# Is there such a thing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575 "2000-05-04T17:18:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/1 "2000-05-04T17:18:44Z")
Is there such a thing as a person being too clean-cut? I ask because most of my friends think I am. It really bothers them. They think I am boring. Here’s the Straight Dope on me… I do **not** use illegal/recreational drugs. That includes marijuana. I do **not** smoke cigarettes. I do smoke cigars occasionally (one a week), but I am strongly considering giving that up. I do **not** “party.” (As in getting drunk, wild, high, etc.) When I drink, I quit when I feel a buzz coming on, as I hate being drunk. I don’t go beyond 2-3 mixed drinks, or 4-5 beers in a night out. I usually have one drinking night about every 2 weeks. That’s pretty tame. I wouldn’t even be drinking this often, if I were not going out with friends. I am **not** into having one-night stands. Depending on the person & situation, I probably would not turn a one-nighter down. I don’t go looking to instigate them, however. I do **not** have any tatoos, or piercings, and **never** will. I prefer to express myself in other ways, such as art and writing. That about sums it up. I want to add that if other people choose to do the things that I prefer NOT to do, that is their right. I don’t try impose my morals on others, however, I ask that THEY don’t try to persuade me into doing things they know I am against. I respect their choices, and they should respect mine. I try to lead by example, not by “preaching.” What this all boils down to is, I am comfortable with my choices, but most people get “turned-off” by my goody-two-shoes personality. As I said, I don’t tell them how **I** think they should live. Unfortunately, most of the people I meet, _are into_ the things that I am not. It doesn’t matter where/how I meet them, because I run into party-loving people 99% of the time. I very rarely find people who are as clean-cut as myself. I can mingle with people who have alternate lifestyles, but it also would be nice to hang with people who I have more in common with. **Where can I find/meet people who are more like myself?** Please, don’t say church. I am not against church/church activities, but all the people (in my age group) at my church are married with children and do not have time for hanging out with anyone else but their families. ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/2 "2000-05-04T17:32:36Z")
magic, you da’man! i wish there were more out there like you magic. except for my childhood mishaps leaving me with only tattoos to remind me of my days of drugs and parties, i am basically like you are now. i like it. i drink to the same degree you describe, i don’t use any drugs, quit smoking cigars (H. Upmans) and don’t even drink coffee. in fact, i don’t think thats boring at all, i find it allows me to enjoy life more now. i rock climb, take yoga, go dancing with my girlfriend on the weekends, play with the kids on the block in my hood and tutor them as well, and all in all, it’s feeling very good. you’re d’man! i said! 😃 just be yourself, you be you, and you’ll be happy. drop the attachments, and you may find yourself enlightened and enjoying life. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/3 "2000-05-04T17:34:35Z")
You sound like the sort that every woman wants. Looks like you may get a few offers from unattatched dopesses. Hold on tight! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/4 "2000-05-04T18:18:54Z")
Thanks for compliments, guys. _ **magic, you da’man! just be yourself, you be you, and you’ll be happy. drop the attachments, and you may find yourself enlightened and enjoying life.** _ I always am myself. If I tried to be something/someone else, I know I would be miserable and hate myself. If someone doesn’t like me for _ **me** _, then screw 'em. _**"You sound like the sort that every woman wants. Looks like you may get a few offers from unattatched dopesses."**_ 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lswote](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lswote/32/5737_2.png) [@lswote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lswote)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/5 "2000-05-04T18:31:53Z")
Magic, your description of yourself fits me too. Based on my personal experience, I think perhaps the reason you are having trouble finding others like yourself, is we are so rare that we never find anyone and die alone without having children so the other types continue on, but the clean-cuts die out. I think I am going to take up heroin just so I can get a date. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/6 "2000-05-04T19:19:11Z")
You all don’t sound that puritanical to me. 4-5 beers on a night out, and those nights are every two weeks or so? Cigars? Wouldn’t turn down a one-night stand? Hell, that sounds like just about everyone I hang out with. Sounds to me like it’s your friends that are the unusual ones…what are they, a bunch of alcoholic, coke addicted, tattoo-covered sex maniacs? 🙂 I don’t know how old you are, but I’m guessing that you just skipped all the normal college insanity (not necessarily the actual classes, but the rest of the crap) and skipped right to the regular adulthood that they’ll ease into when they hit 30 and realize that hangovers are no fun. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/7 "2000-05-04T19:26:25Z")
I would try to tell you where to meet other people, but I’m not sure where gay guys meet at. Im just kidding! …its a joke people! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/8 "2000-05-04T21:22:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > You all don’t sound that puritanical to me. 4-5 beers on a night out, and those nights are every two weeks or so? Cigars? Wouldn’t turn down a one-night stand? Hell, that sounds like just about everyone I hang out with. \*\* I never claimed to be “perfect” or a “purist.” I’m just a person who has personal preferences. By the way, C3, the number of drinks that I stated are my _maximum_, not my average. I often order soda or water, but my friends insist on buying me drinks. I don’t mind, because they do respect my alcohol limitations. I control how much I drink, not them. When I say I have had enough, it’s over. As for the sex part, get real. I haven’t had any in a hell of a long time. I am not gay, neuter, or hermaphroditic, so I desire some physical contact with the opposite sex once in awhile. As for the cigars, I already said I was seriously considering quitting. > [@](#): > > \*\* Sounds to me like it’s your friends that are the unusual ones…what are they, a bunch of alcoholic, coke addicted, tattoo-covered sex maniacs? 🙂 \*\* You aren’t too far off. Their drug of choice happens to be weed, which I will have nothing to do with the stuff. And yes they are tattoo loving people who like to have wild monkey sex as much as possible. Unfortunately, that is pretty common where I live. I’m in a college town. I live about 15 minutes from Notre Dame University, and about a dozen other colleges. Partying is this town’s middle name, not just because of the colleges, but because there isn’t much else here to do, generally speaking. I really need to move! > [@](#): > > \*\*I don’t know how old you are, but I’m guessing that you just skipped all the normal college insanity (not necessarily the actual classes, but the rest of the crap) and skipped right to the regular adulthood that they’ll ease into when they hit 30 and realize that hangovers are no fun. > \*\* I never went to college, and I happen to be 30 years old. I never have been one who liked to party. I have better ways for myself to have a good time. ---
**Author:** ![ATTGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@ATTGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ATTGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/9 "2000-05-04T21:51:41Z")
I suggest you try the Young Republicans or the Boy Scouts of America. Or maybe the Promise Keepers. ---
**Author:** ![spartacist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@spartacist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spartacist)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/10 "2000-05-04T23:45:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I suggest you try the Young Republicans or the Boy Scouts of America. Or maybe the Promise Keepers. > \*\* Hahahaha! Thanks ATTGuy, for the laugh. (Promise Keepers - haha!) ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/11 "2000-05-05T05:07:22Z")
Aren’t you the guy that needs a purse? ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/12 "2000-05-05T05:50:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Aren’t you the guy that needs a purse? > \*\* I’m the guy that has too many things to carry, and no where to put them. I am **not** Tinky Winky, the Teletubbie. Oh, the horror! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/13 "2000-05-05T06:19:51Z")
You should give weed a try, it’s good for you. Cigars yucko! I love hot monkey sex too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![learae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@learae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/learae)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/14 "2000-05-05T06:22:58Z")
Hi Magical Silver Key, I completely understand your problem. I have always felt like a goody two shoes…though my mind is often in the gutter. I rarely drink, and always quit when I start to ‘feel it’. I don’t do one night stands either, although I thought I did once. I met a guy I had gone to school with and hadn’t seen in over 25 years. One thing led to another, and it surprised me that I was able to… 😃 …(having had no experience like that before). I expected it to be a one time thing, especially since he lived 10 hrs away. But it has become a once in awhile thing instead…(and very enjoyable 😃 😃 ). I’m afraid that I don’t meet people because all I do is work (I work evenings, which complicates things) and I don’t party. It was a fluke the night that I went out and met the old classmate; and I doubt if lightening would strike twice in the same place. If you find the secret to meeting people, like us…clue me in, will you? I’m beginning to give up hope on finding a companion. (Not to mention a companion in my age group with a healthy sex drive, seems a lot of older men…have lost their umph! 😕 ) learae ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/15 "2000-05-06T16:38:21Z")
Well, I did it! (Or did not, depending on how you look at it.) I went out with my friends, last night, for the first time in three weeks. My friend, Jenny, just graduated from college and proceeded to get totally shitfaced to celebrate. Even _before_ she got plastered, she was getting really touchy-feely on me and flirtatious. We danced and she ended up giving me some major vampiral damage to my neck. (hickies, ugh!) After we all left the club, we went to a park where she kept begging for sex from me. **I did _not_ have sex with her.** My buddy, Jeff was trying to talk me into taking her up on her offer, as well, saying he would leave us alone. I didn’t want to, and I am glad that I didn’t. I also had the least to drink of all of us, as usual. 4 beers in about 6 hours (A) I refuse to take advantage of an intoxicated woman. (B) I can not/ will not, have sex with someone who is supposed to be my friend. Whatever amount of respect I have for myself and that person, would be lost if I did. (C) **I am indeed, a goody-two-shoes, and do you know what? I am damn proud of it!** 😃 I really need to try something new to meet the right kind of people. I have heard the following suggestions from friends I have online: volunteer organizations coffee houses book reading & creative writing clubs art classes church groups and functions _anywhere_ other than a bar, i.e. grocery store, mall, laundromat, etc. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/16 "2000-05-06T16:49:09Z")
**learae** I assume you are female, if so, you and I need to get together somehow 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/17 "2000-05-06T18:06:48Z")
MagicalSilverKey, I’m not sure why you even think that you are unusual. I have never smoked cigarettes or cigars, I only drink about one alcoholic drink per month, I don’t use drugs (except for trying marijuana once back in college), I never go to wild parties, I don’t have any tatoos or piercings, and I don’t have promiscuous sex. (Heck, I’m not getting any sex at all.) I think most of these things apply to most of my friends, relatives, and co-workers too, except that most of them are happily married. I’ve never been (or wanted to be) a Boy Scout, a Young Republican, or a Promise Keeper either. I think you need a new set of friends. Have you considered moving to another city and getting away from that crowd? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/18 "2000-05-06T18:37:41Z")
MSK, you don’t sound “_too_ clean-cut” to me at all. In fact, you sound pretty darn normal. Nothing wrong with that. Believe it or not, there _are_ women out there desperately seeking normal guys. Really. If I wasn’t already married with children, you’d be the kind of guy I’d look for. But you probably wouldn’t like my tattoo. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/19 "2000-05-06T21:25:18Z")
Judging from everyone’s responses, it seems my suspicions have been correct all the while. It is not I that am unusual, _it is this godforsaken pit of a town where I live!_ (Also, I honestly do need to find some better quality friends to hang with.) I am but a sheep in the valley of the wolves. South Bend and Mishawaka, Indiana - must be the white trash capitol of the midwest. I hate where I live, but unless I want to become homeless and eating other people’s garbage, I am stuck here indefinitely. Even if I had the resources to move, I don’t know where I would choose to live. Are there any single Dopesses who are willing to “relocate” me and get me out of this pit? 😉 Maybe I should auction my bachelorhood on Ebay 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575/20 "2000-05-06T21:45:15Z")
Why not travel to a few Straight Dope get-togethers, including some a long ways from your home? You’ll meet some new people and might find someplace where you’d like to live. Are you really so poor that you can’t move? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-there-such-a-thing/18575.md?page=2)