# is there any place in the Bible that defines marriage **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 2, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492 "2012-09-02T23:14:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/21 "2012-09-03T06:17:17Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > \*but I’m familiar enough with the Bible to know that an explicit definition isn’t there. You have to infer it indirectly from something like And and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Adam and Eve and June and Betsy. Adam and Eve is an origin story for humanity, how the hell would Adam and Steve make any sense as an origin story?! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/22 "2012-09-03T06:19:58Z")
Polygamy was the standard for Near East civilizations; I’m willing to bet that Judaism adopted monogamy as a result of Greek, and later Roman, influence. ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/23 "2012-09-03T06:33:00Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I know it says that when a man dies his widow is supposed to marry his brother. Well then, you’ve answered your own question. Polygamy was not only permitted, it was _ **required** _ under circumstances which would have occurred fairly frequently in Israel after the Exodus, when there was a lot of fighting, and student deferments were tough to get. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/24 "2012-09-03T07:28:28Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Adam and Eve is an origin story for humanity, how the hell would Adam and Steve make any sense as an origin story?! If you were in Ancient Greece, you might write about Adam and Steve (and Adam’s wife, Eve). ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/25 "2012-09-03T08:31:20Z")
> [@stevenova](#): > > It doesn’t define what an apple is either. Off-topic: Not only that – it doesn’t even tell us which kind of fruit it was that Eve ate. It just says “fruit.” Could have been an apple, could have been a grape, a fig, a pomegranate – who knows. Speculation abounds. On-topic: I am yet to hear of a Biblical verse which _explicitly_ condemns polygamy. (No, Mark 10:7-8 doesn’t count.) ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/26 "2012-09-03T08:56:59Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > If you were in Ancient Greece, you might write about Adam and Steve (and Adam’s wife, Eve). Sure but Steve is pretty irrelevant, unless he is also fathering kids with Eve. Were Adam and Eve even married? ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/27 "2012-09-03T09:46:14Z")
Getting back to the OP… > [@sahirrnee](#): > > Is there any place that defines marriage as one man and one woman? When we discuss the definition of words, context is extremely important. The concept of polygamy has been mentioned several times in this thread. But just as “marriage” might mean different things to different people, so too might “polygamy” mean different things to different people. And we must be extremely careful to take nothing for granted. Specifically: Suppose a man has two wives. That situation might exist under two very different constructions. (A) There might be two separate marriages, such as where John married Jane, and in a separate ceremony he married Sally. (B) Or, we might be talking about a group marriage, where the three of them all married each other together. It seems to me that the group marriage is clearly inconsistent with the idea of “one man one woman”, but it could be argued that the two separate marriages would not be inconsistent with it. Here’s another way of phrasing what I’m trying to say: If a law would be enacted defining marriage as “one man and one woman”, that would not necessarily make the anti-bigamy laws obsolete, depending on how they are phrased. ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/28 "2012-09-03T14:31:08Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Can you quote chapter and verse (hah!) to support that claim? Maybe I shouldn’t have said he was “big” on the topic, but he was quite clear that is was a sin. In Matthew 19, as SageeRat posted, and repeated in Mark 10 and Luke 16. In The Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 he expanded adultery to include lust and to illustrate how serious adultery is said to avoid lust to pluck out your eye because it’s better to lose a part of your body than go to hell. Then he followed that with a talk about divorce=adultery. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/29 "2012-09-03T15:04:38Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I’m not a bible expert, so I won’t pretend to know the answer to your question\*, but have you considered asking them to show you where it says that? > > \*but I’m familiar enough with the Bible to know that an explicit definition isn’t there. You have to infer it indirectly from something like And and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Adam and Eve and June and Betsy. I have asked and so far none have able to show me which then leads to them telling me that since I’m not a Christian I don’t know what I am talking about. However I was raised as a Christian and I have read the Bible and I’ve not seen ‘marriage’ defined anywhere, but I could have missed it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/30 "2012-09-03T15:07:14Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > [Matthew 19:9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery."](http://bible.cc/matthew/19-9.htm) But that only says Jesus was against no fault divorce, not divorce. Divorce is A-OK when infidelity is involved. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/31 "2012-09-03T15:14:50Z")
> [@stevenova](#): > > The bible incorporates commonly held interpretations of what words mean. It doesn’t define what an apple is either. It certainly doesn’t describe was circumcize means, it just uses the world you should circumcize your boys. So there was a preexisting defeinition of what marriage means, as marriage has always been between men and women, something the lefties wish they could deny. No offense, but this is exactly the kind of non-answer I didn’t want. However it does bring up another question, circumcision is required for Jewish and Muslim men, is there any place in the Bible where circumcision is required of Christian men? Is it even mentioned at all? ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/32 "2012-09-03T15:33:55Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > However it does bring up another question, circumcision is required for Jewish and Muslim men, is there any place in the Bible where circumcision is required of Christian men? Is it even mentioned at all? It is often mentioned. Circumcision is not required of Christian men. I Corinthians 7:18-19: > [@](#): > > Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/33 "2012-09-03T15:38:06Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > No offense, but this is exactly the kind of non-answer I didn’t want. > > However it does bring up another question, circumcision is required for Jewish and Muslim men, is there any place in the Bible where circumcision is required of Christian men? Is it even mentioned at all? A discussion of that issue is found in Acts chs 11 & 15. And in Acts 16:3, Paul circumcised Timothy (possibly to avoid confrontation with Jews?) ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/34 "2012-09-03T16:11:20Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > This isn’t exactly the question, but since we’re looking for a defining of marriage, Matthew 19 goes on define it a little further. It says that divorce is forbidden and equates to adultery. Jesus was pretty big on the divorce=adultery topic and it appears several times in the Bible. Except in rare circumstances, marriage is for life and divorce is a sin, and not only would it get you stoned (the painful kind) in the old testament, the Bible says that adulterers can’t get into heaven either. > > So, people using the bible to define marriage put themselves in a corner question. First, there’s a good chance they’re divorced or married to a divorcee and are going to hell right alongside the homosexuals anyway and second, why aren’t they fighting against the million divorces per year as much as they are against the relatively few gays that want to get married? I’ve always thought it would be logically difficult to be on that side of the argument. I live in Maryland and I wonder why they aren’t going up against the crabbing industry as well. People will tell me that the Bible defines marriage as one man and one woman while they are chowing down on a big pile of steamed crabs. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/35 "2012-09-03T16:44:40Z")
Lots of things to respond to here, I’ll start with the OP: > [@](#): > > is there any place in the Bible that defines marriage as one man and one woman? In Jewish law, this comes from Deuteronomy 24:1 (NIV translation provided), “If a man marries (literally: takes) a woman.” It is from this passage that the laws of marriage (in Judaism) are based, and the verse says a singular man, and a singular woman. > [@](#): > > I know it talks of men having multiple wives and concubines. The Bible does not mandate that males be married to only one woman. However, a “marriage” is only between one man and one woman, and a man may have many marriages simultaneously. Polygamy in Jewish law is not a single multiple-participant relationship; it’s multiple two-participant relationships. In practical terms, if a polygamous man wants to divorce one of his wives, it does not legally affect the status of the other wives, nor does the act require their input in any way, as their marriages to him are distinct relationships. Since male polygamy is permitted by Biblical law, if a brother dies childless, his widow may marry one of the other brothers (assuming she’s not forbidden to him for other reasons) even if they are all already married. Saint Cad: > [@](#): > > If that wiki entry is accurate, then explain what happened to Onan who was punished for not giving his widowed sister-in-law a child. Certainly sounds like he did not have an opt-out clause. The opt-out clause would have been his prerogative, but he did not desire to exercise it, so it was irrelevant to the story - he wanted to have sex with her but did not want to get her pregnant in his brother’s name, so he went ahead with he ceremony, and then backed out in the middle of the act. For the selfishness of this attitude, he was punished. Sudden Kestrel: > [@](#): > > I adore both of my brothers-in-law, but none of us wants me to be married to either of them under any circumstances. And as far as the impregnating goes, we’re all on the darker side of 50 and I’m missing some parts. What happened under this law to widows who were beyond childbearing age or were unable to bear children? The brother-in-law marriage only applies to women (and, for that matter, men) who are capable of bearing (and begetting) children. Alessan: > [@](#): > > I’m willing to bet that Judaism adopted monogamy as a result of Greek, and later Roman, influence. Not quite; Judaism didn’t adopt monogamy until about 1000 years ago, under an edict by Rabbi Gershom Me’or Hagolah, who was the pre-eminent Rabbi of France and Germany in the 10th century. And in fact this edict wasn’t accepted by Jews of Eastern lands; the Sephardim consented to abide by it only upon the establishment of the modern State of Israel, and in fact, some polygamous marriages of refugees from Arab lands were allowed to stand in the State of Israel as having been “grandfathered” in. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/36 "2012-09-03T17:58:52Z")
> [@Fubaya](#): > > This isn’t exactly the question, but since we’re looking for a defining of marriage, Matthew 19 goes on define it a little further. It says that divorce is forbidden and equates to adultery. Jesus was pretty big on the divorce=adultery topic and it appears several times in the Bible. Except in rare circumstances, marriage is for life and divorce is a sin, and not only would it get you stoned (the painful kind) in the old testament, the Bible says that adulterers can’t get into heaven either. > > So, people using the bible to define marriage put themselves in a corner question. First, there’s a good chance they’re divorced or married to a divorcee and are going to hell right alongside the homosexuals anyway and second, why aren’t they fighting against the million divorces per year as much as they are against the relatively few gays that want to get married? I’ve always thought it would be logically difficult to be on that side of the argument. > [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > [Matthew 19:9 Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery."](http://bible.cc/matthew/19-9.htm) > [@Fubaya](#): > > Maybe I shouldn’t have said he was “big” on the topic, but he was quite clear that is was a sin. In Matthew 19, as SageeRat posted, and repeated in Mark 10 and Luke 16. In The Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 he expanded adultery to include lust and to illustrate how serious adultery is said to avoid lust to pluck out your eye because it’s better to lose a part of your body than go to hell. Then he followed that with a talk about divorce=adultery. It’s quite clear that none of you bothered to actually read the passages in question. Divorce, in and of itself, is not necessarily a sin–it depends on the circumstances. What IS a sin, however, is **remarrying while the divorced spouse is still alive.** Matthew 19:9– And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Mark 10:11-12– And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Luke 16:18– Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. And incidentally–there are an awful lot of people who claim to be Christians who are no such thing–in large part because they are divorced and remarried while their first spouse is still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/37 "2012-09-03T18:03:04Z")
Define Bible. I think that the old testament certainly does not condemn polygamy and concubines and so on, but the new one may well do so. It seems to me that Christians ignore whatever in the old testament they don’t like. E.g., they eat pork and shellfish, they do not honor the sabbath and so on. (I should mention that Sunday is not the sabbath and early Christianity did not have a standard day of worship.) ---
**Author:** ![getitrite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@getitrite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/getitrite)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/38 "2012-09-03T18:37:04Z")
Study and a lot of research helps, or makes it as clear as mud, whichever. I have used this site to help with some of the tougher questions. Hope it may help. > **[Strong's Concordance with Hebrew and Greek Lexicon - EliYah Ministries](https://www.eliyah.com/lexicon.html)** > > Strong's Concordance with Hebrew and Greek Lexicon but remember that the translation of hebrew to english sometimes leads to misunderstatements. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/39 "2012-09-03T18:43:25Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > Not quite; Judaism didn’t adopt monogamy until about 1000 years ago, under an edict by Rabbi Gershom Me’or Hagolah, who was the pre-eminent Rabbi of France and Germany in the 10th century. And in fact this edict wasn’t accepted by Jews of Eastern lands; the Sephardim consented to abide by it only upon the establishment of the modern State of Israel, and in fact, some polygamous marriages of refugees from Arab lands were allowed to stand in the State of Israel as having been “grandfathered” in. Maybe legally; culturally, I suspect that the post-Hellenic Jews considered monogamy the social norm. IIRC, the Hasmoneans (who despite their politics, were largely Hellenized), were all monogamous. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492/40 "2012-09-03T23:56:48Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > The Bible does not mandate that males be married to only one woman. However, a “marriage” is only between one man and one woman, and a man may have many marriages simultaneously. Polygamy in Jewish law is not a single multiple-participant relationship; it’s multiple two-participant relationships. In practical terms, if a polygamous man wants to divorce one of his wives, it does not legally affect the status of the other wives, nor does the act require their input in any way, as their marriages to him are distinct relationships. Hoo hah! “I wasn’t unfaithful to you, dear - I was being serially faithful one woman at a time.” My great-grandfather was supposedly a Talmudic scholar, so I love that kind of reasoning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-place-in-the-bible-that-defines-marriage/633492.md?page=3)