# Is this rape?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rape/477251>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 15, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rape/477251 "2008-12-15T16:17:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 15

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**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rape/477251/15 "2008-12-15T19:43:47Z")

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> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> I never claimed to be perfect, and I’ll freely admit that I have something of a Knight In Shining Armor complex. I’m just trying my best not to be an asshole. I guess I’d rather be a patronizing jerk than a scumbag, if you will.
> 
> But for the record, the one time I did cave in to a girl who pushed me into having sex with her when I didn’t really want to, I did feel raped, and I did feel like shit for a long time.

Okay, fair enough. It’s probably better to be safe. I do think that, as **JackofHearts** points out, we have to be careful to actually apply the word “rape” more…well, carefully. If everything is rape, then where are we?

I feel like I’ve had sex under situations where I didn’t want to (or in some cases, really didn’t want to), but I still consented. But in one of those cases, I’d just refer to it as manipulation/coercion, but definitely not rape. I felt really bad afterwards, maybe in some ways “violated,” but legally and practically, what happened to me wasn’t rape since I did consent.

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