# Is this "high maintanance"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 13, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450 "2002-04-13T17:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/21 "2002-04-14T08:15:49Z")
Lets see. I would have offered to carry some of her bags and walk her to her car. But getting all worked up because she didn’t get a ride she didn’t ask for? **Enderw24** you should downgrade her to “pathetic person whom I don’t want to know.” ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/22 "2002-04-14T08:26:57Z")
I cannot understand why anyone would wear stilettos during shopping trips, and it totally boggles my mind, that this guy is supposed to give her a ride to her car when it is raining? But she can stand to stand in the rain and talk with him? Say what!? anya, who sometimes walks to the grocerystore, with a backpack, in the weather. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/23 "2002-04-14T13:13:20Z")
Well now, stilettos at the grocery store I can kind of understand, 'cause that _is_ one of the prime cruising areas for us middle-age folk. Still, high maintenance woman in the spotlight. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/24 "2002-04-14T14:08:06Z")
She blames this guy for … not being _psychic_? I’d upgrade her to “passive-aggressive” rather than “high-maintenance.” ---
**Author:** ![greenlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@greenlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenlady)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/25 "2002-04-14T14:17:51Z")
Another vote here for high maintenance chick. BTW, the OP said nothing about what kind of shoes she was wearing at the time. Someone along the line just mentioned high heels, so a digression was made of this particular aspect. Towards that, I’d just like to add that it’s entirely possible to get “caught” wearing high heels at the grocery store. I’m thinking of the days when I was working full-time in an office (sometimes wearing high heels) and decided to go to the grocery store directly from work for a couple of things. Easily, I could have bought 3 bags worth of stuff instead of what I had originally intended to buy. But back to the OP…definitely high maintenance. I just can’t believe sometimes the feeling of entitlement that so many people seem to have these days. Unfortunately, I’ve seen behavior likes hers more and more often as the years go by, and it’s disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/26 "2002-04-14T14:23:43Z")
So, is the message that anytime I, gentleman that I am, see a woman wearing stilletto heels, I should offer her a ride? ---
**Author:** ![greenlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@greenlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenlady)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/27 "2002-04-14T14:55:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ringo \* > \*\*So, is the message that anytime I, gentleman that I am, see a woman wearing stilletto heels, I should offer her a ride? \*\* Nope. I wouldn’t presume assistance in **any** scenario, stilettos or not. Friend/acquaintance or not. But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/28 "2002-04-14T15:27:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ringo \* > \*\*So, is the message that anytime I, gentleman that I am, see a woman wearing stilletto heels, I should offer her a ride? \*\* ] Why not? Worked out fine for Eddie Murphy. Yeah, she never said anything about her shoes. The surprising thing is that she’s really not normally like this, so it really took me off guard. When she asked what I thought, I had no idea what to do. Do I say I agree when I most defnitely did not, or do I attempt to start a minor argument over a non-issue. I did what any good man would do, mumble something incoherent and change the subject. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/29 "2002-04-14T16:04:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*I’m still trying to figure out this business of “downgraded [him] from a friend to an acquaintance.” Who the heck makes little lists of the people they know and tags some as “friends” and others as “acquaintances”? If this guy does something else she doesn’t like, is he downgraded further to “stranger”? > > I can see this woman making casual conversation. “Hey, how’s your friend Bob doing?” “Bob isn’t a friend anymore. He’s been downgraded, so now I don’t give a damn about him.” “Oh. How about John?” “You can ask about John, I’ve upgraded him to ‘soulmate’…” \*\* …picturing a woman in front of a big board like an office staffing board, taking a little nameplate “John” from under the “Friend” column and putting it under “Acquaintance” … John is better off not being in the Court of this Princess… (non-denominational Princess, BTW) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/30 "2002-04-14T16:50:04Z")
I’d think it would be creepy if they guy offered me a ride to my car. I think that if I go grocery shopping, I’d better be prepared to do the whole grocery shopping thing (which is why I either have my groceries delivered, or shop at a place that still has bag boys (or girls - would the non-sexist term be bag children? Somehow, that is wrong) or package pickup.) ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/31 "2002-04-14T19:12:48Z")
Sounds to me like she wants something else from this guy. I think she wants to get busy with him. I vote high maintenance, additionally she doesn’t have a clue as to what plans he may have had, he could have been in a serious hurry or perhaps picked up a vibe about her and didn’t want her in his car. I also believe if it was a ride she wanted she should have asked for it, even though it would have been nice for him to offer. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/32 "2002-04-14T19:35:36Z")
Sounds spoiled to me. If any (fellow) woman ever bitched at me about not having been offered a ride to her car on a day she was wearing horrible shoes whilst doing serious grocery shopping, she’d get a stilletto in the forehead. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/33 "2002-04-14T19:38:09Z")
LindyHopper, I hope I’m not still your hero. Clearly Cosmopolitan deserves that honour 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/34 "2002-04-14T19:43:31Z")
Absolutely high maintenance, and passive-aggressive to boot. She took the time to stop and chat in the rain, but then called you later to complain that he didn’t offer her a ride to her car? :rolleyes: If she had told him she was walking **home** , he might have offered her a ride, but if she pointed out her car (which was probably not that far), it more than likely didn’t even cross his mind to offer to drive her to her car. And what’s with this business of “downgrading” him from friend to acquaintance? Sounds like childish junior-high crap to me. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2002, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/35 "2002-04-14T23:28:20Z")
Only if the bags were paper would she need a ride. Plastic bags are waterproof. ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/36 "2002-04-15T01:20:53Z")
You know, maybe she had just had her hair professionally blow-dried straight, and it was getting curly there in the rain in the parking lot. I would be pissed too! And those stiletto heels get caught in the asphalt… She could have stepped in a _puddle_! Then what, I ask you? Then what indeed! Whew, what a jerk that guy was not to offer her a ride. What was he thinking? I’d knock him down to _ **someone I know but don’t particularly like** _ from acquiantance. Geesh! Would you men get a clue? Women have a really hard time walking these days, especially when hair and heels are at stake. Not to mention how much the rain effects your _mascara_! Ooooh, this really burns me up. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/37 "2002-04-15T01:33:41Z")
That is definitely high maintenance. If she wanted a ride she should have asked. The guy is not a mind reader. I also wonder if she wouldn’t get just as wet loading her stuff into his car and then unloading the stuff into her car. Anyhow what would she do if she goes to the market on a rainy day and she doesn’t run into someone she knows? Get upset with mother nature. If she hates carrying groceries on a rainy day, check the forecast and don’t go shopping when it is going to rain. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/38 "2002-04-15T01:50:18Z")
An umbrella would have solved her problem. Girls like that give the rest of us a bad name. What a bunch of bullshit game-playing. Besides, if you don’t _expect_ anyone to do anything kind for you, then you’re always pleasantly surprised when someone does. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/39 "2002-04-15T01:58:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\* > Girls like that give the rest of us a bad name. What a bunch of bullshit game-playing \*\* Hear hear! I’ve just upgraded you from “friend” to “future mother of my children.” ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450/40 "2002-04-15T02:10:11Z")
This is the kind of thing I would never ever expect anyone to do for me. IF it was a torrential downpour and I was struggling with the bags, I might say “Could you help me carry these to my car, please?” but I would never expect someone to give me a lift to my car. Write her off - someone like that is only going to mess with your head when she stops talking to you for some imagined infraction of her rules. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-high-maintanance/103450.md?page=3)