# Is there anyone here who refuses to pay child support, and if so, how do you justify it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115 "2015-09-13T18:21:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/1 "2015-09-13T18:21:45Z")
We’re having this discussion on another board. I’ve never seen a post, anywhere, from anyone who did. C’mon, people who do this have to be out there, somewhere. The question is not “Does your ex/did your non-custodial parent refuse to pay.” It’s “do YOU refuse to pay, and why?” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/2 "2015-09-13T18:23:57Z")
Since the OP is asking for personal experiences, let’s move this to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/3 "2015-09-13T18:25:57Z")
Great question, I am eager to see some replies. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/4 "2015-09-13T18:36:33Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Great question, I am eager to see some replies. I wouldn’t hold your breath. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/5 "2015-09-13T18:40:46Z")
Will your next thread be something like “Is there anyone here who is embezzling money from a charity, and if so, how do you justify it?” Or “Tell me about your experiences as a serial rapist”? I mean, are you (or is anyone) surprised that people don’t (often, willingly) talk publicly about detestable, criminal things they do? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/6 "2015-09-13T18:49:31Z")
I remember, for example, threads by people who admitted to adultery and how they turned into multiple-page trainwrecks. So if anyone does admit to not paying child support, I expect the rest of the thread to consist of people berating the poster for not doing do. But maybe I’m wrong. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/7 "2015-09-13T19:01:49Z")
Considering some of the things people will admit to on a message board, I just thought I’d toss this out there. I never had kids, so I am not a child support deadbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/8 "2015-09-13T19:06:10Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I never had kids That’s why I, personally, refuse to pay child support (not that anyone’s ever asked me to). ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/9 "2015-09-13T19:07:49Z")
I have several relatives and family friends who have refused to pay child support. In every case it was because the child in question was not their actual child. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/10 "2015-09-13T19:09:40Z")
Could anyone tell about their experience as an Undercover Law Enforcement Officer. PS. I do not have any children, thus I do not pay child support. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/11 "2015-09-13T19:12:06Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I wouldn’t hold your breath. I refused to pay child support. Went to Court and challenged it in Appeals and rehearings. Many times. Of course I was their father’/mother’s lawyer, rather then their father, so I don’t think I qualify.🆒😃 ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/12 "2015-09-13T19:52:38Z")
I refused to pay child support. I figure once they had their Bachelor degree in hand, they could make it on their own. And, happily, they did without any child support. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/13 "2015-09-13T20:00:11Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I refused to pay child support. I figure once they had their Bachelor degree in hand, they could make it on their own. And, happily, they did without any child support. Once your children had their degree(s) or your former spouse? ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/14 "2015-09-13T20:46:20Z")
Hey - an emerging trainwreck _without_ a positive response. Color me unsurprised… ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/15 "2015-09-13T20:58:29Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > Hey - an emerging trainwreck _without_ a positive response. > > Color me unsurprised… Yeah – but I just can’t look away anyway. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/16 "2015-09-13T21:25:37Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > We’re having this discussion on another board. I’ve never seen a post, anywhere, from anyone who did. C’mon, people who do this have to be out there, somewhere. > > The question is not “Does your ex/did your non-custodial parent refuse to pay.” It’s “do YOU refuse to pay, and why?” Do you still beat your spouse? well, it is a legit question. So did you? ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/17 "2015-09-13T21:52:57Z")
Three cases of people who worked for me. One who amazingly still paid, one who eventually couldn’t, and one who missed a couple months: - The first kept paying despite living well below poverty level once the payment was made. He’d been an over the road truck driver and his payment was calculated on that income. His ex played hardball on visitation with zero flex as to days. He was either home on a given day or lost the chance to see his kids. Because of the OTR schedule he was missing most of his time with his kids. Taking local delivery jobs, like what brought him to me, allowed him to see his kids but paid less. It didn’t adjust his child support though since it was a voluntary move. He was paying something like three quarters of his take home pay while he worked with us. He was one financial emergency of any kind away from simply not being able to pay. He justified the risk because it was the only way to reliably be involved in his children’s lives. - Another actually did start missing payments on a pretty regular basis. He had been a real estate agent and support was calculated on commissions when the local market was pretty good. When the market changed, it became touch and go. He left for a job where he was making similar pay to the lower rates but it wasn’t commission; he could budget better. Then that company folded and the best he could find paid even less. Since he’d left the real estate job voluntarily (even though it didn’t pay what it had when support had been calculated) there was no adjustment to his support. The labor market risk fell completely on him. - The third missed a couple months. He’d lost his job when the plant he worked at closed. He’d found other work where things were tighter but okay. Then he got hurt. Between insurance copays and missing several weeks of work it more than chewed up what cushion he had left. He worked a deal with his ex-wife to skip 2-3 months and then make a higher monthly payment till he was caught up. It worked for both of them and provided for the kids. Unfortunately she’d gone through Michigan’s friend of the court system where the payments went to them first (and they kept a cut). They were less flexible. He ended up getting hauled in to court. His ex actually testified on his behalf. Reasonable and mutual adjustments to deal with the short term financial issues weren’t legal in the eyes of the state. Fortunately the judge enforced the intent and not the letter of the law in his case. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/18 "2015-09-13T22:35:32Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I have several relatives and family friends who have refused to pay child support. In every case it was because the child in question was not their actual child. My brother had to raise and support a child that was not his. Just because he married the mother when the kid was 5. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/19 "2015-09-13T23:03:48Z")
My former husband had an extremely acrimonious divorce. The resulting custody agreement was 50/50 (week on/week off) with all outside expenses (doctor copays, sports, etc) split equally, but the ex insisted on getting child support as well. So former husband had it written as “X% of father’s salary” and proceeded to quit his job and work under the table for various folks- and not pay support. X% of 0 is 0, after all. He kept up on all the other obligations in the agreement and more (he did all the school shopping, for instance), but didn’t see the point in paying additional money. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/20 "2015-09-14T00:05:38Z")
I refuse to pay child support. It’s because I’m happily married to my children’s mother. I mean, seriously, it’s just my humble opinion that I shouldn’t have to. > [@](#): > > My former husband had an extremely acrimonious divorce. The resulting custody agreement was 50/50 (week on/week off) with all outside expenses (doctor copays, sports, etc) split equally, but the ex insisted on getting child support as well. So former husband had it written as “X% of father’s salary” and proceeded to quit his job and work under the table for various folks- and not pay support. X% of 0 is 0, after all. He kept up on all the other obligations in the agreement and more (he did all the school shopping, for instance), but didn’t see the point in paying additional money. My step sister’s asshole ex has done the same thing. My step sister and her ex split all the kids’ bills, and he’s supposed to pay a percentage of his income, but now he earns his income mostly under the table. When they were married he was self employed and brought in mid six figures, and I imagine it’s probably in that ballpark now. As a single mom to four kids, she brings in under 40,000 working 2 jobs. Like I said, he’s an asshole. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115.md?page=2)