# Is there anything more useless...? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505 "2011-09-07T16:13:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/21 "2011-09-07T22:59:16Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > I always heard “tits on an engine.” For me, it’s “tits on a boar hog”. In keeping with the porcine theme, how about: “Useless as trying to teach a pig to sing” or “Useless as trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/22 "2011-09-07T22:59:29Z")
BCS 😉 Decaffeinated coffee Yahoo’s Fantasy Football predictions Non alcoholic beer My old broken Nikon F2AS finder (can’t see thru it, can’t meter with it, gone digital now anyways) An old stool sample of mine I found ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/23 "2011-09-08T00:20:43Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > An old stool sample of mine I found Wait…what?! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/24 "2011-09-08T00:45:45Z")
Patches O’Houlihan: “You’re all about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.” ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_N.Cheese)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/25 "2011-09-08T14:10:27Z")
A bunch of old keys. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/26 "2011-09-08T17:09:38Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > … The Nickelback CD also probably makes a decent coaster. Nah - lets the condensation drip onto the table. However, if you’ve got a dozen or so of them and a hot glue gun they make a nifty Christmas decoration. My contribution: bottle caps. My daughter, for reasons that I cannot comprehend, saves caps from bottles she gets when we’re eating out. Needless to say, I throw them out as soon as she’s out of eyesight. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/27 "2011-09-08T17:13:55Z")
> [@jharvey963](#): > > Altitude above you and runway behind you… > > (For all of the pilots out there) > > J. You forgot “gas on the ground” ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/28 "2011-09-08T17:31:12Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Non alcoholic beer I disagree; non-alcoholic beer has allowed my father to get the satisfaction of a beer after a day’s work over the past 20 years without having to deal with the alcohol, which he had previously proven he had a severe problem with. He’s a much better man now than before! ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/29 "2011-09-08T18:49:41Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > That’s a good one. But you still keep putting them back in the pen jar, don’t you? Yes. I also tie the nylons with runs in a knot, and throw them back in the drawer. 🙂 [SIZE=“1”]and put that carton with a quarter-inch of milk back in the fridge.[/SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/30 "2011-09-09T17:21:13Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Better - that cat harness I bought for walking my cat. 😃 Hell, yes. We tried that. Once. the cat quickly let us know what she thought about that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/31 "2011-09-09T19:37:29Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > I disagree; non-alcoholic beer has allowed my father to get the satisfaction of a beer after a day’s work over the past 20 years without having to deal with the alcohol, which he had previously proven he had a severe problem with. He’s a much better man now than before! Cool. For me, tho … Phone books are quickly becoming doorstops for me. Last time I actually opened one, I was looking for an oil change coupon. (Found a better one online.) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/32 "2011-09-09T19:53:35Z")
> [@Rocketeer](#): > > Hell, yes. We tried that. Once. the cat quickly let us know what she thought about that. 😃 Well, in a sense the harness proved useful - all you had to do to get the cat to vanish into thin air, was to lay one’s hand on it. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/33 "2011-09-09T20:12:55Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Cool. > For me, tho … Yeah, I can’t stand the stuff either. We have 4 left in the back of the fridge from the last time he was here, and even if I really, really want a beer, I won’t touch the 0.5! Dad says it tastes like shit, but he’d rather have that than nothing, so good for him. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/34 "2011-09-09T20:35:57Z")
on the theoretical a screen door on a submarine on the practical pens without ink can use the tube for passageways for solids, liquids or gases. a fabricator considers them raw materials that should be kept out of the writing instrument storage area. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505/35 "2011-09-09T20:57:09Z")
- A cell phone (not a smart phone) with no signal. - Flour and sugar but no butter or eggs. - Flat soda. - Snooki > [@brujaja](#): > > —than an eyeshadow “wand” that has lost its sponge? For safety’s sake, you’re best off pitching that wand as soon as you open the shadow and using a good brush for application, so that oil & bacteria from your skin aren’t left in the compact, incubating and contaminating your makeup. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-more-useless/595505.md?page=1)