# Is there reverse racism or is it all just racist **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 29, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209 "2012-09-29T03:33:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/21 "2012-09-30T09:07:58Z")
> [@kocko67](#): > > she wishes I was less white … “I wish I had married a nice Chinese boy” even though they … have a proclivity to take mistresses. So tell her you’re trying to act more chinese, and are actively looking for a mistress – does that make her happy? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/22 "2012-09-30T15:52:51Z")
> [@simple\_homer](#): > > OP, if it makes you feel any better, my guess is that if she were married to a Chinese man she would probably be criticizing him and telling him that she should have married a foreigner that would treat her with kindness and respect. Indeed – if my Chinese wife and I argue, sometimes she pulls out the “if you were Chinese, you’d understand” card and I’m always tempted to email her Chinese ex-husband and ask whose side he’d be on. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/23 "2012-09-30T22:23:53Z")
She’s definitely racist and I don’t know why you would put up with it. ---
**Author:** ![Mileinnor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mileinnor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mileinnor)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/24 "2012-10-01T00:18:44Z")
I’m a Malaysian citizen, and to be honest, I have never heard of such sentiments. Blaming the white for ruining our country? Unless she’s well over in her fifties, I find that quite hard to believe. The current generation is more concerned about our corrupted government ruining our country. About the mistress part, unless the Chinese man is highly successful and filthy rich, no woman is ever going to be his mistress. Becoming a mistress of a man is considered extremely disgraceful here, because the women here can hold stable jobs as equal as the men. Why would you want to be a mistress if you are successful yourself? The concept of a woman being subservient to her man, at least for the Malaysian Chinese, are almost non-existent at this age. And the ‘only white people are racist’ part? That’s a lie. Every Malaysian knows that racism is rampant back home. Sigh, we all are racist to a certain extent. To answer your original question, not only your wife is a racist, but I think she’s also feeding you with false information to make you feel bad about yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/25 "2012-10-01T11:51:29Z")
Yeah but if she had married a nice Chinese boy, instead of koko67, she’d have koko40 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/26 "2012-10-01T16:59:44Z")
> [@simple\_homer](#): > > I agree, you need to call her bluff. > > Racism is racism. My god yes. More to the point, why did you marry her if she has racist views towards you?? Time for a long talk. Outside of the house. In the air. Room to move, stop, walk away… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/27 "2012-10-01T19:18:01Z")
> [@\_Olive](#): > > I use to call my late husband ‘white boy’. We both are white. I was usually making a point but it was never said in a mean way. He loved it and it always made him laugh. I call my SO my “lai-lai boy” (chinese boy) even though he’s really white in every way but skin! I also tell him jokingly he doesn’t need to buy any brown sugar, as he’s already got some. 😛 But the fact is anyone can be racist. My parents were pretty racist against white people. Hell, there are Indian/Punjabi songs about the poor Indian girl who was forced to marry a white “frog” (300 years of British rule, remember? it did happen) and now she is stuck with this feckless sop of a man, so the song says. And that doesn’t even count how racist we are to each other. You can’t know how many times I’ve heard that Gujratis are all X, Malyali are all Y, Punjabi are Z. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/28 "2012-10-01T19:58:57Z")
It all comes down to definitions. Anyone can be prejudiced. Anyone can be bigotted. But, according to some definitions (not necessarily “correct” ones) racism is prejudice with the \*power \*to do something about it. In fact, \*institutional racism \*can disadvantage a race without any actual prejudice (disenfranchising felons might have a more negative effect on a particular minority group, for example) Thus, in the U.S., black people can’t be racist, but can be prejudiced. Not saying I buy this, but I learned something along these lines in college several decades ago. Upon a wiki search, I see that the dictionaries basically equate racism with prejudice, and therefore, anyone can be a racist. > [@](#): > > The Oxford English Dictionary defines racism as the “belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races” and the expression of such prejudice,[18][19] while the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines it as a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority or inferiority of a particular racial group, and alternatively that it is also the prejudice based on such a belief.[20] The Macquarie Dictionary defines racism as: “the belief that human races have distinctive characteristics which determine their respective cultures, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule or dominate others.” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209/29 "2012-10-04T21:46:17Z")
Yes, there is such a thing as reverse racism. It’s when someone becomes racist because they have been discriminated against repeatedly by people of a certain racial or ethnic group. Perhaps a better name would be “responsive racism,” but that’s not the term in vogue. There just is a difference between you hating someone for the color of their skin and you hating someone because some people with the same color of skin hate you for your skin color. They’re both racism, but one is just a little more understandable, and deserves a bit more of a pass. And, as for your specific situation, I can’t help you much there. I agree that she’s just falling for the proverbial “the grass is always greener,” though. And I do believe that sort of talk is more acceptable in her culture than it is here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-reverse-racism-or-is-it-all-just-racist/636209.md?page=1)