# Is this normal (regarding male orgasm)?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 21, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971 "2011-12-21T18:12:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/1 "2011-12-21T18:12:17Z")

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TMI Ahoy!

So whenever my boyfriend orgasms, he appears to be in pain. I asked him if it hurt when he ejaculated, and he says that his orgasm is basically a series of short bursts (which makes me think he’s having multiple orgasms) and it gets to be more painful the longer it goes on.

I was under the impression that most men have a single orgasm, but some can have multiple. Is it normal for male orgasms to hurt, though? Every so often, mine will hurt (I’m female), but that’s only if it’s really intense. It seems like every orgasm he has is like this. He says this pain sometimes makes him want to avoid sex. Is there anything we can do to make the process less painful?

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**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/2 "2011-12-21T18:20:37Z")

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Not to play doctor and all, but that _can_ be a symptom of an enlarged prostate gland. It is probably something he should mention to his doctor.

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**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/3 "2011-12-21T18:34:48Z")

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Why would you or anyone think pain is normal? Especially during or resulting of sex, which is inherently supposed to be quite the opposite.

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**Author:** ![TerpBE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc8723/32.png) [@TerpBE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TerpBE)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/4 "2011-12-21T18:55:47Z")

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A typical male orgasm has several spurts - that’s not an indication of multiple orgasms. If he’s going more than a minute or so between them, then it’s multiples, but several bursts less than a second or so apart are all the same orgasm.

The pain isn’t normal though. See a doctor.

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**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/5 "2011-12-21T19:12:54Z")

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A series of spurts is normal. The pain may be, as others say, a side effect of enlarged prostate - or possibly accidental contact with teeth. 😃

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**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/6 "2011-12-21T22:29:51Z")

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You did not say the age. Regardless, he needs to check with a urinary doctor for a digital exam and PSA test. (The digital exam is not a high tech computer test.)

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**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/7 "2011-12-21T22:39:47Z")

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> [@Al\_Bundy](#):
>
> You did not say the age. Regardless, he needs to check with a urinary doctor for a digital exam and PSA test. (The digital exam is not a high tech computer test.)

1. He’s never had a prostate exam or PSA test, so if I can find a free clinic in this city, I will make sure he goes and does those.

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**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/8 "2011-12-21T23:25:38Z")

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> [@Stauderhorse](#):
>
> 1. He’s never had a prostate exam or PSA test, so if I can find a free clinic in this city, I will make sure he goes and does those.

Forget about finding a “free” clinic. You sound like if you can’t find a free clinic, you’ll just forget about him seeing a doctor. He needs to see a doctor _yesterday_! Get some money together some how.

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/9 "2011-12-21T23:52:19Z")

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> [@Mangosteen](#):
>
> Forget about finding a “free” clinic. You sound like if you can’t find a free clinic, you’ll just forget about him seeing a doctor. He needs to see a doctor _yesterday_! Get some money together some how.

Yes, because all people can just get money together to go to a doctor. That’s why we don’t have a health insurance problem in this country.

And if it’s so vital, why aren’t you recommending the emergency room, who can’t not take you due to lack of funds?

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**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/10 "2011-12-22T04:30:11Z")

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Since the OP will be answered by opinions, some of which may be factual and some not so, let’s move from GQ to IMHO.

**samclem** , Moderator

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**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/11 "2011-12-22T04:45:44Z")

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Yeah, I don’t think it suppose to hurt. I’d get that checked out.

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**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/12 "2011-12-22T05:15:39Z")

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> [@BigT](#):
>
> Yes, because all people can just get money together to go to a doctor. That’s why we don’t have a health insurance problem in this country.
> 
> And if it’s so vital, why aren’t you recommending the emergency room, who can’t not take you due to lack of funds?

I’m pretty sure the ER only has to stabilize a person who is in a life threatening condition. Once stabilized and not in immediate danger of dying, they’ll either discharge the uninsured or transfer them to a charitable or maybe municipal hospital. Unfortunately, pain during orgasm probably doesn’t qualify for uninsured ER care. They might see him, but there will be a hefty bill whether he can pay it or not.

This is why our health system is so broken. Hopefully there’s a free or sliding-scale clinic in his area. When I needed cheap services, the county I lived in at the time (a wealthy one - not Cook, that’s for sure) had a sliding-scale clinic that cost me all of $20 at the time. (This was in the mid-90’s, so YMMV)

I hope the OP’s boyfriend can get help soon.

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**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/13 "2011-12-22T05:17:34Z")

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I believe Planned Parenthood will also see men, regarding reproductive system health issues. They definetly use a sliding scale.

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**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/14 "2011-12-22T06:55:58Z")

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I have to agree with some of the above opinions that pain during orgasm isn’t normal. I will say however, that during orgasm I tend to not like to the stimulation to continue, for it isn’t painful but more of an “overload” of sensation that drives me nuts. Perhaps that is what he is feeling. When this “pain” happens are you continuing to stimulate him during the orgasm? It might be possible that he is becoming too sensitive.

The same thing happens with my wife during her orgasms. I cannot continue to stimulate her clitoris or the sensation becomes too intense.

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**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/15 "2011-12-22T07:22:03Z")

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I am going to second Obbn here. The act of sex leading up to an orgasm feels pretty good to me. The orgasming itself is nice but right on the edge. But right after? Please don’t bother Mr. Happy AT ALL for the next few minutes. Don’t touch him, don’t look at him, don’t ask him for his autograph. I don’t know if I’d call it PAIN, but it isnt pleasant at all. Thats how it works for me.

Sounds to me like the boyfriend has the same sorta thing. Except he has to get a bit “overstimulated” before he actually orgasms. I’d suspect with some effort/training/practice (cue eye of the tiger music here) he could get to where he can orgasm BEFORE he reaches that point of overstimulation.

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/16 "2011-12-22T12:19:59Z")

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Yes, he might be describing post-orgasm overstimulation. It’s not actually painful, but it increases sensitivity to the point where you’d even prefer actual pain. Within seconds, the guy transitions from “OH GOD, DON’T STOP!” to “OH GOD, STOP”

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**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/17 "2011-12-22T13:12:43Z")

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> [@billfish678](#):
>
> I am going to second Obbn here. The act of sex leading up to an orgasm feels pretty good to me. The orgasming itself is nice but right on the edge. But right after? Please don’t bother Mr. Happy AT ALL for the next few minutes. Don’t touch him, don’t look at him, don’t ask him for his autograph. I don’t know if I’d call it PAIN, but it isnt pleasant at all. Thats how it works for me.
> 
> Sounds to me like the boyfriend has the same sorta thing. Except he has to get a bit “overstimulated” before he actually orgasms. I’d suspect with some effort/training/practice (cue eye of the tiger music here) he could get to where he can orgasm BEFORE he reaches that point of overstimulation.

Agreed. I wouldn’t call it pain either, but it is something similar to when one’s been tickled far too long. Actually, I can make a very apt comparison. It feels very much like the area _around_, but not ON a fresh tattoo. If you’ve ever had a sunburn or a bad scrape, the feeling is similar. Not the actual wound area itself which is painful but the undamaged area immeditely around it. Tender..Tickly, Sensitive. The nerves are just overstimulated.

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**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/18 "2011-12-22T14:20:34Z")

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> [@panache45](#):
>
> Yes, he might be describing post-orgasm overstimulation. It’s not actually painful, but it increases sensitivity to the point where you’d even prefer actual pain. Within seconds, the guy transitions from “OH GOD, DON’T STOP!” to “OH GOD, STOP”

It may just be this, actually. I should stop stimulation a few seconds earlier in the process, then.

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**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/19 "2011-12-22T14:28:31Z")

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Yeah, I doubt it’s a medical issue. Post-ejaculation stimulation (sounds so official!) seems more likely.

Does he have the same sensations of pain when he orgasms from masturbating? It could be you’re “doing it wrong” and he doesnt have the heart to say anything to you about it. Not your fault, he just might not be communicating properly.

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**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\
**Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-normal-regarding-male-orgasm/606971/20 "2011-12-22T14:57:38Z")

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Unless I missed it, you didn’t say where it hurts. If it’s the tip of his penis, it’s probably as **panache** describes. If it’s internal, it’s something else entirely.

I’m a guy with an enlarged prostate (I’m 44 but my doctor says I have the prostate of a 65 year old man. Delightful. :rolleyes:). I’ve had a few encounters with post-ejaculation discomfort to the tip, but absolutely zero orgasms that were painful elsewhere.

I agree that he should see a doctor on the double.

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