# Is this anti-smoking commerical emotional terrorism? Why are people so freaked out? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153 "2009-04-06T18:38:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/81 "2009-04-09T16:44:07Z")
Re-reading the article, it SOUNDS like they were going to have the kid act the role - but that when mom walked away he actually got upset instead of acting upset: > [@](#): > > “Our intention was that he would act in that manner, but when it came down to it when the mum went away, he did get upset. I mean, they’re real tears.” So I THINK that they told the kid that mom would walk away, and that he should cry like he missed her. They then shot the scene, and kid was really crying and not acting and they kept filming. As for the effectiveness of the commercial - it got to me. I do not smoke, but I have other health issues. That bit is enough to get me to try to change a few things. I have two kids, so the images are pretty strong. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/82 "2009-04-09T17:18:35Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’m sorry for being judgmental. I was in an irritable mood at the time. I’ve certainly been there, done that with being at the end of my rope with a recalcitrant three-year-old. We’ve even used the “We’re going to leave without you” line, though we’ve never actually gone out their sights. I’ve been known to use some colorful language at times. Parenting is fucking hard. I shouldn’t be passing judgement on someone who’s doing their best. My apologies. It’s cool, apology accepted. I am comfortable with what we had done, so I didn’t take your comment badly. I half agree with you on the subject of needing to experience parenting to have a worthwhile opinion on it. I think some parts of parenting you do need to have experienced it before you really have any idea what you’re talking about, but on the other hand, we’ve all been children and many of us have been around children to some extent, so I don’t think it’s right to _automatically_ dismiss an opinion, just because the person is not a parent. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/83 "2009-04-09T17:47:02Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I used to mouth off some about parenting before I had kids. Now I know that I was an ignorant, babbling jackass. This thread is not about parenting per se (ie, how to raise a kid), it’s just about whether doing one particular thing to a kid is ok or not. Dio, in every thread you post in from now on, you’d be well-advised to first consider whether you have any personal experience on the subject matter. Otherwise, you’re likely to get this thread rubbed in your face. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/84 "2009-04-09T17:49:46Z")
Nope. That criterion doesn’t apply to _every_ experience, and I never said it did. It applies to a few unique experiences and being a parent is one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/85 "2009-04-09T18:28:38Z")
So now a memento mori counts as terrorism ? God… ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/86 "2009-04-09T18:56:14Z")
I agree that calling it “terrorism” is a little hysterical. I just think it was inappropriate and ethically questionable. It wasn’t _al Qaeda_-like. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/87 "2009-04-09T21:08:05Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I agree that calling it “terrorism” is a little hysterical. I just think it was inappropriate and ethically questionable. It wasn’t _al Qaeda_-like. This seems like the right balanced answer to me. The commercial is not “emotional terrorism.” People who think calling it emotional terrorism is over the top are not “heartless.” It seems wrong to manipulate a little kid to get a reaction for a camera. But not monstrous. ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/88 "2009-04-09T23:05:24Z")
If the commercial’s director manipulated the boy into crying by letting him believe he’d truly been abandoned by his mother, he should be horsewhipped because that’s simply not necessary. My youngest niece started acting and modelling as a toddler and when she was around five years old I chaperoned her during a three-episode arc of a TV show where she played a main character’s daughter. She had a scene where “Dad” had to tell her he was leaving her and her mother. She had no lines and was simply told to “look sad” by the director. The actor, however, spent some time with her explaining the emotion behind the scene. She rocked it; as the actor did his monologue her eyes filled with tears. The actor’s voice broke with sadness and her tears started flowing. When the director called “cut and _print_!” she knew she’d nailed it in one take and was beaming with pride. Kids (well, _some_ kids) can act without being traumatized. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/89 "2009-04-10T01:06:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’m not saying the experiences are similar, I’m saying that they’re both unique in that no other life experience provides a frame of reference for understanding them anyway but directly. _Obviously_ the only way to understand anything “directly” is to live it. And obviously that is in most cases – including parenting – the best, most authoritative basis for opinion. The idiocy is in saying that is the _only_ way to reach a valid opinion, such that no non-parent could possibly know what they are talking about. There is a vast gulf between “best” and “only.” In the case of parenting, “best” is inarguable; “only” is indefensible. > [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I used to mouth off some about parenting before I had kids. Now I know that I was an ignorant, babbling jackass. Yes, but consider that the lack of kids may not have been why. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/90 "2009-04-10T21:15:19Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Then you don’t know what you’re talking about. Full stop. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Raising kids is like going to war – if you haven’t done it, you need to keep your fucking mouth shut about it. It’s not that the issues are “difficult,” it’s that the experience is not understandable if you haven’t done it. I’ll listen to anybody who’s done it. I won’t give anyone the time of day who hasn’t. I understand what you’re saying here, **Dio** , but I have a hard time viewing it in the same black-and-white way that you do. My aunt died a lingering death (cancer) while she was a widowed mother. I can _guarantee_ you that her oldest daughter knew a lot about children just from having to take care of her little siblings while their mother couldn’t. Hell, I’ve seen parents who know less than a lot of the babysitters I’ve used. I will cheerfully admit that after having children, I found out just how ignorant I was about kids when I was single. I’m watching my daughter learn now that she has a child. But I won’t automatically dismiss the opinions of non-parents as you do. > [@Anaamika](#): > > Sorry. 🙂 I admit to having some prejudice against newspapers for various reasons. No sweat, **Mika**. I admit to owning a monthly alternative newspaper, so I just may have a bit of prejudice of my own 😉 > [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > The commercial is not “emotional terrorism.” > > People who think calling it emotional terrorism is over the top are not “heartless.” We do have this problem a lot. There have been threads where I’ve felt backed into a corner defending a position I didn’t even believe in just because people were drawing lines in the sand and labeling the extremes. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/91 "2009-04-10T21:24:53Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > I understand what you’re saying here, **Dio** , but I have a hard time viewing it in the same black-and-white way that you do. My aunt died a lingering death (cancer) while she was a widowed mother. I can _guarantee_ you that her oldest daughter knew a lot about children just from having to take care of her little siblings while their mother couldn’t. Hell, I’ve seen parents who know less than a lot of the babysitters I’ve used. I am, obviously, not Dio, as he is smarter but I am prettier.\* But I didn’t take what he wrote upthread as talking about **biological** parenthood, but rather taking responsibility for a child in a direct and primary way. (Doesn’t DtC have adopted as well as biological children?) Doing so causes enormous shifts in POV that the childless (and by that I mean “people who haven’t raised children,” not “people who have never reproduced biologically”) cannot conceive of. \*Admittedly I have little evidence for the latter clause, but I still believe it as I am also egotistical. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/92 "2009-04-10T21:42:18Z")
Yes, by “parenting,” I mean being a primary caretaker, not necessarily biologically reproducing them. Obviously, you can do one without doing the other. All my kids are biologically mine, **Skald** , but I know there are others on the board who have adopted children (I believe **tomndebb** and **Shodan** both do, for instance), so maybe you mixed them up with someone else. I don’t consider adoptive parents or other primary caretakers to be less of a parent than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/93 "2009-04-10T21:44:36Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Yes, by “parenting,” I mean being a primary caretaker, not necessarily biologically reproducing them. Obviously, you can do one without doing the other. > > All my kids are biologically mine, **Skald** , but I know there are others on the board who have adopted children (I believe **tomndebb** and **Shodan** both do, for instance), so maybe you mixed them up with someone else. I don’t consider adoptive parents or other primary caretakers to be less of a parent than I am. It was **Shodan** I was thinking of. Mixing up you and him probably means I need another coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/94 "2009-04-10T23:05:00Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Nope. That criterion doesn’t apply to _every_ experience, and I never said it did. It applies to a few unique experiences and being a parent is one of them. The problem with this line of reasoning is that you don’t recognise if something requires direct experience for adequate understanding until you’ve experienced it. I suspect that before you were a parent you might not have included parenting as something needs to be experienced to be understood, but you probably acknowledged that this type of subject existed. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/95 "2009-04-10T23:15:20Z")
ALl of you who have no problem with it I just have to ask, “Were you ever four years old?” Because I was and unless you have been four years old, you cannot know what you are talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/96 "2009-04-11T00:15:55Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > ALl of you who have no problem with it I just have to ask, “Were you ever four years old?” Because I was and unless you have been four years old, you cannot know what you are talking about. It appears that I wasn’t. My mother said I was six feet tall and 200 pounds when I was born, and she never forgave me for it. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153/97 "2009-04-11T00:55:53Z")
Oh, it’s much worse than that commerical with the girl picking flower petals, and the bomb going off. :rolleyes: That’s what you’d call “emotional terrorism”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-anti-smoking-commerical-emotional-terrorism-why-are-people-so-freaked-out/492153.md?page=4)