# Is this ebayer being unreasonable? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 30, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223 "2006-01-30T17:02:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/1 "2006-01-30T17:02:53Z")
I posted an auction on ebay a few weeks ago for a “computer components grab bag”, including an older 800 Mhz CPU. Now, I _did_ accidentally post the wrong photo with the auction (I had two grab bags up at the same time, and not being technical at all myself, mixed up the photos). This customer won one of the grab bags for 99c plus $4.98 S&H. He claims that the processor is too old to do him any good. I offered to refund his money. He said he doesn’t want a refund, he wants what he paid for. I don’t have a better processor to send him. Then he said that instead of a refund, he’d take the new DeWalt saw blade I had up for auction. I told him he could keep the grab bag, and I’d send him the saw blade if he’d pay shipping on it. He says he shouldn’t have to pay shipping on the saw blade because he already paid shipping on the “other crap” I sold him. So I told him my offer of a refund still stands. He said No, because then he’d have to pay to “ship the crap back”. I told him he doesn _not_ have to ship it back. I’ll just give him his money back and he can keep the components. He says obviously I’m not interested in making him satisfied, and he will have to leave negative feedback. He sent me three emails yesterday, one of which I answered in the morning, and didn’t answer the other two until last night because I was busy. He got angry about that, too. He said if I was going to be gone all day, I should have told him that. I realize my view of the situation is colored by the fact that I’m the seller, so I’m looking for more neutral views. Is this guy being unreasonable? Should I be willing to send him a $20.00 saw blade and pay the shipping on it? I guess if enough of you think this would be a reasonable resolution, I’ll do it. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/2 "2006-01-30T17:08:45Z")
Anytime someone is unsatisfied with an auctuion, but then says a complete refund of all the money he paid (_and_ he gets to keep what he won?) is being COMPLETLY unreasonable. He’c clearly just a jerk who does whatever it takes to get his way. I’m sure even if he could use the CPU, he woudl have said everything was damaged in shipping, and he wants a complete refund, and some new saw baldes, and a blow job, and your first boron son. Otherwise he;ll leave negative feedback. What’s your feedback at right now? It’s it’s above twenty, then one negative feedback won’t realyl matter. I say refund his money and let him go have a hissy fit. Check the feedback on him and see if there are a lot of neutral of negative, that might give you as hint as to how he operates. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/3 "2006-01-30T17:10:34Z")
My advice is to refund the purchase price + S/H, and let him keep the stuff. If he leaves you negative feedback, I think you can post your own comments along with his, explaining what a dick the guy was/is. I would NOT send him the saw blade! ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/4 "2006-01-30T17:11:36Z")
I believe the buyer is being unreasonable and is likely testing the limits of your generosity. I would definately not give him the sawblade. Personally I wouldn’t offer a refund, if somebody bids on a betting item like that, they should be aware of the risks. I definately wouldn’t give him the sawblade, and certainly wouldn’t even refund shipping costs. People are too spoiled by this new philosophy of the customer is always right and if you complain the business or service should bend over backwards to do anything and everything you so desire. Pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/5 "2006-01-30T17:16:40Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > What’s your feedback at right now? It’s it’s above twenty, then one negative feedback won’t realyl matter. Well, I’m pretty new to ebay, and only have ten feedbacks. They are, however, all positive. I checked his feedback, and while they’re mostly positive, there was a negative in there because apparently he had a hissy fit about shipping being slow, when the item was shipped in a timely matter but the post office was slow. I just checked my email and there was _another_ one from him saying “Why can’t you just send me my CPU??” Duh. I don’t _have_ a better CPU. I told him so in my reply and said I’d buy a money order today and put it in the mail tomorrow. I bet he won’t like that, either. I am refunding the shipping, but if he leaves me negative feedback, I’ll respond in full. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/6 "2006-01-30T17:19:15Z")
Refund him, and take the negative feedback on the chin. As others have said, he’s clearly just seeing how far he can push you and how much he can get out of this. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/7 "2006-01-30T17:22:24Z")
Well, since you did misrepresent the processor with a wrong photo, I can see why he’s want a refund. But you are offering that and more. He’s an ass. If he leaves you a negative comment, fight it. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/8 "2006-01-30T17:24:20Z")
You know those signs that say “We reserve the right to refuse service”? There isn’t one of those at ebay. You have to take the crooks and the nuts, no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/9 "2006-01-30T17:27:59Z")
I just checked up on him, and out of 21 feedbacks he left for sellers, _four_ of them were negative. That tells me right there that he’s just hard to please, and probably out to see what he can get with a bad attitude. > [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Well, since you did misrepresent the processor with a wrong photo, I can see why he’s want a refund. But you are offering that and more. I certainly understand why he wants a refund, and don’t have any problem giving him one. I just wish he didn’t feel the need to be such a dick about it. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/10 "2006-01-30T18:36:53Z")
You goofed with the pic, giving him an out. However, once he turned down the refund, any problem here falls entirely on his shoulders. > [@bouv](#): > > …and your first boron son. Well, no huge loss, if he’s truly a boron. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/11 "2006-01-30T18:57:07Z")
Refund the money (including shipping). If he gives you a negative feedback, reply that you refunded the money (including shipping) and let him keep the items before he posted feedback. That way, anyone reading the feedback will draw their own conclusion: that he’s the one being a jerk, not you. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/12 "2006-01-30T19:15:06Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Refund the money (including shipping). If he gives you a negative feedback, reply that you refunded the money (including shipping) and let him keep the items before he posted feedback. That way, anyone reading the feedback will draw their own conclusion: that he’s the one being a jerk, not you. I mailed him a money order today for $6.98. The cost of the auction, including shipping. He filed a complaint about me, stating that the item he received was “significantly different than represented”. I made a post to that claim that I refunded his money and he is free to keept the items. If he posts negative feedback, I’ll do exactly as you suggest. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/13 "2006-01-30T20:27:51Z")
Any customer efuing a FULL REFUND + Keep the damn stuff deal is a nutcase. :rolleyes: However, if he does NEG you, there is two other alternatives: 1. Go to Square trade and they can remove both NEGs ( I am assuming in this case that you are going to NEG him) 2. Drop your current sellers ID and start over. Really. You only have 10FB, and that NEG will stay on your record FOREVER. True- anyone bothering to read the story will likely give you the nod- but not everyone reads the story, especially if the NEG is a year or so old. I suggest either. I strongly suggest _not_ “just living with the NEG”. Not with a 10FB, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/14 "2006-01-30T23:13:48Z")
Assholes abound. You’ve run into one. Now that you’ve refunded his money, ignore him. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/15 "2006-01-30T23:35:32Z")
Well, I posted on ebay, on the dispute page he opened on my behalf, that I sent him a money order, refunding the purchase price, the shipping, _and_ he was free to keep the items. A little while later, I got an email from ebay saying the dispute page had been closed by the customer, with a note that the dispute had been satisfactorily settled. I guess he’d look pretty silly leaving me a negative feedback after that. I haven’t gotten any more emails from him, but if I do, I’ll ignore them as **PunditLisa** suggested. Also, I didn’t apologize again in any of my emails today. I was courteous, but feel that I’ve apologized enough. ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/16 "2006-01-30T23:47:18Z")
I’ve never bought or sold anything on eBay, but for what it’s worth I think the buyer is definitely being unreasonable (and that’s putting it mildly). You offered to give him a full refund _and_ let him keep the items. What more does he want? (Yeah, a sawblade, I know. Glad you didn’t give it to him.) Is the buyer located in New Hampshire by any chance? This sounds like the kind of crap my uncle likes to pull. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/17 "2006-01-30T23:54:41Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Drop your current sellers ID and start over. Really. You only have 10FB, and that NEG will stay on your record FOREVER. A suggestion, start a 2nd anyway - try to get the FB’s up on both, just incase someone trashes you, you will not be totally SOL. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/18 "2006-01-31T00:11:37Z")
I had one of those nightmare customers once. I sold him a “mint on card” (unopened) action figure, and he complained because the card was (gasp!) DUSTY! He said that it showed that I didn’t really care about what I was selling, because I didn’t clean it well enough. Well, it had been in a box for years, it wasn’t doing me any good, and he won it for $3, which was considerably less than I paid for it originally. He demanded that I refund his money, and I politely told him I would if he returned the figure. That really made him mad, and he quickly became abusive and rude, and started e-mailing me several times a day, threatening to leave me negative feedback if I now didn’t refund his money AND let him keep the figure. He asked if I was “looking for trouble,” and told me I was “screwing with the wrong guy.” Definitely unstable. In the end, I went into eBay’s Live Chat (which is hard to find because their website is a disorganized nightmare), and quoted all the abusive passages from his e-mails to an eBay representative. It showed not only that he was rude and batshit crazy to boot, but also that I had been patient and polite, and tried to work with him. That “holding feedback for hostage” procedure is a violation of eBay rules, so the rep said eBay itself would be in touch with him, and they’d make the situation go away. The guy never ended up leaving me negative feedback, although he did send a few more threatening e-mails. I would’ve liked to leave negative feedback for him, just for being a jerk and threatening my 100% positive record, but I knew he’d retaliate, and I take great pride in my 100% positive feedback. I just blocked him so he could never bid on an auction of mine again, and now I include the following disclaimer in all my auctions: “I’m afraid that in the unlikely event the buyer wishes to return the item for a refund, buyer must pay return postage for the item and ship it back before receiving the refund.” That can avoid problems like yours, **norinew** , and like mine in the future. If a buyer doesn’t like your terms, screw 'em, they don’t have to deal with you. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/19 "2006-01-31T00:17:24Z")
Oh, I should add that my guy’s feedback was laced with negatives from sellers he had also extorted with negative feedback, demanding full refunds plus being allowed to keep the items. And he had left some uproariously aggressive negatives for other sellers who didn’t give into his demands. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223/20 "2006-01-31T00:20:29Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > “I’m afraid that in the unlikely event the buyer wishes to return the item for a refund, buyer must pay return postage for the item and ship it back before receiving the refund.” Well, I do have a disclaimer in my refund policy that the customer must return the item, and is responsible for shipping. I didn’t press that in this case because I _did_ misrepresent the item, albeit unintentionally. I didn’t think it was fair for him to have to pay to ship an item _back_ to me that wasn’t what he thought he was bidding on. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-ebayer-being-unreasonable/342223.md?page=2)