# Is there any milk substitute that doesn't taste like ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** soda-softdrinks\ **Created:** [January 10, 2017, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843 "2017-01-10T23:31:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/41 "2017-01-12T11:46:27Z")
> [@Chet\_Manley](#): > > Do you have a cite for this? I’ve heard this a lot but when I’ve looked in to it I can’t find a reliable source backing it up. According to the [British Thyroid Association](http://www.btf-thyroid.org/information/108-thyroid-and-diet-factsheet), “Soya interferes with thyroxine absorption, therefore if you are taking thyroxine you should try to avoid soya. If you wish to take soya, there should be as long a time interval as possible between eating the soya and taking the thyroxine.” As I suffer from mild hypothyroidism I stopped drinking soy milk and switched to almond (hence the comprehensive list - I was checking out all the alternatives). ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/42 "2017-01-13T20:08:40Z")
Mr. singular absolutely cannot tolerate milk, but he uses heavy whipping cream in his tea and Italian cream sodas without incident. Have you tried cream? ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/43 "2017-01-13T20:56:45Z")
When I went through chemo I had to switch to soy milk because cow’s milk tasted awful. Once off chemo I couldn’t stand the soy milk. So maybe you should go on chemo and start drinking soy milk? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/44 "2017-01-13T23:29:25Z")
I’d agree with **singular1** up there. If it’s a lactose intolerance there’s precious little lactose in heavy cream, especially in the little dab you need for coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/45 "2017-01-14T01:55:24Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > I’d agree with **singular1** up there. If it’s a lactose intolerance there’s precious little lactose in heavy cream, especially in the little dab you need for coffee. I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you, but I’m very interested in investigating your claim in more depth. Can you give us a cite, please? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/46 "2017-01-14T12:08:23Z")
OK, it’s not a peer reviewed site, but this [site](http://www.stevecarper.com/li/superguide_to_dairy_products.htm)says: Here’s a simple rule of thumb: the higher the fat content, the lower the lactose content. (Even whole milk has a tiny bit less lactose than skim milk.) Half-and-half has just over 4.0% lactose. Light or table cream runs just under 4.0% lactose. Whipping cream (also called light whipping cream) has somewhere between 3.0% and 3.5% lactose. Heavy cream has about 3.0% lactose. For most people, therefore, a splash of cream in their coffee contains too little lactose to be concerned about. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/47 "2017-01-15T19:55:20Z")
Thank you for that link **Bill** , it is most interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/48 "2017-01-15T21:47:39Z")
I picked up a quart of lactose “free” half and half to try out. It seems to be okay, as I wasn’t farting the National Anthem afterwards. I’ve also got some unsweetened almond milk. We’ll see how it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/49 "2017-01-16T04:28:43Z")
Sphincter Farms’ new anus-flavoured butt milk, surprisingly, does not taste like ass. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/50 "2017-01-16T09:15:22Z")
I can’t get it here in Australia, but I have heard good things about Ripple (pea milk) - high protein, no water usage concerns and apparently a good mouth feel, unlike Almond milk. Interesting to know if anyone’s tried it, is it any good? ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/51 "2017-01-17T22:41:42Z")
I like Silk Vanilla as a substitute for milk in cereal and occasionally coffee. The Chocolate Silk I buy as a treat because I’ll drink 2 L in a day if it’s around… ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2017, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/52 "2017-01-17T23:44:36Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I used to love a tall, cold glass of milk. When I lived overseas, the only milk available was UHT milk, which I found largely undrinkable, so I quit drinking milk altogether. I pretty much abstained from it unless I was back in the states, but basically did without it for ten years or so. Once I moved back to the states, I found that a big glass of milk caused some pretty quick digestive effects. So I cut back my use of it. In more recent times, milk in a quantity sufficient for a bowl of cereal caused excessive flatulence and even diarrhea. And now, even enough half/half to flavor my coffee causes the same problem. I have no idea if that’s a lactose problem or some other issue. I can eat cheese without any apparent drastic effects. You have my utmost sympathies Chef. We were given Parmalat in the army, and Holey Shitsville was it awful! Did you know that Parmalat (or one of their subsidiaries) does or did make ice cream, and that a case of Parmalat style ice cream (12 individual serving sizes of an ounce or two each iirc) can sit in the sun all day in late April in the Mojave Desert and only get warm and just a little runny, but not melt? I never touched a government issued dairy product ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/53 "2017-01-18T04:29:14Z")
> [@Chet\_Manley](#): > > Do you have a cite for this? I’ve heard this a lot but when I’ve looked in to it I can’t find a reliable source backing it up Soy is a phytoestrogen, aka estrogen mimic, which is purportedly an endocrine disruptor. While there are numerous studies looking at the pros and cons of phytoestrogens, the evidence of either is not definitive. This review [The pros and cons of phytoestrogens - PMC](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3074428/) covers pretty much all of them. It’s generally recommended women with a family or personal history of breast cancer, and men, minimize their soy consumption. However, if you are suffering from osteoporosis, estrogens, and possibly phytoestrogens, promote increased bone density. ---
**Author:** ![CatandMouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@CatandMouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatandMouse)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843/54 "2017-01-18T04:32:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I like a bit of 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee and I like an occasional bowl of cereal. But milk doesn’t agree with me, and more and more I just can’t tolerate it. I’ve tried a few non-dairy products (mostly of the almond variety), but don’t care for them. > > Does anybody have a recommendation for something they’ve had good experience with? I love rice milk and coconut milk. I try to stay as far from milk as possible. I don’t believe it’s good for you, and for me personally, it’s terrible for my allergies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-milk-substitute-that-doesnt-taste-like-ass/776843.md?page=2)