# Is this guy an ass or not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 8, 2007, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248 "2007-05-08T15:04:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/21 "2007-05-08T15:42:22Z")
[QUOTE=Dolores Reborn] But what’s the big deal about going in the ladies’ room? [/QUOTE] As I said, for me, it includes the fear of invading someone else’s privacy, or being perceived as acting inappropriately. What’s the big deal about a bug? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/22 "2007-05-08T15:44:19Z")
[QUOTE=Dolores Reborn] Ok - in reponse to the “spoiled” thing - it’s a phobia. I’ll kill wasps, I’ll kill snakes, I’ll kill little bugs - just not big tree roaches. So maybe I shouldn’t be the helpless female - but… [/QUOTE] Please don’t kill snakes. Even most bugs are harmless. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/23 "2007-05-08T15:45:29Z")
Yeah, sorry, **Delores** , but if you’re going to be so girlie as to shriek and run out wringing your hands over some bug, you’re not really in a position to call a guy “juvenile” for refusing to go into the ladies’ to squish it for you. I say if he was an ass then so were you, but if you weren’t then neither was he. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/24 "2007-05-08T15:46:23Z")
If you’d called my mother (who is female, as mothers are wont to be) and asked her to kill anything remotely resembling a roach, she would have run faster than you. It’s perfectly possible that the first feller wasn’t any fonder of palmetto bugs than you and I’ll be surprised if his list of Job Duties includes “killing bugs for my frail female coworkers.” ---
**Author:** ![Lunar\_Saltlick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@Lunar\_Saltlick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunar_Saltlick)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/25 "2007-05-08T15:50:22Z")
Well, it kinda depends. How long has the guy been working there? Do you know him well? What kind of guy is he – Ultra-conservative? Very reserved? Very shy? Always keeps to himself? I’ve been at my current job for five years, I know everyone quite well, they know me, I’m not particularly shy, we’re a very laid-back company, so I’d go in, but I could see some guys really wanting to avoid the situation, especially at an uptight company. Anyway, you just need to read the Dope for about five minutes to realize that in all situations, there are always going to be people who have a \*very \* strong opinion that differs from the majority. Maybe you ran into one of those people. Or maybe your colleague is afraid of those people. Or maybe you’re one of those people. (That covers pretty much everything.) I don’t think anyone’s being an ass, although if you had gone ahead and pitted the guy, that would have been really too much. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/26 "2007-05-08T15:50:55Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] Please don’t kill snakes. Even most bugs are harmless. [/QUOTE] I don’t as a rule, but if a water moccasin gets in my yard, I will. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/27 "2007-05-08T15:51:24Z")
After writing my above post, I see that someone else was in there. I would have been reluctant to enter unless I was sure I had her express approval. But I still don’t understand apparently not EVER being willing to enter the women’s restroom. And that’s the issue as I understand it - his willingness to kill the bug, or lack thereof, has not been raised by the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/28 "2007-05-08T15:54:42Z")
He’s a huge guy - maybe 6"2, over 250 lbs. He’s been here two years. Not shy at all. Big tough burly guy. And I didn’t think he was afraid of bugs, because he’s a big tough guy. Nobody would have thought anything bad about him going in the ladies’. It’s not a big deal, really. Now that the bug is dead! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/29 "2007-05-08T15:56:35Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] None of it falls into “ass” territory. He had the right to refuse (maybe he was afraid too!) and you had the right to ask. [/QUOTE] Yeah. Some guys don’t like bugs either. I don’t like bugs but sometimes I have had to be the designated squisher because the other person there was more afraid than me. A hilarious aside on bug squishing. I was walking by a door at work and saw one of those gigantic mosquito looking bugs and stopped and commented on how big it was. I did not scream, it was just a “would you look at the size of that thing!” comment in a brave voice. My coworker also a female got even braver and took a paper towel and swatted it. It fell on the floor looking dead. She tried to pick it by a leg which broke off. She just rolled her eyes at that. She then picks it up in the paper towel and it starts fluttering and we both screamed like girly girls and she dropped the bug and paper towel and we both ran. Then we started laughing hysterically. We laughed so hard it hurt and we had tears rolling down our faces. She eventually managed to pick it back up, resquish it and that was that but we were still laughing about it for a while after that. Sometimes, no matter how brave you try to be, the girly “eek, a bug!” imperative takes over. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/30 "2007-05-08T15:57:31Z")
“Not going in the bathroom” might just have been an excuse for _not wanting to do it_. Kill your own bugs, or learn how to ignore them. I can’t imagine asking someone at work to kill a bug for me unless they were a good friend - even centipedes, which freak me out, I kill myself. It’s not the guys’ job to rescue us from our frail girlishness. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/31 "2007-05-08T16:06:57Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I wouldn’t do it. What if someone menstruated all over me? [/QUOTE] I think I just sprained something. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/32 "2007-05-08T16:10:09Z")
[QUOTE=Dolores Reborn] He said no! “I’m not going in the women’s restroom!” What a dick. So I found another man to do it. He was reluctant also, but jeez. Don’t ya want to “save the fair maiden” from getting attacked? [/QUOTE] Maybe he didn’t see you as either “fair” or “maiden”. Maybe he would have been less reluctant if you had been a child, but you’re a grown woman with two functioning feet. You had two choices: ignore the insect or kill it yourself. You don’t have the right to create another option out of thin air and then act like people are obligated to carry it out with a giant smile on their face. Your post bugs me (sorry for that) because it presumes people should just carry out their “assigned” gender roles. How’d you like it if someone had vomited on the men’s floor and asked if you would clean it up, just 'cuz you’re a woman. I’m sure you wouldn’t be the eagerest beaver either. So yet another vote for “not an ass”. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/33 "2007-05-08T16:14:24Z")
I’m a adaycare teacher (in addition to soldier) so I’m in both bathrooms a lot taking kids of both genders on potty breaks. I hate bug killing. Not because I’m afraid of them, but because they’re squishy… Eww. He’s not an ass, he just likes his shoes clean too. ---
**Author:** ![XaMcQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/f9ae1b/32.png) [@XaMcQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XaMcQ)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/34 "2007-05-08T16:19:23Z")
Killing giant palmetto bugs is no fun. Sometimes the little bastards will charge at you, or fly at you, which usually causes shrieking and running in all but the bravest folks. How big and strong one is hasn’t got a lot to do with it. You out-mass that bug a few thousand times. Gender doesn’t have much to do with it, except for the societal conditioning that says guys are supposed to be tougher. IMHO, that just causes a lot of males to be more careful about getting into situations where they might be made to look bad. If he had volunteered to kill your bug, then been startled into a little scream or a flinch, he would have been a lot more humiliated than you, because you get to fall back on being a ‘girly-girl’. You put him on the spot, so no, he wasn’t an ass. I once earned the undying enmity of a boss of mine by accidentally scaring him with a spider. I often rescue spiders and put them outside instead of squishing them, and I, Mr. Spider and the Boss came together in a doorway with disastrous results, i.e., him screaming and spilling coffee all over his suit in an attempt to back up in a hurry. He was a very tough, competent and confident guy in all other respects, and he was pissed to be made a fool of. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/35 "2007-05-08T16:28:41Z")
Maybe he actually had work to do that was more important than dealing with your issues? ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/36 "2007-05-08T16:36:08Z")
[QUOTE=BoBettie] Maybe he actually had work to do that was more important than dealing with your issues? [/QUOTE] Trsut me, that was not the case! We are sooo slow… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/37 "2007-05-08T16:38:14Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I wouldn’t do it. What if someone menstruated all over me? [/QUOTE] Jeez fella, now there’s little bits of Palmetto bug wings and casing all over my monitor. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/38 "2007-05-08T16:44:51Z")
Considering that if he were spotted in the women’s restroom by a boss he could face disciplinary action I go with “not an ass.” Go find a woman less wimpy than you to kill the next bug. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/39 "2007-05-08T16:57:30Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Considering that if he were spotted in the women’s restroom by a boss he could face disciplinary action I go with “not an ass.” [/QUOTE] While the OP is there holding the door and no doubt explaining that it’s at her request? I don’t see that being an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248/40 "2007-05-08T17:03:12Z")
Count me in with the “not an ass” crowd. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect some random guy to come into the women’s bathroom to kill a bug. Why couldn’t you have just used a bathroom on another floor? And why not call maintenance, or ask another woman to squish it for you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-guy-an-ass-or-not/403248.md?page=3)