# Is this a bad thing to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 2, 2006, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922 "2006-07-02T06:10:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anise/32/21721_2.png) [@Anise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anise)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922/1 "2006-07-02T06:10:34Z")
So let’s say that a person broke up with her bf, because he was leaving to permanently move to Texas soon and was distancing himself from her rather than going through all the complications of dealing with a long-distance relationship, and didn’t want to feel responsible for her moving there to be with him. Now let’s say that this person, after breaking up with the bf, keeps having sex with him. And it’s exciting because it’s bad and naughty and wrong. Is this a bad thing to do? I don’t just mean in the sense that Sister Marie Clothilde from eighth grade would have meant it (and this person can just see her now!! In the full habit!!!) But is it bad psychologically for either or both parties involved? Is it going to end up having awful effects? Is this person doing the wrong thing? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922/2 "2006-07-02T06:22:35Z")
Not sure this qualifies as a “great question of our time”. Seems more MPSIMSish to me. That said, as long as the sex is consensual, I see no problem with it. Everybody invovled knows the deal, and apparently accepts it. More power to them. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922/3 "2006-07-02T06:25:57Z")
[Here’s an psychological essay on sex-with-your-ex .](http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=344) > [@](#): > > Consider asking yourself the following six questions: > > Will having sex with this person cause emotional pain? > Will my EX use the sexual experience to try and resurrect the relationship? > Will I be repeating the same patterns of the past with this person by opening up the sexual door? > Will I be betraying any promises to myself by allowing this person into my life again, if even in a sexual capacity? > How will having sex with my ex cause me to feel afterwards? > Are my motives purely physical, or is there something more? > Will having sex with this person help me create a sense of closure or a misguided sense of connection? > Am I having with the person because of repressed feelings of guilt for breaking off the relationship? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922/4 "2006-07-02T06:47:46Z")
ummmm…that’s more than six questions. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922/5 "2006-07-02T10:27:52Z")
Doesn’t sound like you broke up. Are either of you seeing anyone else? If not, I’m afraid the break-up isn’t fully baked yet. And there’s nothing wrong with it, per se. As long as it’s ok for the two of you, it’s ok. Is it dragging out the inevitable? Sure. But it’s not like THAT hasn’t been done before. ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-bad-thing-to-do/362922/6 "2006-07-02T11:49:29Z")
[QUOTE=Oakminster] ummmm…that’s more than six questions. [/QUOTE] Yup, it wasn’t just me. 😃