# Is this bragging? Or something else? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 19, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625 "2003-01-19T12:23:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/1 "2003-01-19T12:23:12Z")
I have a friend who is very accomplished in many ways, but is not what I would consider arrogant or prone to bragging. At least, not when it comes to herself. But not infrequently, she will work into conversation the accomplishments of her friends and acquaintances, for what reason I know not. Rather than saying, “I know a guy with the same problem,” she’ll say, “I know a guy who won two ballroom dancing championships and studied in Greece for two years (etc.). He had the same problem.” Like I said, I don’t know why she does this, as it’s certainly not information I’m likely to retain or care about, but my first thought was that she’s trying to impress me; I guess though she could just be proud of the people she knows. Thinking back, I realized today that she is not the first person I have known to do this; she is at least the _third_. So here’s what I want to know. Does anyone else know people like this? Does anyone know why people do this? Am I the one who’s abnormal for being taken aback by this? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/2 "2003-01-19T13:04:56Z")
Maybe it’s just how she thinks of that person. She knows Jim as `the guy who went caving in Borneo and speaks fluent Tamil,’ so that spills out into her conversations whenever she references someone she knows. But it _is_ odd. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/3 "2003-01-19T13:21:21Z")
Sounds to me a little like a self-esteem problem. She’s using her relationship with accomplished people to re-affirm her sense of worth. My friend Scott, who had sex with Brittany Spears once, does this all the time. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/4 "2003-01-19T14:50:28Z")
I don’t know enough about the situation to make a really good guess, but maybe she’s trying to put the person with a problem at ease? If she’s socially awkward, maybe this is her way of implying, “look, the smartest, most talented people I know have had problems like this, so don’t feel to badly about it”. Just my WAG ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/5 "2003-01-19T17:23:13Z")
No, I refuse to make this kind of friends. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/6 "2003-01-19T17:28:13Z")
My contact with a “friend” like this is really diminishing. The friend always must work in something about someone’s net worth. I don’t know the people being discussed. It is boorish. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/7 "2003-01-19T18:51:43Z")
My mother is the world’s greatest name-dropper. Mention anyone, no matter how obscure, and she knows someone who knows them, or knows someone like them, or knows someone who once watched a movie in which their hairdresser’s cousin appeared. My favorite moment – we’re at a dinner, and one of the guys is wearing a Jerry Garcia tie. My Mom oh so casually says to him, “Is that a Jerry Garcia tie? You know, I sat next to him at dinner once.” Sometimes it’s fun to mention a well-known person and see how long it takes her to come up with a connection. It doesn’t even have to be a well-known person. Me: “I have a gynecologist appointment” Mom: “You know, one of Dad’s colleagues has a daughter who is a gynecologist in San Francisco – at least I think she’s a gynecologist.” And yes, I do think that she does this because she feels that it increases _her_ worth in some way. “Look how important I am, I know all these important people – sort of.” ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/8 "2003-01-19T19:15:53Z")
I vote for something else. Namely, annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/9 "2003-01-20T02:17:47Z")
Well, if what she says is akin to, “I have a friend with a PhD in mathematics and he can’t balance his checkbook either”, then perhaps it is relevant to the conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Siemsi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Siemsi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siemsi)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/10 "2003-01-20T13:08:30Z")
Gosh I can’t stand people like that…sounds like insecurity to me- The fact that she has to mention great accomplishments of others. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/11 "2003-01-20T13:31:38Z")
Mea culpa! Mea culpa! I am just the type of person described. I have several reasons – none of them good enough. I thought that I had worked through my self-esteem problems, but apparently, I haven’t and I’m getting pretty old. Besides, unless I talk about my wild and mysterious past, my life is quite ordinary. But I would have to cover the grandchildren’s ears to go into all of that. Actually, I’m just posting this to let you know that one of my sister’s friends had billing over Ashley Judd in \*Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood" and that the Senate Majority Leader and I have a common friend. 😃 Mission accomplished! I think that some of us find it interesting to hear about other people’s stories of brushes with celebrities and we assume that others are the same way. WRONG!!! I will try to reform. I don’t want to bore you with details like how my cousin knew Princess Diana. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/12 "2003-01-20T18:37:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoe \* > \*\*Actually, I’m just posting this to let you know that one of my sister’s friends had billing over Ashley Judd in \*Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood" \*and that the Senate Majority Leader and I have a common friend. 😃 … I don’t want to bore you with details like how my cousin knew Princess Diana. \*\* \*\* Zoe\*\*, I’m _so_ impressed! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jellen92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@jellen92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellen92)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/13 "2003-01-20T18:39:08Z")
I have friend like this… he’s _always_ dropping names and saying it loud so others that are around can hear. I HATE this with a passion. He once spotted Matthew McConaghey at a football game and claimed to have “been his bodyguard” for the day… simply because he happened to be standing behind him. He claims to know all these people that I coudn’t give a shit about… and regails me with stories of how he knows them or knows of them. Geez, I’m SO impressed you know the guy who poses on the front of a romance novel. He is a good guy, but seriously insecure. He thinks people will think he’s “cool” by knowing all these people! Very twisted theory if you ask me, and everyone sees right through it. ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/14 "2003-01-21T01:35:31Z")
I don’t know. I was talking with James Earl Jones and Derek Jeter the other day; we were at Barbra Streisand’s country home, you know; and anyway, THEY said it was just fine… ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/15 "2003-01-21T04:41:49Z")
My mother-in-law does this, and I don’t believe it’s for reasons suggested so far. In some cases, I think she finds the information interesting and figures others will also. In other cases, I think she admires her friends and wants to speak highly of them. I see it as a characteristic of her way of speaking. I don’t see it as a sign that she’s lacking any self-esteem. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/16 "2003-01-21T07:17:26Z")
Wow, thanks for the many and various responses, all! I guess that this kind of practice is found in several different kinds of people. As for my friend specifically, I would call it name-dropping, except that these aren’t famous people she’s mentioning. Rather, it’s not like she’s acting that celebrities are people she knows; she’s acting like people she knows are celebrities. If that makes any sense. I don’t think she has an insecurity problem, and she is not, in general, trying to make anyone feel better about themselves - that quote in the OP is just an example; it doesn’t only come up when someone has a problem. I think that maybe she does in fact just think of people this way, as **Derleth** says. But she goes into _way_ too much detail for it to be _only_ that. The way she talks about it, she knows a _lot_ of very smart, very talented people. Gee, now I wonder if she uses _me_ the same way when talking to others! I don’t know if that’s good or bad. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-bragging-or-something-else/149625/17 "2003-01-21T11:51:56Z")
Why bother? I wouldn’t tell you about my friend who’s working on IBM’s Siebel, another friend is a professor in Computer Science, and another one was in the Barry Crane 5000, and so on… 😉