# Is this paragraph okey-dokey? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 18, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316 "2018-06-18T13:27:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/1 "2018-06-18T13:27:22Z")
This is the opening paragraph of a blog post for a small business. It might get read by a couple thousand people. The writer is stepping out of a challenging job and wishing good luck to his successor. The tone is knowledgeable and sincere, but decidedly informal (the post contains several decent puns and ends with a very bad pun). It’s been 90 years since horse-drawn wagons were an ordinary sight on the streets of Cleveland, but the expression “handing off the reins” remains common. The modern equivalent is “your turn to drive," with the crucial difference that the wagon’s horsepower was alive, with one or more minds of its own. There are several phrases in the paragraph that I see as less than optimal, but a couple of people… have problems with the use of horsepower as singular noun – and a singular object that could have “one or more minds”. That usage doesn’t bother me at all in this context. Should it? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/2 "2018-06-18T14:50:07Z")
What if you said “that the wagon’s **engine** was alive”? ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/3 "2018-06-18T15:04:23Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > What if you said “that the wagon’s **engine** was alive”? Or “propulsion system” if someone quibbles that two horses aren’t one engine. The sentence seems fine to me. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/4 "2018-06-18T15:13:28Z")
I think the problem is that the sentence can’t decide whether “horsepower” is plural (their) or singular (its). You can use it to mean just one horse, but the author needs to pick. I would say either “the wagon’s horsepower included a mind of its own” or “the wagon’s horsepower included minds of their own.” ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/5 "2018-06-18T15:20:28Z")
Given the tone of that writing style, it all looks fine to me. The horsepower thing is a synecdoche and is fine as is. Although “horsepower” is a unit, it can also be used as a synonym for “power,” which is a mass noun, so OK to use the singular “was.” That a singular object could have one or more minds is a deliberate twist to the writing and IMHO is also fine. You could rewrite it for nitpickers and pedants but then it would lose the distinct voice of the writer. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/6 "2018-06-18T16:15:07Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Given the tone of that writing style, it all looks fine to me. The horsepower thing is a synecdoche and is fine as is. Although “horsepower” is a unit, it can also be used as a synonym for “power,” which is a mass noun, so OK to use the singular “was.” That a singular object could have one or more minds is a deliberate twist to the writing and IMHO is also fine. > > You could rewrite it for nitpickers and pedants but then it would lose the distinct voice of the writer. You’re my new favorite poster (because you’re telling me exactly what I want to hear). But the story won’t “go to press” for another day, so other voices are definitely welcome. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-paragraph-okey-dokey/816316/7 "2018-06-18T16:38:43Z")
Leave it the way you posted it in the OP. I’m deathly afraid that if a committee is permitted to monkey with it, the final version will include the phrase “handing off the reigns.” :eek: