# Is this a date?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-date/297631>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [April 4, 2005, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-date/297631 "2005-04-04T07:21:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-date/297631/22 "2005-04-05T04:36:48Z")

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As a former girl, I vote against misery.

If you want to get to know her better, you need to spend time with her. I never liked dinner \*and \* a movie as a first date, but it does need to be a real date. Don’t go to a super-fancy restaurant, take her to one of your regular dinner places, some place you frequent. Let her get to know you, too.

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**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\
**Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-date/297631/23 "2005-04-05T05:26:02Z")

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Thanks, y’all. Some good advice here.

I’m really shy with asking girls out and also I just can’t stand the thought of putting a girl in the embarrassing position of having to reject my unwanted advances. I was recently on the receiving end of an unwanted advance and it was excruciating. I guess with the deliberate ambiguity on my part I am hoping that she will give me a more definite sign that it would be OK for me to ask her out. I realise thats pathetic. I already have some signs from her that could be interpreted (by someone more confident) as promising, so I am really just making excuses for myself.

I think the best advice is that I just ask her out on a date already. I know this girl enough to know that she likes me - as a friend, at least - and is nice enough not to make a big deal out of it if she didn’t want to accept. I think I’m more scared that she will say yes. ☹

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