# Is there anything wrong with this e-mail? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954 "2004-08-28T15:11:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/1 "2004-08-28T15:11:44Z")
I hate to be one of those “how does this sound” people, especially regarding an e-mail that’s already been sent, but I got an unexpected reply from someone and it’s really making me wonder. Last night I sent the following message to a handful of friends and family members, all of whom I have received more than one forwarded e-mail from: > [@](#): > > Dear Friends & Family, > > The time has finally come for me to make this request: please stop sending me forwarded e-mails. No more jokes, no more funny pictures, no more teddy bears or angels, no more snowball fights, no more political or religious messages, etc. Effective immediately, please do whatever you need to do to your e-mail distribution list(s) so that I no longer receive forwarded e-mails of any kind. > > I think this is a pretty straightforward request, but if you have any question about the type of e-mail messages I’m talking about please let me know: I’ll be happy to clarify. 🙂 > > Thanks! > > –Misnomer This is the version I settled on after several attempts at explaining my reasoning and/or explaining that I did not mean for any of these people to stop sending me e-mails altogether. In the end, I figured it _was_ a pretty straightforward request, and that there was no reason for me to explain or justify it. Was I too blunt or something? I was a little emotional when I wrote it – I’d just gotten yet _another_ thoughtlessly forwarded e-mail that insulted me (it literally said “sit down and shut up”) for having different political/religious beliefs than the sender – but I’d been thinking about making such a request for a long time, and even drafted a similar e-mail a few months ago (which I never sent out). Also, the person whose reply surprised me is not the most stable member of my family, so while I can’t dismiss their reaction entirely I also can’t take it as an example of ‘normal.’ So, my rational, mature fellow SDMBers, whaddya think? (Aw, what the heck: I’m interested in your opinion even if you _aren’t_ rational or mature… 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Fritz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c57346/32.png) [@Fritz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fritz)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/2 "2004-08-28T15:22:26Z")
Looks reasonable to me…polite, yet firm. I can see why it may give offense, however. You are politely, yet firmly rejecting the opinions of those that send the glurge… ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/3 "2004-08-28T15:47:57Z")
What was the “unexpected reply?” ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/4 "2004-08-28T15:49:51Z")
My last request to have no more glurge included: > [@](#): > > This is pure BS. Urban Legends Reference Pages details this particular piece of crap and many of its permutations. It includes the word-by-word email you sent. Why do you forward this sort of thing? Your request was much more civil. If you take out the phrase, “Effective immediately,” it’s one of the nicer ones I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/5 "2004-08-28T16:20:31Z")
Thanks everyone. 🙂 I try to be careful when composing things like that, but oftentimes the same people who send glurge will be ‘offended’ by a request that they stop. The “sit down and shut up” e-mail I got last night was the straw that broke this camel’s back, though: while I know I could simply delete anything with “fwd” in the subject line, I have a few friends who will actually reference these messages in later conversations and be ‘hurt’ if I haven’t read them. I refuse to continue to be randomly insulted by people I know (and in most cases, love), so I figured it was just best to ask for no more. > [@ivylass](#): > > What was the “unexpected reply?” “Please lose my e-mail address.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![MaryEFoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@MaryEFoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaryEFoo)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/6 "2004-08-28T17:52:17Z")
Might have been the timing. Amazing, right after “sit down and shut up”, you send a request. Someone decided to take it personally, although they might be a third party. IMHO, your e-mail was not out of line, but the person trying to cut communication was. I’d keep his addy, and include him on the next family-inclusive e-mail. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/7 "2004-08-28T18:29:11Z")
That was soo much more polite than mine was. I said something along the lines of: “If I don’t mean enough to you to _think_ of something yourself to write to me, its time to not write to me.” Hey, whatever come into my head, just falls out my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/8 "2004-08-28T20:20:28Z")
My reservation is along the lines of thinking that it might be slightly more polite (and effective) to send this individually to those who are forwarding nonsense, rather than to a list. The latter method tends to make people think you may be blaming them for the transgressions of others (which indeed you may be, if this to some extent was an angry respose to an e-mail forwarded by just one person on your list). There’s also a degree of inconsistency in saying, in effect, “Here’s a broadcast e-mail noting my objection to receiving certain forms of broadcast e-mails.” But these are minor quibbles. I think you are within the bounds of reasonable behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/9 "2004-08-28T20:26:38Z")
I think it was a bit terse, but what’s done is done. I like my solution better, though: whenever I get offensive political glurge, I hit “Reply To All” and bomb the sender’s own distribution list with political glurge of the opposite stripe. Good times. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/10 "2004-08-28T20:37:20Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > That was soo much more polite than mine was. I said something along the lines of: “If I don’t mean enough to you to _think_ of something yourself to write to me, its time to not write to me.” > > Hey, whatever come into my head, just falls out my mouth. Great line. Perhaps you can use some of mine. I gave my nephews cash in a Christmas card with the message “Buy your own fucking present.” Since they opened them at their grandparents it proved most amusing. If I give a gift voucher my note is always “Ah, the gift that says I couldn’t be bothered thinking about this.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/11 "2004-08-28T20:44:27Z")
Oh, the other one that **picunurse** may like is if people send me stock cards I save them and send them back. So I get a Christmas card that says “To **don’t ask** ” store bought platitude etc “Love **picunurse** ”. Next year you get it back with “To **picunurse** ” store bought platitude etc “Love **don’t ask** ” with the original writing roughly crossed out. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/12 "2004-08-28T23:03:06Z")
> [@masonite](#): > > I think it was a bit terse, but what’s done is done. TERSE! _That’s_ the word I’ve been trying to think of! :smack: When I wrote “blunt” (in the OP) I _meant_ “terse.” I hate when I can’t think of the right word. Thanks! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lilacs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Lilacs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilacs)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/13 "2004-08-28T23:08:47Z")
**Misnomer** , I have the same problem with a few well-meaning people who don’t understand how insane it drives me. I’ve asked politely a few times with very little success. If someone took offense at it, I’d probably send them a note, “nothing personal, I just am getting too much stuff clogging my inbox.” If they still are too sensitive, heck, at least they won’t bug you anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/14 "2004-08-28T23:14:46Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > My reservation is along the lines of thinking that it might be slightly more polite (and effective) to send this individually to those who are forwarding nonsense, rather than to a list. The latter method tends to make people think you may be blaming them for the transgressions of others (which indeed you may be, if this to some extent was an angry respose to an e-mail forwarded by just one person on your list). Point taken, but I only sent it to those people who forward e-mails to me. I didn’t send it to everyone in my address book, just the ‘guilty’ ones. 😉 I was mad at only one person at the time, but it’s the cumulative effect of such e-mails that prompted the message: I’m just as sick of angels and teddy bears and ‘why women are better than men’ e-mails as I am the ones that actually insult me. > [@](#): > > _There’s also a degree of inconsistency in saying, in effect, “Here’s a broadcast e-mail noting my objection to receiving certain forms of broadcast e-mails.”_ Nah, I think an original e-mail sent to handful of recipients is different enough from a forwarded e-mail to avoid any charges of inconsistency or hypocrisy. Now, if someone were to forward my e-mail to people in _their_ address book, _that_ would be inconsistent. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@sj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sj2)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/15 "2004-08-29T01:39:56Z")
If you really want to be super-polite, you could create a new, free email account and say that all personal (useless crap) should be sent there. That’s what I did when I sick of my mom’s angel/prayer/patriotic/send this to 5 friends in the next 10 minutes (including me)…sent to my WORK account. I also have a personal account that they do not know about for the “real” mails. ---
**Author:** ![Elle\_Woods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bb73d2/32.png) [@Elle\_Woods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elle_Woods)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/16 "2004-08-29T04:58:50Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > There’s also a degree of inconsistency in saying, in effect, “Here’s a broadcast e-mail noting my objection to receiving certain forms of broadcast e-mails.” [Sideshow Bob] By the way, I’m aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don’t bother pointing that out. [/Sideshow Bob] ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/17 "2004-08-30T01:10:13Z")
> [@sj2](#): > > If you really want to be super-polite, you could create a new, free email account and say that all personal (useless crap) should be sent there. That’s what I did when I sick of my mom’s angel/prayer/patriotic/send this to 5 friends in the next 10 minutes (including me)…sent to my WORK account. I also have a personal account that they do not know about for the “real” mails. I ended up doing something similar – my old e-mail addy was getting so clogged with junk mail and forwarded glurge that I created a new e-mail account and only gave the address to a few family members who I knew wouldn’t abuse it. All the forwards and mass mails go to the old account, and the people who send them are none the wiser. I’ve occasionally replied to Urban Legend e-mails with subtle hints that the sender should research them first. For example, a good friend of mine who lives out of state sent me the warning about attackers hiding under parked cars and the one about hidden needles in gas pumps. In each case I wrote back something like, “that’s really sweet of you to worry about me, but it’s really not necessary. 🙂 [Snopes.com](http://Snopes.com) says these reports aren’t true.” She must have started reading Snopes, because I haven’t gotten one of those e-mails from her in years (and yes, she still speaks to me). ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/18 "2004-08-30T01:24:49Z")
I have had to write a few notes of this kind. I do always send them individually; I think it has always been in response to one particular person who had been annoying me recently. And I always include a line to the effect of, “Of course, I will always welcome personal messages from you.” But I don’t see anything wrong with being terse (but polite), as it helps convey the idea that You Are Serious about it. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/19 "2004-08-30T01:47:27Z")
LIke everyone else, I got them all, especially a few years ago when the PC boom really was at its peak and many people were new to the net and email. For the urban legend types, I would ‘reply all’ with a nice note saying something like, gee good thing it’s not true as they found on [snopes.com](http://snopes.com) and if you go there they have all sorts of interesting other things that aren’t true… Eventually those seemed to diminish. BUT, my (now Ex) mother-in-law would not only send every conceivable piece of crap she receieved, she would also send these ridiculously large attached and/or embedded pictures. At the time I was still on dial-up and using one email address for personal stuff and work stuff. I’d go to check my email to see if I’d received anything from work and would have to wait three and a half days for one of these emails to come through. And half the time she would send double emails cause she’d mess it up or hit the send button twice or who knows what. So then I would be waiting a week for the crap to download! (That might be a slight exaggertion) I had several times before nicely asked her to not send this stuff, explaining just what the problem was and how it was interfering with my work email, etc. Of course she continued to do it anyway until, after going through the waiting for yet another gigantic double email containing pure bullshit, I divorced her son. Well, not exactly. I shot her off this really rude email though, and that finally did the trick. _Then_ I divorced her son. The problem with being nice is that sometimes people just don’t hear you. The one thing I would say about your email that would have rubbed me the wrong way was the use of the phrase “effective immediately”. But then again, I wouldn’t have sent you any of that crap to begin with! ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-anything-wrong-with-this-e-mail/261954/20 "2004-08-30T03:02:51Z")
Wow, I didn’t expect to get so many thoughtful replies…thanks, everyone! 🙂 I agree with those of you who mentioned the “effective immediately” wording. I don’t think I’ve ever used that phrase in an e-mail before, actually, except when announcing a new e-mail address or IM name. And **Scarlett67** made me realize that I _totally_ should have included something like “Of course, I will always welcome personal messages from you.” :smack: Oh well. The consensus seems to be that my tone wasn’t _too_ bad, so hopefully that one family member will be the only one to get their knickers in a twist over it. If anyone else has a problem, they’re welcome to talk with me about it…otherwise, the heck with 'em. 😉