# Is this "hostess" totally out of line? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 16, 2010, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-hostess-totally-out-of-line/536290 "2010-04-16T02:23:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 146
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-hostess-totally-out-of-line/536290/146 "2010-04-17T14:32:32Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I didn’t see anything out of line with lezler’s response. It was other people that took it to more of a pitting. Lez just wants **even sven** to be slightly less condescending in her responses. One should not belittle someone else’s feelings, no matter how wrong you think they are.. Thanks, **BigT** , that was exactly it. There was a bit of residual resentment from prior threads mixed in there too. I realize I was asking for people’s opinions. There is, however, a difference between giving your own opinion and telling someone else they shouldn’t be feeling what they’re feeling in a certain situation. Especially when it’s done in a condescending way, such as giving anctedotes about people who live lives of bitterness because they aren’t enlightened enough to magically avoid getting irritated by anything in life. :rolleyes: You can offer advice about what to _do_ in a situation, but telling someone thier feelings are “silly” or wrong because you don’t agree with them is indeed condescending and far from productive. **CatWhisperer** , thanks. It was definately the snowball effect. She’s getting games now and is ordering pizza and getting a bunch of beer, and texted me saying if I’m feeling too stressed out that it’s okay to flake. I might take her up on that. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-hostess-totally-out-of-line/536290)._