# Is this customer an asshole? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 5, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855 "2011-05-05T17:15:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/1 "2011-05-05T17:15:46Z")
From another thread in Cafe. Simple question. Do you think this individual sounds like an asshole customer or a reasonable customer as he describes his own encounter? I’m not asking if he was justified in being unhappy with his food and sending it back. I’m only asking if the way he dealt with the staff was assholish. > [@](#): > > We went once for my birthday (in Knoxville, TN). I wasn’t too impressed - my wife ordered 3 items, every single one of them was wrong: > > 1. Steak, no butter on top. Got the butter. Returned. > 2. Broccoli. Got the spinach casserole. Returned. > 3. Something else that they screwed up and we had to return. > > I contacted the manager and said that for $150 I expected at least the same amount of competency as when I order a Big Mac with no pickles at the drive-through. Her food was comped. > > And yes, being constantly interrupted by people (not just my waiter, but by anybody who happened to pass by our table) was irritating. After the third thing was returned, I started snapping at them - “No, it’s NOT OK. As I told the previous 300 people who asked me this, y’all messed up our order. Constantly asking us if our meal is fine is merely driving it home that it was not.” > > After a while, they stopped bothering us. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/2 "2011-05-05T17:22:16Z")
Maybe not the nicest way to handle it - but the recurring screw-ups warranted the comments. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/3 "2011-05-05T17:23:45Z")
I don’t think he was an asshole, because if they hadn’t been so incompetent, he wouldn’t have snapped at them. In other words, they started it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/4 "2011-05-05T17:26:10Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > From another thread in Cafe. > > Simple question. Do you think this individual sounds like an asshole customer or a reasonable customer as he describes his own encounter? > > I’m not asking if he was justified in being unhappy with his food and sending it back. I’m only asking if the way he dealt with the staff was assholish. It sounds like the guy really lost his cool, which isn’t my style at all… but it sounded like a really bad night too. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/5 "2011-05-05T17:27:41Z")
Under no circumstances would I resort to snark if I was unhappy with my food, the service, or both. I simply wouldn’t return. I vote asshole. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/6 "2011-05-05T17:31:57Z")
For $150, I would have expected superior service and for everything to be perfect. I don’t think it was unreasonable for him to lose his cool. From the price of the meal, I guess this is a very upscale type of restaurant. Certainly a far cry from TGIF or Chili’s. Not that assholery is ever justified, but I think his level of dissatisfaction and how forcefully he expressed it wasn’t inappropriate for the situation. And on your birthday, especially, you want everything to be perfect. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/7 "2011-05-05T17:32:20Z")
I was in agreement with the quote when when I read it in the other thread. What does one get from a high-end restaurant if the food isn’t right and the service sucks? What the hell are they selling there? If McDonalds screws up my $5 order I can take it back and they will correct it. If they charged 10 times as much for their food I wouldn’t expect worse sevice. ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/8 "2011-05-05T17:32:25Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > Under no circumstances would I resort to snark if I was unhappy with my food, the service, or both. I simply wouldn’t return. > > I vote asshole. I agree with this. He’s not an asshole for returning food; those are serious mistakes that need to be corrected. But the way he talked to the manager (If he talked to the manager like that, not ‘this is what I wanted to say’) was inappropriate and immature. So not a Maybe, but not a full blown asshole. like a 4.5 on a scale of 1-10, because, after all, their incompetence did kinda make him see red. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/9 "2011-05-05T17:33:38Z")
I voted maybe. Being asked by a zillion people if everything is OK can get irritating even if it’s all lovely, so I really wouldn’t blame him if that started being more than he could take. I’m not sure I would have responded quite the same way, but I would have considered something like, “It’s not ok at all; could you let the rest of the staff know to just leave us alone?” And seriously, everything in her meal got screwed up?! WTF. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/10 "2011-05-05T17:35:54Z")
I voted maybe, meaning that he was a bit of an asshole, but I understand his frustration. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/11 "2011-05-05T17:42:37Z")
I said maybe, as the person in question was certainly more snarky than I would have been in the same situation. Yeah, it was a series of mistakes, but they were (apparently) quickly corrected, and I’m sorry, no butter on one’s steak is not the end of the freakin’ world. If the staff had basically blown them off I’d be more sympathetic, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. OTOH, I too tend to get annoyed with being interrupted by waitstaff who are clearly instructed to show their ‘interest’ by asking how things are every 3 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/12 "2011-05-05T17:45:22Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > Maybe not the nicest way to handle it - but the recurring screw-ups warranted the comments. Not just the recurring screwups, but the fact that I was asked every 1.5 minutes how the meal was. How does one carry on a conversation while being interrupted every 90 seconds? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/13 "2011-05-05T17:46:41Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > I said maybe, as the person in question was certainly more snarky than I would have been in the same situation. Yeah, it was a series of mistakes, but they were (apparently) quickly corrected, and I’m sorry, no butter on one’s steak is not the end of the freakin’ world. It is if you’re my wife. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/14 "2011-05-05T17:46:45Z")
I say yes. Here’s why: Even though the service may have been sub-par, and the restaurant messed up the order, that doesn’t give him license to be an ass about it. He could just have easily been gracious about the whole thing, spoken to the manager in private, and probably would have been comped on the whole thing, or at least a large part. No, instead, he plays white trash jerk from the suburbs, who pitches a fit and gets indignant at a chain steak place, because it’s not exactly to his liking. I have news for him: 1. It’s a chain. 2. $150 isn’t all that expensive for a fine meal. It may be to you, but there’s a long way up from Ruth’s Chris, and pitching a fit just points out your own lack of class and manners. ---
**Author:** ![colonial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/15 "2011-05-05T17:56:40Z")
I voted no, not an asshole. It is reasonable to be a bit waspish after three mistakes on the food and intrusive behavior afterward. ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/16 "2011-05-05T17:57:31Z")
Service in these parts tends to be anywhere from adequate to piss poor, so I have a fairly high threshold for incompetence. However, if I was in similar circumstances, I would be getting progressively more agitated all evening long as irritation after irritation piled up. My quiet nature would probably preclude me from going off on the staff or the manager, but the tip would almost certainly be non-existent and they wouldn’t get my future business either. I’d say the response might have been a tad over the top, but I wouldn’t call it assholish. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/17 "2011-05-05T18:01:04Z")
BTW, I voted “yes”. Cause I can be an asshole. And it was an assholish (sp?) comment. And I felt like an asshole saying it. As one who doesn’t like to spend money at all, a $150 meal is something that I would expect to be fulfilled at least as competently as an order at McDonald’s. The appetizer was sent back. My wife’s steak was sent back. Her side was sent back. Two items completely not what we ordered, one prepared incorrectly. For $150 I expect better, and if their method of service is to constantly ask the customer if everything is fine, and it isn’t, then they should expect some snappishness by about the 10th time the question is asked. Don’t know what living in the suburbs has to do with it, but since it apparently explains everything to **Bump** , that’s cool too. After all, I’m quite positive that nobody living in Manhattan or Tokyo or whatever downtown one has in their mind’s eye would _ever_ complain about a meal where 42% of the items ordered are flat out wrong. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![inkling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkling)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/18 "2011-05-05T18:01:44Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > OTOH, I too tend to get annoyed with being interrupted by waitstaff who are clearly instructed to show their ‘interest’ by asking how things are every 3 minutes. It’s symptomatic of customer service by following scripts. Real, actual customer service is a pretty difficult skill to learn - at least the kind of service where the customer’s needs are met seamlessly and nearly telepathically. Having eaten in a couple of restaurants with that level of service, it’s truly beautiful when it happens. A really good waiter can remain practically invisible, yet know when glasses need to be filled, when there is a question or request, etc. Corporate chains can’t provide that, though, so they settle for mechanical interactions and metrics. “A good waiter is aware of the client’s needs, so therefore we will ask at least three times each hour how things are and if anything is needed.” It’s a terrible shortcut in thinking, and it’s really the exact opposite of service. So - to the original question. That kind of mechanical attention rather than service really drives me bananas, so I have to say I sympathize completely with the frustration that drove the interaction. I might do much the same. But I would feel like an asshole as I was doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/19 "2011-05-05T18:07:48Z")
Not an asshole. I don’t see anything he said was abusive or over the top. He planned a nice evening and was prepared to spend the money that should deliver it. The restaurant screwed up repeatedly, and then didn’t handle it properly afterward, although they were clearly trying to do the right thing. There’s a difference between being upset and being an asshole, and this didn’t cross the line. ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855/20 "2011-05-05T18:09:17Z")
Voted “no.” If the staff’s going to fuck up that much and be that disruptive they need to grow a pair and not be surprised when customers get pissed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-customer-an-asshole/580855.md?page=2)