# Is "Third Base" Heavy Petting or Dry Humping? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823 "2000-08-10T13:08:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/61 "2000-11-04T07:09:49Z")
**On Deck** - Getting ready to make your move **In the Hole** - yumyum, its some butthole fun! (oh god, did I just say that?) _:::::running away…::::::_ ---
**Author:** ![Chronolicht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Chronolicht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronolicht)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/62 "2000-11-04T07:57:25Z")
First base: heavy tongue action. Second base: serious groping but clothed. Third base: Hoover manuever or pious and prostrate at the veal drapes. Fourth base: pooching, doinking, the love missile slams into tuna town. ---
**Author:** ![Gundhilde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecc23a/32.png) [@Gundhilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundhilde)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/63 "2000-11-05T16:22:00Z")
I’m surprised. I always thought it was: **First:** Frenching **Second:** Hand job/fingering **Third:** Oral **Fourth:** All the way I had no idea so many people included breast fondling as a clear-cut category! I just figured it was often somewhere between first and second. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/64 "2000-11-05T17:02:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by funneefarmer \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > > \*\* > > Funny. I thought they used to be the Watertown Indians… > > \*\* > > …Hijack > I’m surprised the Queens team hasn’t switched to a Mets affiliation yet. I sort of had the impression when they set up two teams for the NYC area that one would be Mets and the other Yanks but it has been awhile since I’ve heard much about it. > …End Hijack > > \*\* FF, ``` Team is affiliated, just hasn't changed names yet. They will when they relocate to Brooklyn. Probably simpler like that. Mets haven't pushed names, for years their AAA was Tidewater Tides (Va) ``` ---
**Author:** ![sirdiesel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@sirdiesel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirdiesel)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/65 "2000-11-06T04:09:54Z")
Personally, I think there should be a definition for a “Bill Buckner”. Anybody feeling creative? ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/66 "2000-11-06T08:26:13Z")
I have to agree with gundhilde. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/67 "2000-11-06T14:56:54Z")
So what would home-field advantage be? What about the 7th inning stretch? Would you be able to sing? And what about walks? I doubt the last thing the pitcher would do after slapping the batter would be to let 'em kiss. How do you incorporate all of the hands signals that go on between the dugout and everyone else? Would grabbing your balls actually mean that its time to grab someone’s balls? Or would that be a secret code for another move? Would you have to chew tobacco? Would spitting sunflower seed shells get you tossed out of the game? ---
**Author:** ![astraeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecb155/32.png) [@astraeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astraeus)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/68 "2000-11-06T17:42:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sirdiesel \* > Personally, I think there should be a definition for a “Bill Buckner”. Anybody feeling creative? I’d say that a Bill Buckner is when you’re in bed with the Prom Queen–or any woman you’ve wanted to take to bed for years and years. You’re done with foreplay, you’re about to start having some serious sex… …and then you ejaculate prematurely. -astraeus ---
**Author:** ![The\_Marquis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@The\_Marquis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Marquis)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/69 "2000-11-06T17:55:40Z")
but as long as we’re on this path please define the following: Split fingered Fastball Slider Extra innings head first slide seventh inning stretch This should be interesting. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/70 "2000-11-06T18:56:29Z")
In an episode of a sitcom (_Frasier_ ?) a couple of years back, they had an episode where a woman pretended to be a man-in-drag, by going into the men’s room and dumping a hidden balloon full of water into the urinal, in full view of the guy she was trying to fool. This woman then went out on a date with one of the man-she-was-fooling’s male friends. The fooled man was, of course, shocked by this turn of events. His friend was going out with a guy in drag, and didn’t know it! (Or so the fooled man thought). When the fooled man’s male friend got back from his date with the woman, the fooled man asked the following: “So, did you get to first base? And when you did, was there a man on third?” ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/71 "2000-11-06T22:20:41Z")
I hesitate to ask what a shortstop is. Or a relief pitcher. Or a designated hitter. Or an umpire. ---
**Author:** ![Saysha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Saysha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saysha)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/72 "2000-11-07T01:01:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*[Phil Rizutto mode] … Here he comes, squeeze play, it’s gonna be close, here’s the throw, here’s the play at the plate, holy cow, I think he’s gonna make it! [/Rizutto] > > \*\* “STOP RIGHT THERE! I need to know right now! Before we go any further- do you love me? Will you hold me forever? Do you need Me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life, will you take me away? Will you make me your wife?” Sorry, had to. Don’t even know if I got all the words right, but the thought was there. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/73 "2000-11-07T01:12:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\* > That was a lot of fun. > > first base: kissing > second: above waist fondling > third: below waist fondling > _homer: fucking_ > > \*\* Damn, don’t I wish! Italics mine. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Jigglypuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@Jigglypuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jigglypuff)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/74 "2000-11-07T06:02:40Z")
Pinch Hitter: Reaching in the nightstand for something battery powered. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/75 "2000-11-07T10:35:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darkfox \* > **8: (umm… how to put this delicately…ok, I guess you can’t) Dutch fucking. You know - breast fucking??** Delicate enough for me. But: **Dutch** fucking? Honestly? We, the Dutch, always refer to it as “Russian Style”! What gives? Anyone else familiar with the Russian terminology? And on a side note, how are breasts associated with the Dutch? Not that we mind 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Whiplash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@Whiplash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiplash)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/76 "2000-11-07T21:39:34Z")
Safe at Home - using birth control pills AND condoms Double Header - mutual oral gratification (69) Headfirst Slide into Third - use of cunnilingus as foreplay Extra Innings - what those of us over 40 have a hard time managing. On Deck - next in line during group sex. ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/77 "2000-11-07T23:34:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Darkfox \* > > **8: (umm… how to put this delicately…ok, I guess you can’t) Dutch fucking. You know - breast fucking??** > > Delicate enough for me. But: **Dutch** fucking? Honestly? We, the Dutch, always refer to it as “Russian Style”!\*\* I always heard this style referred to as the **Hawaiian Muscle Fuck**. I wonder, what gives with all the selective ethnic references to what must surely be a international phenomenon? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/78 "2000-11-08T02:12:13Z")
Can someone tell me what “dry humping” is, and what do you get out of it. I don’t believe I’ve ever engaged in that sort of activity. If it is like it sounds, remaining clothed and humping, my question is why bother. I’ve always been a “get your clothes off and _DANCE_ mister” kind of girl myself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Marquis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@The\_Marquis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Marquis)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/79 "2000-11-08T16:04:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > I’ve always been a “get your clothes off and _DANCE_ mister” kind of girl myself. 😃 \*\* Sounds to me like The Mermaid is just the prom date that I was looking for, lo those many years ago. ---
**Author:** ![sirdiesel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@sirdiesel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirdiesel)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823/80 "2000-11-13T21:57:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astraeus \* > [BI’d say that a Bill Buckner is when you’re in bed with the Prom Queen–or any woman you’ve wanted to take to bed for years and years. You’re done with foreplay, you’re about to start having some serious sex… > > …and then you ejaculate prematurely. > > -astraeus > \*\* Hahaha…beautiful. “I got it! My whole life has been leading up to this very moment! I will never desire anything else as long as I-” DOINK “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-third-base-heavy-petting-or-dry-humping/28823.md?page=5)