# Is there anything a hot woman can say that will make men not want to fuck her **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 8, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226 "2014-01-08T02:19:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/101 "2014-01-10T20:16:29Z")
> [@citizenzen](#): > > Telling a man how good your ex was in the sack might do it. Nah. Just gets the competitive spirit going šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Yaxche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8dc957/32.png) [@Yaxche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yaxche)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/102 "2014-01-10T21:13:57Z")
> [@citizenzen](#): > > Telling a man how good your ex was in the sack might do it. Hey, baby, let me introduce you to the other end of the bell curveā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/103 "2014-01-10T21:44:44Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Even when I would send messages to women who were totally plain looking and talk to them about the interests they discussed in the profile (which I read and sent a message to because I liked their personalities or interests) I got no responses. I ran into this same problem and became very dejected and lost quite a bit of self-esteem. But then I canceled my subscription to a very popular pay site, and 6 months later a friend told me my profile was still on the site with no indication it was inactive. Which helped me recover some to hope that a major number of those no replies were because the site allowed me to message inactive users. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/104 "2014-01-10T22:59:50Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > I ran into this same problem and became very dejected and lost quite a bit of self-esteem. But then I canceled my subscription to a very popular pay site, and 6 months later a friend told me my profile was still on the site with no indication it was inactive. Which helped me recover some to hope that a major number of those no replies were because the site allowed me to message inactive users. The site Iā€™ve used in the past lists people based on when they were last online. So that wouldnā€™t be a problem for me. Here is a curve showing the response rate for men messaging women on the dating site Are You Interested. > **[Here's How Many Messages Men Have To Send To Women On A Dating Site To Be...](https://www.businessinsider.com/online-dating-message-statistics-2013-7)** For whatever reason, women are much more likely to respond to messages sent by guys younger than them than by guys older than them. That sounds counter-intuitive but that is what they found. A guy 8-10 years younger has about an 8-10% chance of getting a response. A guy 10 years older than the woman has a 1% chance of getting a response. But maybe that just has to do with young women getting hit on by old men, combined with the fact that older women realize they have fewer options and are less picky rather than any absolute value in age relativity itself. So consider that hurdle. They mention that if you message people the same age, only about 4% of women reply. They then go on to talk about how youā€™d have to message 18 women to get a 50/50 chance of one reply. However those reply rates are ā€˜averagesā€™. Online dating doesnā€™t work via averages. The quality of the women and men vary drastically. A very desirable woman is less likely to reply than a far less desirable one. A more desirable man gets more replies than a less desirable one. A man who reads a womanā€™s profile and asks her questions about herself gets more replies than someone with one word or sexually explicit messages. However I have heard stories of people (as tests) setting up profiles using photos of male models, claiming large (but not unrealistic) incomes and sending out messages that were very short and generic (hi; how you doin; etc) or who sent out sexually explicit messages and their reply rate was fairly good. So even if your messages are shit if you are a desirable, in demand male you can still get a decent return. I wonder to what degree, because online dating totally skews the supply/demand market, women by and large just shut out the bottom 80% of men in online dating sites. That is my assumption. Take intoxicants as a metaphor. In prison demand for drugs is high and supply is low, so prices go up. Outside of prison demand is lower but supply is still high, so prices go down. People get pickier when they have more options and no one drinks pruno fermented in a toilet, or smokes hash smuggled in someones ass outside of prison. So maybe because women are inundated they get jaded and hold out for that tiny minority of really valuable men (which Iā€™m assuming neither you are I are in, but Iā€™m guessing guys like Shagnasty are in seeing how I know he is fairly well off, educated and probably nice looking). As the article says this causes guys to take the shotgun approach, which inundates women more, which makes them more picky, which causes men to become even more undervalued which causes them to send out even more messages. That is until the guys get jaded and give up. Or maybe they just try it off and on, hoping this time it will be different. I donā€™t know. Iā€™m sure some people have figured out internet dating for men in the bottom 80%, but I donā€™t know what it is. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2014, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/105 "2014-01-11T00:02:40Z")
There are many things that would keep me from dating a woman. If itā€™s just sexā€¦how hot is she? BTW this story isnā€™t the first one Iā€™ve seen like this. > **[Undercover Brother - Do's and Don'ts of Match.com (Male Edition)](http://www.midgetmanofsteel.com/2011/02/undercover-brother-dos-and-donts-of.html?m=1)** > > The Tweet I did kind of says it all: After my wildly successful yet hard-hitting expose on epic Match.com fails that I found from women .. .... ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/106 "2014-01-11T00:24:30Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > So maybe because women are inundated they get jaded and hold out for that tiny minority of really valuable men (which Iā€™m assuming neither you are I are in, but Iā€™m guessing guys like Shagnasty are in seeing how I know he is fairly well off, educated and probably nice looking). > > As the article says this causes guys to take the shotgun approach, which inundates women more, which makes them more picky, which causes men to become even more undervalued which causes them to send out even more messages. > > That is until the guys get jaded and give up. Or maybe they just try it off and on, hoping this time it will be different. > > I donā€™t know. Iā€™m sure some people have figured out internet dating for men in the bottom 80%, but I donā€™t know what it is. Everything you wrote is true. My big advantage is that I am a white male over 6 feet tall with a full head of hair and a college degree who makes a good income and lives in a large metropolitan area. Everything except the education and income is just luck. I realize that few women completely exclude my group from their searches and not everyone may have the same results. I have had women balk and walk when they found out that I am reasonably fit but not that traditionally athletic though. Some of them really do want a fictional character even for just basic dates even if they arenā€™t that exceptional themselves. All of that said, I think the reason I get so many responses is simply because I asked for them at the very bottom of my profile. I put a lot of work into writing my profile overall and it shows to anyone that is interested enough to read the whole thing. It is fairly entertaining to some people. Those are the ones that I want. The last little bit just says that they will have to contact me directly if they are interested because I am not blasting messages out to anyone with a pulse. It is simple and it works. Sometimes I am a little offended by some of the people that think they actually have a shot but at least they are brave. There are plenty of good ones in there too. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/107 "2014-01-11T15:55:52Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Yeah, CL is Craigslist. Oh, donā€™t use Craigslist personals. You advertise for a sub, and all you get are a bunch of people who didnā€™t quite finish their teaching degrees. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/108 "2014-01-11T17:15:13Z")
ā€œIā€™m catholic and Iā€™m ovulatingā€ ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Quatro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@Mr\_Quatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Quatro)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/109 "2014-01-11T20:56:51Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Oh, donā€™t use Craigslist personals. You advertise for a sub, and all you get are a bunch of people who didnā€™t quite finish their teaching degrees. or meet someone that wants to rob you! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/110 "2014-01-11T21:01:45Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Oh, donā€™t use Craigslist personals. You advertise for a sub, and all you get are a bunch of people who didnā€™t quite finish their teaching degrees. Yeah, a mate of mine fixed up to meet a girl called ā€œanal\_babe\_86ā€, and all she did all through the date was complain that his tie wasnā€™t on straight and he held his fork funny. ---
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/111 "2014-01-12T20:48:34Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/112 "2014-01-15T02:33:16Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > I read the article. The writer was pretty clueless. As others have said, she wrote stuff that was **so over the top that it sounded like a joke** , then was offended when men still showed interest. > ā€¦ Psst! It was _all_ a jokeā€¦ ([Cracked.com](http://Cracked.com) is a humor website) ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/113 "2014-01-15T02:38:41Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Yeah, a mate of mine fixed up to meet a girl called ā€œanal\_babe\_86ā€, and all she did all through the date was complain that his tie wasnā€™t on straight and he held his fork funny. I hear you, I went out with a girl named BigMouthMary and I was very disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/114 "2014-01-15T04:42:03Z")
> [@simster](#): > > ā€œIā€™m catholic and Iā€™m ovulatingā€ Close. For me it would be something along the lines of either 1. ā€œI fall in love really easily, and when I do I just need to be with that person 24/7ā€ or 2. ā€œI want to get married and have lots of childrenā€ But this would probably be the clincher. 1. "Iā€™ve had more pricks than a second hand dart board and have every STI known to medical science as well as a few they havenā€™t cataloged yet. " ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/115 "2014-01-15T05:09:40Z")
Ever heard of Valtrex? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2014, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226/116 "2014-01-15T06:52:43Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > I rarely listen to more than 10% of what a woman says. That sounds like a line of Humphrey Bogartā€™s: ā€œI never met a dame that ditten unnerstand a smack in the mouth.ā€ ā˜¹ To answer the threadā€™s title question: ā€œYou know, youā€™re about four inches shorter and 50 pounds lighter than my husband.ā€ ā€œHow do I get downtown? Iā€™m looking for a good VD clinic.ā€ ā€œIā€™m into S&Mā€“shooting and mayhem.ā€ (In cutesy baby-like voice)ā€œOn my wedding night my husband tried to put that awful thing between his legs into my weewee!ā€ ā€œIs it okay if my daddy/_duenna_/little boy watches?ā€ Actually, I would like to know: What is ā€œhotā€ about her? Her posture? Her revealing clothes? Her figure? Her expression? Her speech? Her general deportment? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-a-hot-woman-can-say-that-will-make-men-not-want-to-fuck-her/678226.md?page=5)