# Is this a jerkish impulse? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510 "2010-10-08T16:38:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/41 "2010-10-10T17:12:29Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > I think the particular phrasing you used calls attention to her not including the uncles, while affecting not to. Passive-aggressive. Aslan would not approve. “Hard knocks or courteous words, and nothing in between.” > > So how would _you_ phrase it, in a non-passive aggressive way (though I disagree with you on that) using the exact same information? I wouldn’t mention the persons my sister was honoring, as that seems calculated to take her to task for omitting our uncles. Though actually I didn’t say anything at all. Partly because that’s not something I want to talk about on FB, and partly because even writing what I just explained above seemed like stirring up shit. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/42 "2010-10-10T18:16:09Z")
I"m not sure if I’d even call it slightly jerkish. I’d perhaps say it was a mistaken impulse. You don’t really know why she only mentioned the aunts, but yet your impulse was to assume …something…about why she’d not included the uncles. And that something irritated you, at least enough to spark a momentary desire to snark back at her. Which, as others have said, is a totally human impulse, and you didn’t, which shows you’re a nice guy. 🙂 If it were me, I might be curious enough to find out why the uncles weren’t mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/43 "2010-10-10T20:27:43Z")
First of all, there are men who get breast cancer. A male acquaintance of mine died from it. But I don’t think anyone’s being “jerkish” here. In spite of the official name of the event, any cancer is a horrible thing, and most types don’t have their own events. In a spirit of generosity and empathy, it’s entirely ok to include people with other cancers. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/44 "2010-10-11T20:51:38Z")
I’m all for breast cancer awareness, truly, but I still find it really interesting that the #1 killer of women is heart disease. By a wide margin. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/45 "2010-10-11T21:00:51Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > No, not at all, but then I’m one of those people who is absolutely sick of being made “aware” of breast cancer. No kidding. It drives me crazy that heart disease is given so little attention, even though, as **Snickers** notes, it’s the #1 killer of women. Plus, it presents so differently in women, you’d think there would be more advertising about warning signs particular to women vs. men. Anyway, no, I don’t see the impulse as jerkish. I mean, it’s a glaring omission - there’s no reason to feel like a jerk for wondering if she forgot about the three uncles who died of cancer, too. I’m getting tired of being asked to make Facebook declarations. I support breast cancer research, I support the GLBT community, I support people who eat squirrels on a stick… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/46 "2010-10-11T21:05:24Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > No kidding. It drives me crazy that heart disease is given so little attention, even though, as **Snickers** notes, it’s the #1 killer of women. Yah, but BOOBS. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510/47 "2010-10-11T23:22:45Z")
> [@Snickers](#): > > I’m all for breast cancer awareness, truly, but I still find it really interesting that the #1 killer of women is heart disease. Not according to _Criminal Minds_, _CSI:Inappropriate Cleavage_, and _Law & Order: Eliot Stabler Needs to Be Fired_. Are you calling American television a liar? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-jerkish-impulse/556510.md?page=2)