the environment. Also comes in sweetened and unsweetened. My current preference (unsweetened) Hazelnut milk: Similar to almond milk but I’ve only found it in sweetened form. Makes a nice porridge/oatmeal though. Coconut milk: Watery, and the coconut taste is pretty strong so whether you like it depends on how you feel about coconut. I wouldn’t put it in coffee unless you have unusual tastes. Rice milk: Like a more watery version of soy milk. Also comes in a range from “tasty” to “gritty water”. Okay to drink on its own but I find it too thin for cereal or coffee. Oat milk: Overpriced, watery and generally meh. Not terrible but not as good as the above alternatives. Hemp milk: I’m not sure how - and maybe I got a bad brand or even a bad container - but this managed to be simultaneously creamy and watery, presenting the worst textural aspects of both, like slimy globs in thin gritty gruel. Plus it tasted awful and, as noted above, is a disturbing color. Like drinking a milky rope. Avoid. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/25 "2017-01-11T13:32:22Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > How do you know what Ass tastes like? Milk substitute, in any case, ought to taste like Boob ---
**Author:** ![psychonaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psychonaut/32/4655_2.png) [@psychonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychonaut)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/26 "2017-01-11T13:39:06Z")
Our local supermarket recently started stocking [lupin milk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupin_milk). It doesn’t taste much like milk, but I like it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/27 "2017-01-11T13:43:30Z")
Soy is the one with the least amount of aftertaste, and they’ve actually seemed to figure out a way to make it creamy. You can even get soy cream, which is basically just with less water in it. My favorite is actually the Great Value brand from Walmart. They’ve really got the creamy part down. I’m pretty sure it must be like an alternate of a big brand, but I’ve not figured out which one. If you don’t add any sugar in your coffee, go unsweetened. If you do, sweetened is easier to find. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/28 "2017-01-11T14:40:10Z")
What are you looking for in a milk substitute. For me, if I’m going to drink it - soy milk has the best combination of taste and mouth feel, but I still seldom drink a glass of it. The nut milks don’t have much body to them, but sweetened vanilla cashew milk tastes pretty good (it doesn’t taste like milk, though). We go through a lot of unsweetened cashew milk for smoothies. I’m not a fan of coconut milk, which tastes too much like coconut. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/29 "2017-01-11T15:38:56Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I have tried soy milk, almond milk, hazelnut milk, coconut milk, rice milk, oat milk, and hemp milk. > > Soy milk: Apparently has some potential issues with mucking with your hormones, but probably the closest you’re going to get to animal milk in non-animal form. Comes in sweetened and unsweetened, and in a range of qualities from “tasty” to “gritty water”. > > Almond milk: Next best choice. Better for you than soy milk, but worse for the environment. Also comes in sweetened and unsweetened. My current preference (unsweetened) > > Hazelnut milk: Similar to almond milk but I’ve only found it in sweetened form. Makes a nice porridge/oatmeal though. > > Coconut milk: Watery, and the coconut taste is pretty strong so whether you like it depends on how you feel about coconut. I wouldn’t put it in coffee unless you have unusual tastes. > > Rice milk: Like a more watery version of soy milk. Also comes in a range from “tasty” to “gritty water”. Okay to drink on its own but I find it too thin for cereal or coffee. > > Oat milk: Overpriced, watery and generally meh. Not terrible but not as good as the above alternatives. > > Hemp milk: I’m not sure how - and maybe I got a bad brand or even a bad container - but this managed to be simultaneously creamy and watery, presenting the worst textural aspects of both, like slimy globs in thin gritty gruel. Plus it tasted awful and, as noted above, is a disturbing color. Like drinking a milky rope. Avoid. Thanks, that’s helpful. I picked up an unflavored almond milk yesterday and will give it a try. It may have been the vanilla that gave the other one an unpleasant aftertaste. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/30 "2017-01-11T15:50:50Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’m not a fan of coconut milk, which tastes too much like coconut. My daughter, who is lactose intolerant, reports worse ‘digestive outcomes’ with coconut-based products than with actual milk. The lactose-free dairy products we have were work OK for her (they are just milk that has been treated with lactase to break down the lactose into simpler sugars), but it’s not clear to me that the OP’s problem is lactose, or some other sensitivity. Soya and oat based milk substitutes seem the best (well, least-worst) to me. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/31 "2017-01-11T17:10:19Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > My daughter, who is lactose intolerant, reports worse ‘digestive outcomes’ with coconut-based products than with actual milk. > > The lactose-free dairy products we have were work OK for her (they are just milk that has been treated with lactase to break down the lactose into simpler sugars), but it’s not clear to me that the OP’s problem is lactose, or some other sensitivity. > > Soya and oat based milk substitutes seem the best (well, least-worst) to me. I have digestive issues with any palm/coconut/tropical oil product … though my doc jokes with me that if he needs me to do a bowel cleanse for a colonoscopy he should hand me a bottle of coconut water. And why yes I do have to scrutinize every premade food _cough_granola bars_cough_ non-dairy and some dairy creamers, anywhere they are swapping out fats to be more ‘dietarily compliant’. If you opt for soy milk as your nondairy of choice, you can get a soy milk maker and make anything ranging from ‘skim milk’ to ‘heavy cream’ by changing the proportion of beans to water. My soy milk maker also will do pretty much any grain, seed, legume or nut ‘milk’. And soy beans are dirt cheap from my co-op, way cheaper to make it myself. I also use it to make that mexican rice drink _nummy_ ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/32 "2017-01-11T17:18:24Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > Our local supermarket recently started stocking [lupin milk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupin_milk). It doesn’t taste much like milk, but I like it. Ah, ‘lupin _beans_’. That makes much more sense than my first thought (“Romulus and Remus brand Lupin Milk”, and “Gosh, I wouldn’t want to have to do the milking…”) Anyway, for the OP, I like soymilk on cereal, though it’s better if you don’t go looking for something that tastes just like milk (because nothing will taste exactly like milk), but rather go look for something that does the same job (i.e. is it reasonably tasty with cereal and just as nutritious). ---
**Author:** ![Chet\_Manley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47c2d/32.png) [@Chet\_Manley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chet_Manley)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/33 "2017-01-11T20:13:07Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Soy milk: Apparently has some potential issues with mucking with your hormones, but probably the closest you’re going to get to animal milk in non-animal form. Do you have a cite for this? I’ve heard this a lot but when I’ve looked in to it I can’t find a reliable source backing it up. As for the OP, if you’re used to drinking dairy, non-dairy milks can take a bit of time to get used to. The first time I drank soy milk I thought it was horrible and was close to throwing out the rest of the carton. Now soy milk is my go to for most of my milk related needs. The tastes and textures of plant milks can vary a lot, not just between different types(soy, almond, rice etc.) but even between different brands of the same type. It may take a while to find one that suits you as it really does come down to personal taste ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/34 "2017-01-11T21:20:07Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > My daughter, who is lactose intolerant, reports worse ‘digestive outcomes’ with coconut-based products than with actual milk. > > The lactose-free dairy products we have were work OK for her (they are just milk that has been treated with lactase to break down the lactose into simpler sugars), but it’s not clear to me that the OP’s problem is lactose, or some other sensitivity. > > Soya and oat based milk substitutes seem the best (well, least-worst) to me. I used to love a tall, cold glass of milk. When I lived overseas, the only milk available was UHT milk, which I found largely undrinkable, so I quit drinking milk altogether. I pretty much abstained from it unless I was back in the states, but basically did without it for ten years or so. Once I moved back to the states, I found that a big glass of milk caused some pretty quick digestive effects. So I cut back my use of it. In more recent times, milk in a quantity sufficient for a bowl of cereal caused excessive flatulence and even diarrhea. And now, even enough half/half to flavor my coffee causes the same problem. I have no idea if that’s a lactose problem or some other issue. I can eat cheese without any apparent drastic effects. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/35 "2017-01-11T22:08:15Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I used to love a tall, cold glass of milk. When I lived overseas, the only milk available was UHT milk, which I found largely undrinkable, so I quit drinking milk altogether. I pretty much abstained from it unless I was back in the states, but basically did without it for ten years or so. Once I moved back to the states, I found that a big glass of milk caused some pretty quick digestive effects. So I cut back my use of it. In more recent times, milk in a quantity sufficient for a bowl of cereal caused excessive flatulence and even diarrhea. And now, even enough half/half to flavor my coffee causes the same problem. I have no idea if that’s a lactose problem or some other issue. I can eat cheese without any apparent drastic effects. Definitely sounds like the usual symptoms of lactose intolerance. Definitely not casein, since that’s in cheese. So, yeah, try “lactose free” milk, which is really milk with lactase added to help you digest the lactose (because your body doesn’t produce it anymore). Or get the lactase tablets and take just before drinking milk. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/36 "2017-01-11T22:38:50Z")
Many people put fruit juice in their cereal, instead of milk or a milk-substitute. Plant based milk also comes in cream varities now. I have bought rice cream and soy cream. The consistency and creaminess is very much like cow milk creme. It can even be whipped up, and it looks and tastes good in soups and in coffee. > **[Dairy Substitutes: Complete Guide to Dairy Alternatives - Go Dairy Free](https://godairyfree.org/dairy-substitutes)** > > Guide to dairy substitutes for cream, butter, yogurt, milk, cheese, common dairy baking ingredients, and more from the author of Go Dairy Free. > [@](#): > > Products: Cream Alternatives at the Store > > Below are the products we’ve had a chance to taste-test and review here on Go Dairy Free. For a more extensive list of dairy-free products to substitute cream, get one of our No Dairy Product Lists; they include thousands of dairy-free foods. > > Califia Farms AlmondMilk Creamer for Coffee and Tea > Nutpods Dairy-Free Creamer > Oat Supreme Non-Dairy Alternative to Cream (DISCONTINUED) > So Delicious Coconut Milk Creamer > So Delicious Dairy Free Almond Milk Creamer > So Delicious Dairy Free CocoWhip Coconut Whipped Topping > Soyatoo Whipped Soy Topping > Trader Joe’s Soy Creamer (DISCONTINUED) > Vivian’s Live Again Creamy Whipped Topping Mix > Wayfare Dairy Free Sour Cream ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/37 "2017-01-11T22:42:32Z")
I’ve tried different substitute milks. I loathe soy products, they all have that unpleasant soy taste, and I have tried different ones for decades. Rice milk has a gritty texture, oat milk too oats and too high carb. I’ve had best luck with coconut milk creamer, the kind in the dairy case. It has the best taste, but it doesn’t smooth out the coffee the same way real half and half does. If your problem is simply the lactose in milk, and cheese doesn’t bother you, why not try actual cream? It is pure fat, so it probably wouldn’t be a problem. If that doesn’t work, adding unsalted butter to your coffee and blending it gives the creaminess and smooths out the coffee very well. I do that when i run out of cream. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/38 "2017-01-11T22:53:28Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Vodka. Most of my friends prefer beer. They don’t taste much like milk but they taste a hell of a lot better than the common milk substitutes. You, Sir, win the internet. At least MY internet. Well done :D. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/39 "2017-01-12T03:03:14Z")
Thanks for the suggestions, all. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/40 "2017-01-12T05:58:05Z")
> [@Chet\_Manley](#): > > Do you have a cite for this? I’ve heard this a lot but when I’ve looked in to it I can’t find a reliable source backing it up. You’d have to eat a LOT of soy (get most of your protein from tofu for months on end, that kind of thing) to cause issues with your hormone balance. Using soy milk in your coffee isn’t going to do that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843.md?page=3)