# Is this a true story? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2011, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000 "2011-11-15T12:44:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GovernmentMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9c0ed/32.png) [@GovernmentMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GovernmentMan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/1 "2011-11-15T12:44:23Z")
I just got an email from my uncle, who usually forwards all sorts of right-wing stuff > [@](#): > > A liberal ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx > > “Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!” > > At this moment, a brave Navy SEAL who had served 15 tours of duty stood up and held up a rock. > > “How old is this rock?” > > The professor smirked arrogantly and replied “4.6 billion years. Idiot” > > “Wrong. It’s 5,000 years old. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now” > > The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk. He stormed out of the room. > > The students applauded and all registered Republican that day. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. > > The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/2 "2011-11-15T12:48:20Z")
Are you serious? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/3 "2011-11-15T12:48:24Z")
Does it _look like_ a true story? ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/4 "2011-11-15T12:58:53Z")
That looks like a parody of “inspirational” right-wing stories. An eagle flew in and shed a tear, really? It appears to have gone over your uncle’s head, though. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/5 "2011-11-15T13:07:40Z")
How idiotic. I can’t believe anyone with a brain cell in their cranium could be so credulous as to not understand implicitly that this has not even a shred of truth to it. An eagle shedding a tear on a piece of chalk? GM, I have a very hard time buying that you have any doubt about the (utter lack of) veracity of this and I would like for you to be totally honest about your motivation for posting this. If you fail to provide an honest response, I would ask anyone reading this thread, mods especially, to consider what exactly is being perpetrated here. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/6 "2011-11-15T13:10:54Z")
[Nope.](https://www.google.com/search?q=A+liberal+ACLU+lawyer+professor+was+teaching+a+class+on+Karl+Marx++%22Before+the+class+begins%2C+you+must+get+on+your+knees+and+worship+Marx+and+accept+that+he+was+the+most+highly-evolved+being+the+world+has+ever+known!%22++At+this+moment%2C+a+brave+Navy+SEAL+who+had+served+15+tours+of+duty+stood+up+and+held+up+a+rock.++%22How+old+is+this+rock%3F%22++The+professor+smirked+arrogantly+and+replied+%224.6+billion+years.+Idiot%22++%22Wrong.+It%27s+5%2C000+years+old.+If+it+was+4.6+billion+years+old+and+evolution%2C+as+you+say%2C+is+real...+then+it+should+be+an+animal+now%22++The+professor+was+visibly+shaken%2C+and+dropped+his+chalk.+He+stormed+out+of+the+room.++The+students+applauded+and+all+registered+Republican+that+day.+An+eagle+flew+into+the+room+and+perched+atop+the+American+Flag+and+shed+a+tear+on+the+chalk.++The+professor+lost+his+tenure+and+was+fired+the+next+day.+&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a) What drivel. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/7 "2011-11-15T13:16:21Z")
I can’t even tell who it’s supposed to be attacking. I mean, ostensibly, it’s anti-evolution and anti-Marxism, but it’s such a stupid piece of drivel, surely nobody could take it seriously, so it must be a parody of what a really stupid right-wing person would say, mustn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/8 "2011-11-15T13:27:46Z")
Let us consider the reasonable possibilities: 1. GovernmentMan is a living avatar of Poe’s Law, and actually thinks this story is remotely plausible. In this case, his uncle should really be ashamed. 2. GovernmentMan is attempting to be provocative by pretending to not know how ridiculous the story is. 3. GovernmentMan is coyly bringing up this droll piece of subtle skewering, rather than coarsely saying “hey, check out this parody!” 4. Somehow, some way, this is going to involve hipsters. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/9 "2011-11-15T13:28:43Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I can’t even tell who it’s supposed to be attacking. I mean, ostensibly, it’s anti-evolution and anti-Marxism, but it’s such a stupid piece of drivel, surely nobody could take it seriously, so it must be a parody of what a really stupid right-wing person would say, mustn’t it? Who knows?! That’s part of the fun! I just reposted this to my Facebook page and my dad instantly messaged me to ask if my account had been hacked. Mission accomplished, I say! ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/10 "2011-11-15T14:10:56Z")
> [@GovernmentMan](#): > > Is this a true story? There have been one or two right-wing fantasies similar to it involving a pinko commie professor who gets what he deserves from a True American Patriot. This one is taking the piss out of them and doing it well, apparently. It had me going until the eagle cried. You should point your uncle toward Stephen Colbert as a real American and see what happens. > [@Mangetout](#): > > …it’s such a stupid piece of drivel, surely nobody could take it seriously… That’s the joke. Some people _are_ taking it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/11 "2011-11-15T14:19:38Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > This one is taking the piss out of them and doing it well, apparently. It had me going until the eagle cried. Come on! The second sentence already shows clearly that it’s a fake. > [@](#): > > “Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/12 "2011-11-15T14:20:43Z")
Obviously, it’s a parody. **GovernmentMan** , did you write it? It’s pretty good IMHO. In version 2, you might consider making the professor gay and die of AIDS. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/13 "2011-11-15T14:54:24Z")
I liked it, it made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/14 "2011-11-15T15:02:25Z")
“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!” This sounds like a Jack Chick line. ---
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/15 "2011-11-15T15:08:12Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > “Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!” > > This sounds like a Jack Chick line. Exactly. I immediately thought it was a variation of Chick’s _Big Daddy_ masterpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/16 "2011-11-15T15:09:56Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I can’t even tell who it’s supposed to be attacking. I assumed right wingers who would circulate this kind of anti-liberal glurge. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/17 "2011-11-15T15:17:33Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > That’s the joke. Some people _are_ taking it seriously. _the comedy is that it’s serious This is a strange enough new play on words_ -Jason Mraz ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/18 "2011-11-15T15:20:06Z")
[Charlie][Rock, Flag and Eagle!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lKoo8jJzYs)[/Charlie] ---
**Author:** ![drillrod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@drillrod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drillrod)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/19 "2011-11-15T17:18:17Z")
I’ve only read the OP and none of the responses, but I’m confused… why did the Navy SEAL have a rock in class? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000/20 "2011-11-15T17:26:45Z")
> [@drillrod](#): > > I’ve only read the OP and none of the responses, but I’m confused… why did the Navy SEAL have a rock in class? Are you tellin me you _don’t_ carry a rock around with you everywhere you go? What kinda librul commie atheist bastard are you anyway? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-a-true-story/603000.md?page=2)