# Is There Anything Good About Male Sexuality? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 15, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352 "2015-09-15T13:22:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/61 "2015-09-16T16:30:20Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > You had to go and jinx us, didnt you? :mad:😉 Quick! Pick some lottery numbers! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/62 "2015-09-16T17:13:59Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > But I do sometimes feel like I should come with a warning tag attached: “Will sometimes become creepy and stupid when aroused.” Hell, if you’re creepy and stupid only when horny you’re ahead of a lot of people. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/63 "2015-09-16T18:08:41Z")
Good, bad. I’m the guy with the penis. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/64 "2015-09-16T18:14:38Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > I’ve never raped anyone. But I have behaved like a dick, and ruined perfectly good friendships, because I’ve wanted to bonk someone instead of appreciating them as a human being. Wait, is bonking someone mutually incompatible with appreciating them as a human being? Because I am rather fond of my wife for many reasons, but not the least of them is that she’s good for bonking. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/65 "2015-09-16T18:31:35Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Wait, is bonking someone mutually incompatible with appreciating them as a human being? Of course not. I didn’t mean it like that. Or, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. And, when I think about it, I’m often better at appreciating an attractive lady person as a human being when I’m in a relationship with said lady person. Regular bonking mellows my sexuality right out, with positive knock-on effects. I’m just saying that my dick has often been the bull in the china shop of my life. There are people I would have been better off leaving alone or being nicer too, instead of trying to bonk them. And they most certainly would have been better off. It would have been much better all around, for everyone. But, yeah, sure. Even if I go all out self-loathing and say bonking someone is always a bad decision, sometimes the outcome has still been pretty sweet. I have exes who don’t actually hate me or particularly regret the bonking, or at least so it seems. That does flabbergast me, but it does seem to be the case. It’s not all bad. But I still wish I could go back in that time machine and do a lot of things differently. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/66 "2015-09-16T18:37:25Z")
And you attribute these various regretable events of your past to what the OP calls ‘male sexuality’, yes? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/67 "2015-09-16T18:38:43Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > I’m just saying that my dick has often been the bull in the china shop of my life. There are people I would have been better off leaving alone or being nicer too, instead of trying to bonk them. And they most certainly would have been better off. It would have been much better all around, for everyone. Men don’t have a corner on this market. Not by a long shot. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/68 "2015-09-16T18:48:37Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > I’m just saying that my dick has often been the bull in the china shop of my life. There are people I would have been better off leaving alone or being nicer too, instead of trying to bonk them. And they most certainly would have been better off. It would have been much better all around, for everyone. God gave man a penis and brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time–Robin Williams ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/69 "2015-09-16T18:52:20Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > And you attribute these various regretable events of your past to what the OP calls ‘male sexuality’, yes? Yeah, maybe that’s shifting the blame. Maybe the problem is more that trusting me with male sexuality is like letting a drunk lunatic operate heavy machinery. Although it does seem that sometimes, in [del]Soviet Russia[/del] my life, heavy machinery drives you. When (well, if) I go through the Pearly Gates, I do have something of a mind to tell God: “The heck? Why did you leave that thing unattented, with the keys in the ignition? _Think_, would ya?” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/70 "2015-09-16T18:52:53Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Dude, whatever existential mid-life male identity crisis you’re going through right now, you’ve got to stop reading chic mags. Go outside and fix or build something. Or he could just put on his explorer’s hat and go out and get/give a few bro-jobs. Not necessarily gay until you sign up for the toaster oven. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/71 "2015-09-16T19:06:30Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Yeah, maybe that’s shifting the blame. Maybe the problem is more that trusting me with male sexuality is like letting a drunk lunatic operate heavy machinery. Putting aside for a moment that sexuality (sex drive) varies not just from person to person but through various stages in life and extenuating circumstances, it’s probably more likely that other nature/nurture personality traits come in to play here. With all due respect, maybe it’s simply a matter of you being a jerk\*? (\* not a call out, just an observation of particular character traits) ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/72 "2015-09-16T19:19:30Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > With all due respect, maybe it’s simply a matter of you being a jerk\*? About time someone around here said it out loud. I was wondering when somone would point out the elephant in the room. 😉 Oh, yeah, I’m totally a jerk. Not pretending otherwise. So maybe I shouldn’t blame my sex drive, and instead just declare myself incompetent to drive it. As I said, I mostly wish it would go away. As I was getting at earlier, this thread has reminded me that other people are capable of driving theirs safely, while enjoying the experience, and not getting into too many accidents. And, I know, you could say: “Why not simply stop being a jerk?” Well, the problem is, I don’t always realize that I’m being a jerk. I look back now at situations where my behavior somehow made sense to me at a time, but now it’s obvious that I was being a jerk. It seems foolish to think that it couldn’t happen again. If I didn’t want to bonk anyone, I’d still be a jerk. But at least I would be a jerk in the privacy of my own home, as opposed to a jerk rummaging around in other people’s underwear. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/73 "2015-09-16T19:50:23Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > About time someone around here said it out loud. I was wondering when somone would point out the elephant in the room. 😉 If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking it back in Mary’s thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/74 "2015-09-16T19:56:40Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking it back in Mary’s thread. 😃 And if it makes you feel any better, I just pitted myself for my adventures in that thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/75 "2015-09-16T22:20:24Z")
I think I’m getting an idea of what **LinusK** ’s angle is. He’s saying that feminism is dedicated to fighting an enemy that, in his opinion, no longer exists. He feels that female sexuality is no longer demonized, and that the pendulum has in fact swung all the way to the other side of the clock. My response to that: Western culture has become fragmented. There is no longer a real mainstream. If you spend all day reading opinion pieces on liberal/feminist Internet sites, you can get the impression that everyone believes that stuff now, because you never hear any other points of view. But there’s a whole other world out there. If you live in the US, try driving through a remote rural area in the South or Midwest, and surf the radio. Try joining a Mason lodge or some other club for good old boys. Or just try watching Fox News for a week. You’ll find attitudes you thought died out fifty years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/76 "2015-09-17T01:28:49Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Dude, whatever existential mid-life male identity crisis you’re going through right now, you’ve got to stop reading chic mags. Go outside and fix or build something. Dear God, yes. At the very least, if you can’t stop obsessing about this stuff, start a blog. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/77 "2015-09-17T02:48:10Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > [5 Lies that Distort Male Sexuality and Hurt Men](http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/09/distort-male-sexuality-hurt-everybody/): written on a feminist website. Because if anybody is an expert on male sexuality, it’s feminists. That article appears to have been written by a man. Does his feminism somehow cancel out his male experience and perspective on male sexuality? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/78 "2015-09-17T03:17:56Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > I think I’ve finally made peace with the fact that my male sexuality is archaic. My basic animal instincts seem to want me to go out and impregnate fifty nubile teenagers. Misread that as “_filthy_ nubile teenagers,” which may or may not betray my own basic animal instincts. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/79 "2015-09-17T03:57:00Z")
Things would be a lot easier if I didn’t want to fuck everything that moves. I would be more productive. I would treat people better. I wouldn’t have that almost but not quite shameful feeling when I realize a woman has caught me looking, and she’s uncomfortable about it. _Don’t take it personal, lady! I do that to every woman. Literally every single one. I can’t help it, and I don’t like doing it._ ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352/80 "2015-09-17T16:09:17Z")
> [@LinusK](#): > > So I did a quick google search, and the top five results for “male sexuality” were: > > [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_male_sexuality): There were only two entries, both about male homosexuality. > > [Myths about Male Sexuality](http://www.serc.mb.ca/sexuality-relationships/male-sexuality/myths-about-male-sexuality): > I’m not sure where the author gets the idea men don’t talk about our sexuality. We do. Just not when women are around. Also, and fwiw, the “myths” are mostly not myths. > > [5 Lies that Distort Male Sexuality and Hurt Men](http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/09/distort-male-sexuality-hurt-everybody/): written on a feminist website. Because if anybody is an expert on male sexuality, it’s feminists. > > [Male Sexuality: Why Women Don’t Understand It-And Men Don’t Either](http://www.amazon.com/Male-Sexuality-Understand-It-And-Either/dp/1442203285): haven’t read it, can’t comment. > > [It turns out male sexuality is just as fluid as female sexuality](http://theconversation.com/it-turns-out-male-sexuality-is-just-as-fluid-as-female-sexuality-36189): it’s a long article, but the point seems to be that men can mess around with each other without being gay. > > For female sexuality: > > [Human female sexuality](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_female_sexuality): Also Wikipedia: It has a number of sections, including: Orgasm, Multiple and additional, Erogenous zones, Historical conceptions and control, Modern studies, Feminist concepts, Legislation, & Women as responsible for sexual safety. > > [9 Coolest Things About Female Sexuality](http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/9-coolest-things-about-female-sexuality) The first one is: > [The Mystery of Female Sexuality](https://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201208/the-mystery-female-sexuality) > > [Female Sexuality](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/female-sexuality/) Actually, 6 pages of links to stories about female sexuality on Huffington post. > > [The truth about female desire: It’s base, animalistic and ravenous](http://www.salon.com/2013/06/02/the_truth_about_female_desire_its_base_animalistic_and_ravenous/): From Salon: A review of a book I haven’t read. > > Some comments from me: > > From “9 Coolest Things About Female Sexuality”: > > Again, a very strange “fact,” since I’m not aware of anybody who thinks female sexuality is “terrifying”. And the idea that female sexuality should be “controlled” hasn’t been mainstream since at least the 1960’s. > In the Wikipedia article about female sexuality: > I’m not sure what century this “fact” is from, but certainly not the 21st. > > And men do **not** feel they’re entitled to sex. I’m reminded of an old joke: _If today women decided that men walking on their hands was sexy, tomorrow a million stores would open to teach men to walk on their hands._ > > The reality is much more like what **Martian Bigfoot** described: > > Anyway, despite all the lies we tell ourselves, what we’re actually told today, in mainstream culture, is that women’s sexuality is beautiful, and that women should be free to explore it. Men, on the other hand… they really should be more like women. Or, at least keep their depraved, disgusting, dangerous instincts to themselves. Heh, you said “fluid.” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-good-about-male-sexuality/731352.md?page=5)