# Is there anyone here who refuses to pay child support, and if so, how do you justify it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115 "2015-09-13T18:21:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/41 "2015-09-14T04:57:59Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > The law and fairness are often entirely different things. In any case, the law can demand infinite monies from anyone it wants, but whether or not they can pay is an entirely different story. Are you saying it’s unfair for a man who has no income to be required to pay child support? ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/42 "2015-09-14T06:08:45Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > If you owe $1000 a month, and you get fired, get in an accident, whatever, the $1000 is still owed and accumulates. . .You have two choices, go back to court for a modification or start paying. 0 income DOES NOT EQUAL 0 Child support. Would it be possible to take the kid(s) back? If a parent is raising children, and loses his or her job, they can at least get welfare and food stamps. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/43 "2015-09-14T06:50:51Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Are you saying it’s unfair for a man who has no income to be required to pay child support? Are you saying it isn’t? ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/44 "2015-09-14T07:14:45Z")
Not exactly on topic, but many people do not seek child support (or any other kind of support from absentee parents). In fact, in the overwhelming majority of cases of which I am familiar, no one seeks it and/or it is amicable and informal (no courts and garnishments). I had no relationship with my biological father. My mother did not seek one. My step-son has no economic relationship with his biological father (and a non-father on his birth certificate). My wife has helpfully notified me that, when we divorce, she will not seek money from me. If it comes to that, I could not see myself ever paying child support because I expect to have full custody. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/45 "2015-09-14T08:51:35Z")
> [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](#): > > My wife has helpfully notified me that, **when we divorce,** she will not seek money from me. If it comes to that, I could not see myself ever paying child support because I expect to have full custody. :eek: Thats a vote of confidence in your future? ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/46 "2015-09-14T11:09:29Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Well if you don’t want people to assume the guy’s an asshole, you might not want to leave pertinent info out of the story. Otherwise, he’s just an asshole hiding income to get out of paying childcare. Actually it still sounds like he is. He agreed to pay a percentage of his income in child support, but then broke the law to get out of it. This is exactly what my coworker’s ex did. She ended up going after him for every single little cent she could get because she knew he was intentionally screwing up so he wouldn’t have to pay. A similar situation is happening right now with a friend. Yeah, asshole in the sense of shirking parental responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/47 "2015-09-14T11:20:53Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Well if you don’t want people to assume the guy’s an asshole, you might not want to leave pertinent info out of the story. Otherwise, he’s just an asshole hiding income to get out of paying childcare. Actually it still sounds like he is. He agreed to pay a percentage of his income in child support, but then broke the law to get out of it. Maybe you shouldn’t knee-jerk assume, either. I didn’t mention how long he remained out of work, did I (less than a year)? Or that the end of the marriage came as a result of his ex having an affair and then going crazy-Christian (think Kim Davis), and that she literally took everything except the house, so he had to buy replacement furniture for the kids and slept on an Army cot? I left a lot of details out of the story, just because. Sorry I didn’t anticipate having to cover my ass so a guy carrying around his own shit-ton of baggage wouldn’t assume that everyone in a similar-sounding situation is a dick. Just for hoots and giggles, let’s crunch numbers, shall we? When the kids were still underage, he made around $30,000. His income while he was out of work was WAY less than that- when we met he was two months behind on a $600/month mortgage- let’s say $15,000. That’s $3000/year in child support. Do you think he was paying more or less than that by having the kids 26 weeks a year? If you agree that he paid more than that, why should he have give his ex an extra $3,000? I notice you didn’t answer my question earlier, so I don’t anticipate an answer here, but a girl can hope. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/48 "2015-09-14T12:06:58Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > Sorry I didn’t anticipate having to cover my ass so a guy carrying around his own shit-ton of baggage wouldn’t assume that everyone in a similar-sounding situation is a dick. I’m slightly shy of a shit-ton, or like to think so, but the guy you described in your first post also sounded to me like a dick who decided to cheat the system just because didn’t feel like paying. Sometimes details are important. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/49 "2015-09-14T12:52:02Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > Maybe you shouldn’t knee-jerk assume, either. > > [SNIP] > > Sorry I didn’t anticipate having to cover my ass so a guy carrying around his own shit-ton of baggage wouldn’t assume that everyone in a similar-sounding situation is a dick. Perhaps your ex-husband was entirely justified in whatever decisions he made, but surely it occurred to you that people would make assumptions about someone who didn’t pay child support? (Although that sort of thing is why this thread is probably a Bad Idea.) ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2015, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115/50 "2015-09-14T13:08:22Z")
The OP clearly was looking for personal examples of posters who refuse to pay child support, and there have been just about zero responses pertaining to that. And as many of you have pointed out, there aren’t likely to be any forthcoming. If people want to start a general discussion about child support issues, they are free to do so, but I’m going to close this one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anyone-here-who-refuses-to-pay-child-support-and-if-so-how-do-you-justify-it/731115.md?page=2)