# Is there any other way to interpret this? (Dating) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 2, 2020, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075 "2020-07-02T16:23:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/1 "2020-07-02T16:23:30Z")
A friend of mine, that I had a crush on TEN years ago is showing what I think is interest. Over the past few years we have not been in close contact. Mainly just saying hi to each other on Facebook. Yesterday, I gave her a call out of the blue. I heard she’s looking for employment and I wanted to tip her off on a job lead. After we finished talking about the job (turns out she already found one). We start engaging in idle chit chat. One of the first things she asked me: “Are you and “Amy” still together?” Me: “No unfortunately, we broke up two years ago” [more idle chit chat] Her: “When this CV dies down, we should go do a yoga class together. And after that, we can see what happens”. So, is she showing interest? I already tried asking her out ten years ago and she declined (which is fine). So I’m a little hesitant. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/2 "2020-07-02T16:30:00Z")
Of course there are other ways to interpret this. Perhaps she’s so company-starved by the corona that she’s tentatively considering tolerating your presence just to have _some_ company - though she’s not starved enough to commit to more than a single yoga session. That interpretation is certainly possible. Is it likely? I’ll leave it to people with social skills and friends to answer that. Personally I would suggest that you refrain from assuming that this is a sex contract or something, but then I’m single so what do I know. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/3 "2020-07-02T16:32:09Z")
I’m not asuming anything. A “sex contract”? Really dude? SMH ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/4 "2020-07-02T16:36:53Z")
You should _definitely_ get her to sign a sex contract before going to some lame-ass yoga class. As a more serious answer, it sounds like an initial spark of interest, and if you’re interested too, take her up on it. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/5 "2020-07-02T16:49:21Z")
Well, my point is that it’s perfectly fine to go, but while you’re at it be constantly aware that your interpretation might be totally wrong - or somewhat wrong, or slightly wrong. Having hopes is fine, having interest is fine, but having expectations is only fine so long as you’re willing to accept new data in real time. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/6 "2020-07-02T16:55:23Z")
I assume you haven’t seen each other in ten years. Her interest may be tentative because she doesn’t know how you’ve held up body-wise (I think this is supported by the yoga class invite, where she is signalling that she is taking care of herself, and you declining that particular venue might indicate that you aren’t). So I think she’s interested enough to want to see you in person, but with absolutely no commitment of any kind. That’s the way I’d take it, anyway. So I see no harm in accepting, as long as you are very clear with yourself that it may or may not lead to actual dating, and that there is no implied promise of anything more. Or what **begbert2** said immediately above. (I understood what he meant by “sex contract,” some men think that any glimmer of acceptance or interest is a guarantee that they are going to get laid.) ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/7 "2020-07-02T17:03:07Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I assume you haven’t seen each other in ten years. Her interest may be tentative because she doesn’t know how you’ve held up body-wise (I think this is supported by the yoga class invite, where she is signalling that she is taking care of herself, and you declining that particular venue might indicate that you aren’t). So I think she’s interested enough to want to see you in person, but with absolutely no commitment of any kind. That’s the way I’d take it, anyway. We still see each other, it’s just not very often. It’s usually in group setting when we do. Saw her last year at a mutual friend’s wedding. Also, we have the same yoga instructor (her niece), we just don’t go (or did go) to the same classes. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/8 "2020-07-02T17:17:17Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Her: “When this CV dies down, we should go do a yoga class together. And after that, we can see what happens”. I don’t see the last sentence as being interpreted as anything but a sign of interest. Now, it’s a sign of interest that may be reneged upon, it might be something she just said in the moment, but it’s a sign of interest or at least that she’s not averse to the possibility. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/9 "2020-07-02T23:38:35Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Her: “When this CV dies down, we should go do a yoga class together. And after that, we can see what happens”. > > So, is she showing interest? She’s showing interest of some form, the specifics of which neither you nor I know yet. Is there some reason you think you need to know, rather than wait and see how things develop? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2020, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/10 "2020-07-02T23:48:00Z")
To be honest, it’s just a mixed bag of emotions. It took me a minute to get over that crush ten years ago. Don’t really want to go through that again. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see how things develop like you say. Thanks for posting. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2020, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/11 "2020-07-03T00:43:32Z")
Why not say “Yoga sounds great, but in the mean time, let’s grab a takeout coffee and wander around [name of park].” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2020, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/12 "2020-07-03T19:13:03Z")
Even better, why not say “I really enjoyed chatting with you. Let’s do a Zoom lunch some time.” Why wait for things to reopen? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2020, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/13 "2020-07-03T19:54:56Z")
Thanks. I just texted her to ask if she would like to chat this evening on Zoom. Her response: “That sounds like a great idea! I’ve already been Zooming with my sister and brother.” I’m looking forward to it. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2020, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/14 "2020-07-03T20:02:27Z")
You sly dog, you. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2020, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-other-way-to-interpret-this-dating/914075/15 "2020-07-03T20:14:38Z")
In my opinion, she may not be showing interest. But she’s showing the possibility of interest. She hasn’t reached the point of saying yes to going out with you but she isn’t saying no. You’re still under consideration.