# Is there room for Cybersex in a Healthy Marriage? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854 "2003-04-06T12:20:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/42 "2011-04-28T21:14:03Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I guess I fail in the “not wanting my girlfriend to have just come home from blowing some other dude” stipulation. I’m weird like that. And that’s why you wouldn’t be able to manage an open relationship. Some of us are cool with a “make sure you shower, brush and use mouthwash before coming near me if you go play around” rule. It’s not for everyone, as long as you’re happy it’s all good in my books. - TWTTWN ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/43 "2011-04-28T21:17:57Z")
> [@howye](#): > > Zombie cybersex with SPAM! We’ll, we’ve got egg and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; egg, spam, spam and brains; eggs, spam, spam, vaginas, brains, and spam spam, low-res vaginas, spam, spam, brains, spam, brains and spam, or the lovely lobster thermidor stuffed with spam and text penises, with a light spam, brains, and spam sauce, on a bed of brains, spam, spam, secondlife dates, spam, brains and pop-up ads for netflix. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/44 "2011-04-28T21:25:40Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > And that’s why you wouldn’t be able to manage an open relationship. Some of us are cool with a “make sure you shower, brush and use mouthwash before coming near me if you go play around” rule. It’s not for everyone, as long as you’re happy it’s all good in my books. > > - TWTTWN I don’t consider someone like that a “girlfriend”. That’s more like a booty call or at best a “friend with benefits”. If you want to sleep with other people, you don’t need to be in a “Relationship[sup]TM[/sup]”. ---
**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/45 "2011-04-28T21:28:29Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t consider someone like that a “girlfriend”. That’s more like a booty call or at best a “friend with benefits”. > > If you want to sleep with other people, you don’t need to be in a “Relationship[sup]TM[/sup]”. You’re very judgmental. Are you saying open marriages, committed swingers, etc aren’t real relationships? Is the OPs husband now just a friend with benefits at best because she’s had cybersex? - TWTTWN ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/46 "2011-04-29T09:40:57Z")
Well we don’t know now, the OP was 8 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/47 "2011-04-29T10:03:21Z")
hell to the nope. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/48 "2011-04-29T13:25:50Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t consider someone like that a “girlfriend”. That’s more like a booty call or at best a “friend with benefits”. > > If you want to sleep with other people, you don’t need to be in a “Relationship[sup]TM[/sup]”. There are lots of kinds of relationships. Just because it wouldn’t work for you, doesn’t make it any less valid. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/49 "2011-04-30T14:31:13Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > You’re very judgmental. Are you saying open marriages, committed swingers, etc aren’t real relationships? Is the OPs husband now just a friend with benefits at best because she’s had cybersex? > > - TWTTWN Um…yes? They are bizarre relationships. Why commit to a legally binding agreement to be with one person forever if you want to have sex with other people or if you’re willing to let the other person have sex with other people? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/50 "2011-04-30T15:04:32Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Um…yes? They are bizarre relationships. Why commit to a legally binding agreement to be with one person forever if you want to have sex with other people or if you’re willing to let the other person have sex with other people? Because there’s more to a marriage and wanting to be with someone than sex? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/51 "2011-04-30T16:12:32Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Because there’s more to a marriage and wanting to be with someone than sex? Bullshit. As Chris Rock says, a relationship is mostly having sex and eating together. If you don’t like having sex with a person and you don’t like having dinner together, you don’t need to be in a relationship with that person. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/52 "2011-04-30T16:16:16Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Bullshit. As Chris Rock says, a relationship is mostly having sex and eating together. If you don’t like having sex with a person and you don’t like having dinner together, you don’t need to be in a relationship with that person. I think I’ll not take marriage advice from Chris Rock. I pity anyone who does. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/53 "2011-05-01T14:29:14Z")
We should take the advice as it comes, and it seems like Rock was on the ball on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/54 "2011-05-01T15:17:41Z")
I don’t agree with his premise. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/55 "2011-05-01T21:42:38Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > We’ll, we’ve got egg and bacon; > egg and spam; > egg bacon and spam; > egg bacon sausage and spam; > egg, spam, spam and brains; > eggs, spam, spam, vaginas, brains, and spam > spam, low-res vaginas, spam, spam, brains, spam, brains and spam, > or the lovely lobster thermidor stuffed with spam and text penises, with a light spam, brains, and spam sauce, on a bed of brains, spam, spam, secondlife dates, spam, brains and pop-up ads for netflix. Where are the heart smileys!! Also, eight years ago, could you even GET low-res vaginas in a cybersex encounter? ---
**Author:** ![Chris32ny1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a8b319/32.png) [@Chris32ny1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chris32ny1)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/56 "2014-06-14T12:48:34Z")
My husband and I are frequently separated for months at a time. Having hot cybersex together is incredibly romantic and erotic. To watch as he gets hard for me, and wants to give me as much passion as he can is a mind blowing experience. I do all that I can to give him intense pleasure so he understands that he is the only one that I want to feel inside of me. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/57 "2014-06-14T15:29:19Z")
**Chris32ny1** , welcome to the message board. Please note that this is a very old thread and that the people in this thread may not be around to respond to your post. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/58 "2014-06-14T15:57:59Z")
double zombie or no any kind of desired sex play with someone you love is good. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/59 "2014-06-14T16:00:46Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > double zombie or no > > any kind of desired sex play with someone you love is good. I think the point you’re missing (as is the person who bumped this zombie thread) is that the OP, lo these many years ago, was going _elsewhere_ for the cybersex, then having sex with her husband. That’s kind of different from cybersexing with your husband, then having sex with said husband. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854/60 "2014-06-14T16:10:01Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > I think the point you’re missing (as is the person who bumped this zombie thread) is that the OP, lo these many years ago, was going _elsewhere_ for the cybersex, then having sex with her husband. That’s kind of different from cybersexing with your husband, then having sex with said husband. i didn’t miss it. i was responding to the bumpee. i do think i should of quoted the bumpee as a better procedure in addition to the zombie noting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-room-for-cybersex-in-a-healthy-marriage/166854.md?page=2)