# is there any place in the Bible that defines marriage **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 2, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492 "2012-09-02T23:14:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/1 "2012-09-02T23:14:13Z")
as one man and one woman? I’m sorry if this has been asked before and I missed it. If this is the wrong place to ask I guess it will get moved. I don’t really want a discussion, although it could turn into one. I really just want a factual answer. I know it talks of men having multiple wives and concubines. I know it says that when a man dies his widow is supposed to marry his brother. Is there any place that defines marriage as one man and one woman? I am so tired of arguing with people who say the Bible defines it as such and they tell me that since I am not Christian I don’t know what I am talking about. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/2 "2012-09-02T23:39:04Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I am so tired of arguing with people who say the Bible defines it as such and they tell me that since I am not Christian I don’t know what I am talking about. I’m not a bible expert, so I won’t pretend to know the answer to your question\*, but have you considered asking them to show you where it says that? \*but I’m familiar enough with the Bible to know that an explicit definition isn’t there. You have to infer it indirectly from something like And and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Adam and Eve and June and Betsy. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/3 "2012-09-03T00:03:58Z")
[Matthew 19:4,5](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019:4,5&version=NIV) Referencing Genesis 1:27 & 2:24 YMMV . ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/4 "2012-09-03T00:12:08Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > [Matthew 19:4,5](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019:4,5&version=NIV) > > Referencing Genesis 1:27 & 2:24 > > YMMV > > . TY Does this override having multiple wives or a widow marrying her deceased husbands brother? What if all the brothers are already married? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/5 "2012-09-03T00:17:08Z")
You’re welcome. It was a good question. I don’t do doctrine. Just answering if there was anywhere in the Bible that might be used to answer the question. This passage seemed relevant. As far as I can recall, B-I-L marriage was a Mosaic Law rule, and the multi wives or concubines were allowed somehow. I’ll let someone else detail all that. ---
**Author:** ![stevenova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@stevenova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stevenova)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/6 "2012-09-03T00:27:02Z")
The bible incorporates commonly held interpretations of what words mean. It doesn’t define what an apple is either. It certainly doesn’t describe was circumcize means, it just uses the world you should circumcize your boys. So there was a preexisting defeinition of what marriage means, as marriage has always been between men and women, something the lefties wish they could deny. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/7 "2012-09-03T00:33:42Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > [Matthew 19:4,5](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019:4,5&version=NIV) > > Referencing Genesis 1:27 & 2:24 > > YMMV > . The first quote in the link just notes that there are two sexes. The second doesn’t rule out other possibilities. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/8 "2012-09-03T00:36:56Z")
> [@stevenova](#): > > The bible incorporates commonly held interpretations of what words mean. It doesn’t define what an apple is either. It certainly doesn’t describe was circumcize means, it just uses the world you should circumcize your boys. So there was a preexisting defeinition of what marriage means, as marriage has always been between men and women, something the lefties wish they could deny. But it was also between one man and many women. If you remember, when Isaac wanted to marry Rachel, he was forced to marry her older sister, Leah first, then work some more, and finally marry Rachel. I’d suspect polygamy was allowed for most of human history. So, any Biblical definition of marriage must include it, and if one wants to go by the Biblical definition, it should be allowed. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/9 "2012-09-03T01:04:31Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I know it says that when a man dies his widow is supposed to marry his brother. What the hell? If my husband dies, I’m supposed to marry his brother? His gay brother? Would that mean I’d have to marry my husband’s gay brother’s gay husband as well? Sorry, **sahirrhee** , I know _you’re_ not making this claim. Apologies for the hijack; the silliness of such a “law” drove me temporarily insane :D. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/10 "2012-09-03T01:07:55Z")
> [@stevenova](#): > > The bible incorporates commonly held interpretations of what words mean. It doesn’t define what an apple is either. It certainly doesn’t describe was circumcize means, it just uses the world you should circumcize your boys. So there was a preexisting defeinition of what marriage means, as marriage has always been between men and women, something the lefties wish they could deny. [nitpick]circumcise[/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/11 "2012-09-03T01:12:36Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > What the hell? If my husband dies, I’m supposed to marry his brother? His gay brother? Would that mean I’d have to marry my husband’s gay brother’s gay husband as well? > > Sorry, **sahirrhee** , I know _you’re_ not making this claim. Apologies for the hijack; the silliness of such a “law” drove me temporarily insane :D. It’s not a silly law at all, in context. It provides a mechanism which forces the dead husband’s family to provide for his childless widow, who otherwise would probably have been relegated to a pretty crappy position in a patriarchal society. > [@Wikipedia](#): > > A levirate marriage (Hebrew: yibbum) is mandated by Deuteronomy 25:5-6 of the Hebrew Bible and obliges a brother to marry the widow of his childless deceased brother, with the firstborn child being treated as that of the deceased brother, (see also Genesis 38:8) which renders the child the heir of the deceased brother and not the genetic father. There is another provision known as halizah (Deuteronomy 25:9-10), which explains that if a man refuses to carry out this ‘duty,’ the woman must spit on the ground in front of him, take one of his shoes, and the others in the town must always call him ‘the one without a shoe’. While this provision implies that a brother may opt out of Levirate marriage, there is no provision in the Books of Moses for the widow to do so. However, this does not mean the widow is unable to opt out. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/12 "2012-09-03T01:26:15Z")
If that wiki entry is accurate, then explain what happened to Onan who was punished for not giving his widowed sister-in-law a child. Certainly sounds like he did not have an opt-out clause. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/13 "2012-09-03T01:26:47Z")
> [@stevenova](#): > > The bible incorporates commonly held interpretations of what words mean. It doesn’t define what an apple is either. It certainly doesn’t describe was circumcize means, it just uses the world you should circumcize your boys. So there was a preexisting defeinition of what marriage means, as marriage has always been between men and women, something the lefties wish they could deny. Since your new, you might want to take some time to read the registration agreement and the rules for the various forums. The mods are very strict about keeping politics out of this forum. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/14 "2012-09-03T01:55:26Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > If that wiki entry is accurate, then explain what happened to Onan who was punished for not giving his widowed sister-in-law a child. Certainly sounds like he did not have an opt-out clause. I can’t claim this as an official explanation, but Onan lived a long time before Moses. It’s not clear that the law would have been the same then. ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/15 "2012-09-03T02:05:07Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > If that wiki entry is accurate, then explain what happened to Onan who was punished for not giving his widowed sister-in-law a child. Certainly sounds like he did not have an opt-out clause. The opt-out clause is explicitly discussed in the Bible, so it doesn’t really seem to be a point of debate: > [@Deuteronomy 25:5-10](#): > > 1. If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not be married abroad unto one not of his kin; her husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother unto her. > 2. And it shall be, that the first-born that she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother that is dead, that his name be not blotted out of Israel. > 3. And if the man like not to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate unto the elders, and say: ‘My husband’s brother refuseth to raise up unto his brother a name in Israel; he will not perform the duty of a husband’s brother unto me.’ > 4. Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak unto him; and if he stand, and say: ‘I like not to take her’; > 5. then shall his brother’s wife draw nigh unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face; and she shall answer and say: ‘So shall it be done unto the man that doth not build up his brother’s house.’ 10 And his name shall be called in Israel the house of him that had his shoe loosed. The Onan story portrays him as marrying his brother’s widow because his father (Judah) told him to. It would seem likely that he or Judah wanted to avoid the social disgrace resulting from not going through with the marriage. Then, although he publicly married her, he privately refused to father a child who would carry on his brother’s name. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/16 "2012-09-03T02:19:42Z")
> [@Shmendrik](#): > > The Onan story portrays him as marrying his brother’s widow because his father (Judah) told him to. It would seem likely that he or Judah wanted to avoid the social disgrace resulting from not going through with the marriage. Then, although he publicly married her, he privately refused to father a child who would carry on his brother’s name. See: [What exactly was the sin of Onan? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2205/what-exactly-was-the-sin-of-onan) > [@](#): > > Marrying your brother’s wife is forbidden in biblical law, specifically Leviticus 18:16 and 20:21. However, there is an exception if your brother dies without having had a son. In that case, a man is obligated to impregnate his widowed sister-in-law to give his dead brother a son, who becomes the brother’s heir. Deuteronomy 25:5-10 describes a way for the brother to decline this responsibility, but presumably at the time of the story of Onan, that legal mechanism wasn’t known. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/17 "2012-09-03T04:40:36Z")
This isn’t exactly the question, but since we’re looking for a defining of marriage, Matthew 19 goes on define it a little further. It says that divorce is forbidden and equates to adultery. Jesus was pretty big on the divorce=adultery topic and it appears several times in the Bible. Except in rare circumstances, marriage is for life and divorce is a sin, and not only would it get you stoned (the painful kind) in the old testament, the Bible says that adulterers can’t get into heaven either. So, people using the bible to define marriage put themselves in a corner question. First, there’s a good chance they’re divorced or married to a divorcee and are going to hell right alongside the homosexuals anyway and second, why aren’t they fighting against the million divorces per year as much as they are against the relatively few gays that want to get married? I’ve always thought it would be logically difficult to be on that side of the argument. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/18 "2012-09-03T05:07:56Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > Jesus was pretty big on the divorce=adultery topic… Can you quote chapter and verse (hah!) to support that claim? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/19 "2012-09-03T06:11:22Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Can you quote chapter and verse (hah!) to support that claim? > **[Matthew 19:9 - Teachings about Divorce](https://biblehub.com/matthew/19-9.htm)** > > Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/20 "2012-09-03T06:15:12Z")
> [@Shmendrik](#): > > It’s not a silly law at all, in context. It provides a mechanism which forces the dead husband’s family to provide for his childless widow, who otherwise would probably have been relegated to a pretty crappy position in a patriarchal society. I am happy not to have to live within that context, and it wasn’t the “law” itself I consider silly but the application of it to modern life. I adore both of my brothers-in-law, but none of us wants me to be married to either of them under any circumstances. And as far as the impregnating :eek: goes, we’re all on the darker side of 50 and I’m missing some parts. What happened under this law to widows who were beyond childbearing age or were unable to bear children? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492.md?page=2)