# Is There Anything Good About Male Sexuality? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 15, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352 "2015-09-15T13:22:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/41 "2015-09-16T01:15:53Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Maybe it’s not basic animal instinct, maybe you’re unconsciously reliving a past life in which you led one of the major Mongol hordes. 😉 Are you suggesting that my planet’s about to be bulldozed for an interstellar freeway? In fact, half of my ancestry is from Eastern Europe, so I suppose there’s actually a chance that I’m descended from one of those guys. But every part of the world has some men like that in its history, and they presumably make up a disproportionate share of everyone’s family tree. The question is to what extent these men owed their high rate of reproduction to heritable traits. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/42 "2015-09-16T01:40:46Z")
This thread had been something of an eye-opener for me. You see, at this stage of my life, my relationship with my sexuality is pretty much like Bruce Banner’s relationship with the Hulk. Male sexuality is this… thing. It lives in me. I don’t like it. It’s aggressive, and stupid. I don’t trust it farther than I can throw it. It hasn’t been a force for good in my life, overall. And I’ve increasingly come to see it as something separate from myself. These days, I mostly try to ignore it. I wish it would go away. I certainly don’t take advice from it anymore, or let it have much of a say when it comes to making decisions. I try to keep it in a cage. Apparently, I’m so used to thinking about it like this now that I’ve started assuming that this is how everybody feels. So, being reminded that there are men who are comfortable with their sexuality, and identify with it, is, well… I dunno, I guess I had forgotten about that, somewhat. So, thanks, guys. I’m not sure what to do with that information, though. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/43 "2015-09-16T02:43:20Z")
Well, on the whole, male sexuality ensures that our species continues to propagate, so that’s a win. But beyond that, at least in comparison to _female_ sexuality, us guys probably got the short end of the stick. Men generally want to have sex _far more_ than women; men are more sexually aroused by visuals than women, and we can’t even share in the multiple orgasms that women can enjoy when _they_ have sex. C’est la vie. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/44 "2015-09-16T03:18:55Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > Is there anything good about male sexuality? It gets the job done. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/45 "2015-09-16T03:23:44Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > Is there anything good about male sexuality? Sounds like someone’s Little Buddy has been getting him in Dutch lately. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/46 "2015-09-16T03:58:35Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > You see, at this stage of my life, my relationship with my sexuality is pretty much like Bruce Banner’s relationship with the Hulk. Male sexuality is this… thing. It lives in me. I don’t like it. It’s aggressive, and stupid. I don’t trust it farther than I can throw it. It hasn’t been a force for good in my life, overall. And I’ve increasingly come to see it as something separate from myself. These days, I mostly try to ignore it. I wish it would go away. I certainly don’t take advice from it anymore, or let it have much of a say when it comes to making decisions. I try to keep it in a cage. So what you’re saying is you’re afraid you’re going to hulk out and rape someone? Do you warn people that they wouldn’t like you when you’re horny? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/47 "2015-09-16T04:24:43Z")
It would be nice if every inch of cleavage a woman shows wouldnt drop the male IQ by 10%. And it would be nice if we men didnt have to pretend we really were not checking out a woman’s body. If women really knew what the men around them were thinking they would constantly be going around slapping faces. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/48 "2015-09-16T10:26:07Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > This isn’t going to lead us back to all the men disappearing and the women being too weak to do shit, is it? I’ll not speak to “too weak”, but given the shortage of women in key positions to maintain the infrastructure, if all the men disappeared civilisation would collapse by the following sunrise. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/49 "2015-09-16T12:27:49Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Sounds like someone’s Little Buddy has been getting him in Dutch lately. She wasn’t Dutch; She was Latvian. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/50 "2015-09-16T12:40:48Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > She wasn’t Dutch; She was Latvian. And it wasn’t Little, it was widdle. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/51 "2015-09-16T13:14:10Z")
…fifty posts discussing male sexuality and nobody’s said, “Fuc_k that_?” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/52 "2015-09-16T14:46:32Z")
A day later, and the OP still hasn’t come back to explain what he meant. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/53 "2015-09-16T14:47:53Z")
No worries. He’ll be back. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/54 "2015-09-16T15:04:03Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > A day later, and the OP still hasn’t come back to explain what he meant. You had to go and jinx us, didnt you? :mad:😉 ---
**Author:** ![LinusK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@LinusK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LinusK)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/55 "2015-09-16T15:19:00Z")
So I did a quick google search, and the top five results for “male sexuality” were: [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_male_sexuality): There were only two entries, both about male homosexuality. [Myths about Male Sexuality](http://www.serc.mb.ca/sexuality-relationships/male-sexuality/myths-about-male-sexuality): > [@](#): > > Our culture perpetuates these myths regarding sexuality and they still exist because men have traditionally not talked about their sexual feelings and experiences honestly and openly with each other. There have been positive signs recently that this is changing. I’m not sure where the author gets the idea men don’t talk about our sexuality. We do. Just not when women are around. Also, and fwiw, the “myths” are mostly not myths. [5 Lies that Distort Male Sexuality and Hurt Men](http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/09/distort-male-sexuality-hurt-everybody/): written on a feminist website. Because if anybody is an expert on male sexuality, it’s feminists. [Male Sexuality: Why Women Don’t Understand It-And Men Don’t Either](http://www.amazon.com/Male-Sexuality-Understand-It-And-Either/dp/1442203285): haven’t read it, can’t comment. [It turns out male sexuality is just as fluid as female sexuality](http://theconversation.com/it-turns-out-male-sexuality-is-just-as-fluid-as-female-sexuality-36189): it’s a long article, but the point seems to be that men can mess around with each other without being gay. For female sexuality: [Human female sexuality](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_female_sexuality): Also Wikipedia: It has a number of sections, including: Orgasm, Multiple and additional, Erogenous zones, Historical conceptions and control, Modern studies, Feminist concepts, Legislation, & Women as responsible for sexual safety. [9 Coolest Things About Female Sexuality](http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/9-coolest-things-about-female-sexuality) The first one is: > [@](#): > > More freedom to explore sexuality without judgment. [The Mystery of Female Sexuality](https://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201208/the-mystery-female-sexuality) [Female Sexuality](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/female-sexuality/) Actually, 6 pages of links to stories about female sexuality on Huffington post. [The truth about female desire: It’s base, animalistic and ravenous](http://www.salon.com/2013/06/02/the_truth_about_female_desire_its_base_animalistic_and_ravenous/): From Salon: A review of a book I haven’t read. > [@](#): > > Bergner, and the leading sex researchers he interviews, argue that women’s sexuality is not the rational, civilized and balancing force it’s so often made out to be — that it is base, animalistic and ravenous, everything we’ve told ourselves about male sexuality. Some comments from me: From “9 Coolest Things About Female Sexuality”: > [@](#): > > If we were to believe mainstream cultural perceptions, beliefs and media portrayals, female sexuality is terrifying and should be controlled and repressed at almost all costs. Again, a very strange “fact,” since I’m not aware of anybody who thinks female sexuality is “terrifying”. And the idea that female sexuality should be “controlled” hasn’t been mainstream since at least the 1960’s. In the Wikipedia article about female sexuality: > [@](#): > > females are commonly taught that they “should not want sexual activity or find it pleasurable, or have sexual relations outside of marriage,” while males are commonly taught to “feel entitled to have sexual relations and pleasure…” I’m not sure what century this “fact” is from, but certainly not the 21st. And men do **not** feel they’re entitled to sex. I’m reminded of an old joke: _If today women decided that men walking on their hands was sexy, tomorrow a million stores would open to teach men to walk on their hands._ The reality is much more like what **Martian Bigfoot** described: > [@](#): > > This thread had been something of an eye-opener for me. > > You see, at this stage of my life, my relationship with my sexuality is pretty much like Bruce Banner’s relationship with the Hulk. Male sexuality is this… thing. It lives in me. I don’t like it. It’s aggressive, and stupid. I don’t trust it farther than I can throw it. It hasn’t been a force for good in my life, overall. And I’ve increasingly come to see it as something separate from myself. These days, I mostly try to ignore it. I wish it would go away. I certainly don’t take advice from it anymore, or let it have much of a say when it comes to making decisions. I try to keep it in a cage. > > Apparently, I’m so used to thinking about it like this now that I’ve started assuming that this is how everybody feels. So, being reminded that there are men who are comfortable with their sexuality, and identify with it, is, well… I dunno, I guess I had forgotten about that, somewhat. > > So, thanks, guys. I’m not sure what to do with that information, though. Anyway, despite all the lies we tell ourselves, what we’re actually told today, in mainstream culture, is that women’s sexuality is beautiful, and that women should be free to explore it. Men, on the other hand… they really should be more like women. Or, at least keep their depraved, disgusting, dangerous instincts to themselves. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/56 "2015-09-16T15:30:51Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > Anyway, despite all the lies we tell ourselves, what we’re actually told today, in mainstream culture, is that women’s sexuality is beautiful, and that women should be free to explore it. Men, on the other hand… they really should be more like women. Or, at least keep their depraved, disgusting, dangerous instincts to themselves. Dude, whatever existential mid-life male identity crisis you’re going through right now, you’ve got to stop reading chic mags. Go outside and fix or build something. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/57 "2015-09-16T15:32:12Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > Anyway, despite all the lies we tell ourselves, what we’re actually told today, in mainstream culture, is that women’s sexuality is beautiful, and that women should be free to explore it. Men, on the other hand… they really should be more like women. Or, at least keep their depraved, disgusting, dangerous instincts to themselves. Despite all of the lies we tell ourselves, when LinusK says what we believe, we should believe it! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/58 "2015-09-16T15:43:13Z")
I was going to get my doctorate in this subject from the University of Clickbait, but got sidetracked on YouTube getting an advanced education in Right-thinking from [Prager University](http://www.prageruniversity.com/) ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/59 "2015-09-16T16:00:50Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > So I did a quick google search, and the top five results for “male sexuality” were: > > [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_male_sexuality): There were only two entries, both about male homosexuality. > > [Myths about Male Sexuality](http://www.serc.mb.ca/sexuality-relationships/male-sexuality/myths-about-male-sexuality): > I’m not sure where the author gets the idea men don’t talk about our sexuality. We do. Just not when women are around. Also, and fwiw, **the “myths” are mostly not myths.** I am so going to regret this, but…the myths are mistly not myths? I don’t know if you mean that people don’t really believe the “myths” or if they are mostly true and not myths in that way. The article says they are: 1: Men are always ready and willing to have sex. 2: Size matters 3: Very few men are virgins. 4: Sex requires an erection. 5: Sex is over when the man comes. 6: All orgasms are “explosive, mind-blowing, and earth-shattering.” 7: Men in relationships don’t masturbate. Are you saying that people don’t really believe these statements are true, or that they are true? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/60 "2015-09-16T16:21:41Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > So what you’re saying is you’re afraid you’re going to hulk out and rape someone? I’ve never raped anyone. But I have behaved like a dick, and ruined perfectly good friendships, because I’ve wanted to bonk someone instead of appreciating them as a human being. I’m not happy about that. > [@](#): > > Do you warn people that they wouldn’t like you when you’re horny? Yes. Or, well, I don’t know if that phrase has ever come up in conversation. But I do sometimes feel like I should come with a warning tag attached: “Will sometimes become creepy and stupid when aroused.” I’ve certainly apologized quite a lot for stupid shit I’ve done because I was horny. Certainly when I was younger. Less so now, though, I suppose. One benefit of getting older. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352.md?page=4)