Allan Sherman, “One Hippopotami”: “What’s half a pair of scissors? It’s a single scizz!”
Would a device with even more than two blades be the scissest?
Ouch.
It depends, it would certainly be scisserer than the common 2 blades variety, but only the one with the most scissors would truly be the scisserest
Those who die with the most scissorses win.
That doesn’t work. Clearly “scis” is a verb, and a pair of scissors is an object that scisses.
While we’re on music, At the Drive-In might have something to say about their topic with the song One Armed Scissor, although it is as abstract as most post-hardcore so it is unclear what it has to do with scissoring itself:
What is the sound of one scissor cutting?
snerk
Do you say tijera or tijeras in Argentina? In Spain they say both, but the Holy Dictionary of the Sacred Academy only includes the singular, the plural redirects to the singular. Same for pantalón and pantalones: both are common but only the singular gets included.
So at least in Spanish and German there is a singular scissor. French, on the other hand, if I understand it right, seems to be only plaural: les cisseaux.
Hehe yesterday I discussed this very thing with my wife, on WhatsApp because I was at the office, it run more or less like this:
Me: (Image of a scissor/scissors)
Me: Question: Is this a “tijera” or “tijeraS”?, I think both are correct.
Her: Both are correct, but only one is correct.
Me: (Image of blue screen of death)
Me: Does not compute.
Me: You CAN say “Alcanzame las tijeraS”.
Her: Not here, we are not in the Caribbean.
Me: Ok but I was talking about Spanish in general, not just Rioplatense Spanish.
Her: My worldview does not allow for other versions of Spanish other than Rioplatense, in any case they are harmful speech mutations
Me: “bueno pero como benignos dictadores del español (en virtud de tener mas estrellas en la camiseta que ningun otro pais hispanoparlante) creo que debemos registrar las variaciones barbaras y vulgarismos que se evidencian en la jerga de otros lugares menos iluminados”
(Ok, but as benign dictators of the Spanish language, (due to having more stars(1) in our national team shirt than any other spanish-speaking country) I believe that we should register the barbarous and vulgar variations evident in the lingo of other, less enlightened places).
All in all, it seems we don’t use “TijeraS” here, (and also it seems that in our house we can give the RAE a run for its money when it comes to arrogance 
)
(1) Stars in the shirt = number of world cups won, unless you are uruguayan, in which case olympic medals, mate consumption per capita and having less coups against the president seem to count too…
I like your generous use and interpretation of the word iluminado (enlightened).
Mmm, now that I think of it, I truly meant “enlightened” which perhaps is not the usual meaning in Spanish, creeping Anglicism! alert the Royal Academy!
Aaah! You meant ilustrado 
Don’t worry, the &#*?§!! Academy will never know. But you will admit iluminado was funnier. And perhaps truer.
Exactly, I didn’t even notice I was doing it, that’s cultural cross-contamination in action.