# Is there any possible way to steal the Elgin Marbles from the British Museum for Greece? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 21, 2017, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178 "2017-05-21T21:45:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rick\_Sanchez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rick\_Sanchez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Sanchez)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/21 "2017-05-23T09:20:13Z")
Given that the UK threw about two billion Euros at Greece to help bail them out of the hole they dug for themselves during the credit crunch, I think we should consider the Elgin marbles bought and paid for. ---
**Author:** ![JacobSwan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@JacobSwan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacobSwan)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/22 "2017-05-23T10:28:04Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > Are there massive sewer tunnels under the British Museum? I am thinking making identical copies, doing the switching during the nights when the museum is closed up from the sewers, and bribing the guards working overnight… Once in the sewer, timing will be of the essence. There’s a Roman feast later in the evening, so we must move fast. And don’t wear your best sandals. Turning left here, we enter the Caesar Augustus’ Memorial Sewer, and from there proceed directly to the hypocaust. This has just been retiled, so terrorists: careful with those weapons! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/23 "2017-05-23T12:16:02Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I think they’d be pretty difficult to steal from the museum, not just because it has security systems and protocols, but also, because they’re freaking huge blocks of stone. The logistics of moving them all out of their places in a short space of time would be pretty damn hard, even if it was part of a planned, authorised event - so it would be almost impossible to steal them from the museum. > > I reckon you’d have to try to organise for them to go ‘on tour’ (maybe to Elgin, Moray), allow the museum to carefully pack them up and load them, then hijack the transport. This was my first thought. We’re not just talking a few statues here and there; we’re talking about large parts of a building made from solid marble. You can’t exactly slip them into a pocket and stroll away. Not only would you need to get the museum to pack them up for you, but once you’d hijacked the \*multiple \*lorries involved you’d need to have a shipping container or two waiting at the docks to drive into. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/24 "2017-05-23T12:34:30Z")
I can bring a bunch of red string and little bells so we can practice all this before the real thing. Does anyone have a castle in Scotland where we can plan this? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/25 "2017-05-23T19:17:18Z")
I say we hoist them one piece at a time. If we do it gradually enough, they’ll never notice. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/26 "2017-05-23T22:57:22Z")
We could hang a big CLOSED sign on the front door of the British Museum. That would give us the time to need to pack them all up and put them in the escape dirigible. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2017, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/27 "2017-05-23T23:17:15Z")
If the Belgians don’t want their marbles, why should the Brits give them to the Greeks? ---
**Author:** ![Snowcarpet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowcarpet/32/257_2.png) [@Snowcarpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowcarpet)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/28 "2017-05-24T00:14:41Z")
This. This is how you steal 'em. [http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D8KvM3vZo0w](http://https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D8KvM3vZo0w) (Video clip from _Hudson Hawk_) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/29 "2017-05-24T00:45:20Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > We could hang a big CLOSED sign on the front door of the British Museum. Infiltrate and replace the current staff with people on your payroll. Then announce the Elgin galleries will be closed for renovation. While they are closed, replace the real ones with replicas and ship them off. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2017, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/30 "2017-05-24T02:12:08Z")
Mist your chance. The new wing was completed in 2014 (???). That was when sections were closed, and the trucks with building materials were going in out and around. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2017, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178/31 "2017-05-25T16:43:24Z")
This is almost laughably easy. All I need is a 5 ton cube van, a pass key to get in after hours, a pallet jack and one of [these](http://despicableme.wikia.com/wiki/SR-6)… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-any-possible-way-to-steal-the-elgin-marbles-from-the-british-museum-for-greece/787178.md?page=1)