# Is there anything more useless...? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505 "2011-09-07T16:13:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/1 "2011-09-07T16:13:20Z")
—than an eyeshadow “wand” that has lost its sponge? ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/2 "2011-09-07T16:24:25Z")
Lots of things. The shaft of a screwdriver that’s lost its handle. A rubber band that’s perished and is no longer elastic. A plastic bag full of unidentified metal fixings the original purpose of which has long been forgotten. A Nickelback “Greatest Hits” CD. And that’s just stuff lying around within eyeball range. ---
**Author:** ![curious11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@curious11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious11)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/3 "2011-09-07T16:31:37Z")
religion ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/4 "2011-09-07T17:01:15Z")
Burned out lightbulbs come to mind. As do rusted-solid engines or transmissions. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/5 "2011-09-07T17:03:05Z")
A tiny sponge with no wand? ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/6 "2011-09-07T17:14:07Z")
I think the standard is “tits on a bull.” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/7 "2011-09-07T17:22:12Z")
> [@curious11](#): > > religion If you want to debate the use of religion, go to GD – that response is clearly out of the spirit of this thread. Thanks, **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/8 "2011-09-07T17:22:18Z")
A guide to training your cat? Joe ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/9 "2011-09-07T17:38:35Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Lots of things. > > The shaft of a screwdriver that’s lost its handle. > > A rubber band that’s perished and is no longer elastic. > > A plastic bag full of unidentified metal fixings the original purpose of which has long been forgotten. > > A Nickelback “Greatest Hits” CD. > > And that’s just stuff lying around within eyeball range. I think the perished rubber band is a good example of something that’s very near the high end on the uselessness scale. The shaft of a screwdriver, not so much – it could still be put to a number of uses, such as opening paint cans or stabbing one’s cellmate. The Nickelback CD also probably makes a decent coaster. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/10 "2011-09-07T18:00:06Z")
Pens with no ink. I hate pens with no ink. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/11 "2011-09-07T18:28:10Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > Pens with no ink. > > I hate pens with no ink. That’s a good one. But you still keep putting them back in the pen jar, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Teufelblitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@Teufelblitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teufelblitz)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/12 "2011-09-07T19:03:18Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > That’s a good one. But you still keep putting them back in the pen jar, don’t you? It makes the jar look like I’m actually using it. There must be something in the lower strata of my pile of computer parts from 20 years ago probably fits the bill. Actually, nevermind. I’ve used the platters from a crashed hard drive to taunt cats and scare off birds from a garden. They also make pretty neat wind chimes. The old 33.6 modem I have is actually my ice scraper in my car now. Ooo! A 5 1/4" floppy disk! That’s pretty useless these days. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/13 "2011-09-07T19:20:03Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > A guide to training your cat? > > Joe Better - that cat harness I bought for walking my cat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/14 "2011-09-07T20:07:44Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > I think the standard is “tits on a bull.” I always heard “tits on an engine.” ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/15 "2011-09-07T20:49:12Z")
School fire alarms. Because invariably everyone assumes it’s a prank or a mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/16 "2011-09-07T20:54:09Z")
Got me to thinking what the largest useless object is. A bridge missing a span? A dam with a hole in it? A pyramid without a razor blade? A space station with no death ray? ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/17 "2011-09-07T21:01:59Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > That’s a good one. But you still keep putting them back in the pen jar, don’t you? I spent fifteen minutes once, going through all the damn pens in the pen jar and pitching the ones that had no ink left. My mom chewed me out for throwing away perfectly good pens. We had a thirty minute long argument as to what constituted a “perfectly good pen”. Apparently, if it occupied part of the space/time continuum and at one point was capable of leaving a mark on paper, it counted as “perfectly good” for my mom. Never again. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/18 "2011-09-07T22:15:44Z")
An English Major. ---
**Author:** ![Soliloquy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Soliloquy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soliloquy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/19 "2011-09-07T22:48:20Z")
Because I’m reading Dance of Dragons right now… Nipples on a breastplate. How about pens that require ink refills? Does anyone really ever buy refill ink cartridges for those things? Someone bought me a nice, engraved pen and pencil set for my high school graduation. Once the ink ran out, the pen just became a keepsake. ---
**Author:** ![jharvey963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/54ee81/32.png) [@jharvey963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharvey963)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/20 "2011-09-07T22:54:06Z")
Altitude above you and runway behind you… (For all of the pilots out there) J. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505.md?page=2)