# Is this really a Shakespeare quote? "A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2022, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131 "2022-09-24T08:57:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Octagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/2acd7d/32.png) [@Octagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octagon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/1 "2022-09-24T08:57:49Z")
Is this really a Shakespeare quote? “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” I’ve seen it surfacing in odd places lately. I just sounds a little too modern to be Shakespeare’s. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/2 "2022-09-24T09:05:59Z")
It’s definitely not Shakespeare. Everything about it, from the phrasing to the word choice to the lack of poetic rhythm to the overall triteness of it suggests it originated sometime in the last 40 years on one of those kitschy posters your mom likes to hang in the bathroom or post as a Facebook meme with a picture of a Minion, Stitch, or Baby Yoda. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/3 "2022-09-24T09:37:57Z")
_“But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,_ _All losses are restored and sorrows end.”_ Sonnet 30 Now _that’s_ Shakespeare. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/4 "2022-09-24T11:14:03Z")
Pretty sure that’s Abraham Lincoln. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/5 "2022-09-24T11:19:17Z")
> [@Maserschmidt](#): > > Pretty sure that’s Abraham Lincoln. No, he said “I’ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours”. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/6 "2022-09-24T11:24:04Z")
Oh! And I thought that was Albert Einstein all along… ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/7 "2022-09-24T11:38:12Z")
Some sources claim that the quotation comes from a writer named Elbert Hubbard. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/8 "2022-09-24T11:41:55Z")
I did a little poking around on Google Books. The phrase first shows up in the mid 1970s, attributed to either “anonymous” or “author unknown”. The author remains anonymous through the 1980s and 1990s, but in the early 2000s the phrase is firmly established as being a Shakespeare quote. So apparently Shakespeare stole the quote and published it under his own name in the early 2000s. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/9 "2022-09-24T11:46:24Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > Some sources claim that the quotation comes from a writer named Elbert Hubbard. I saw that when I was poking around on Google, but the cite they gave attributed the quote to Shakespeare. I wasn’t able to find anything with any sort of cite to back it up. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/10 "2022-09-24T11:49:33Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > The author remains anonymous through the 1980s and 1990s, but in the early 2000s the phrase is firmly established as being a Shakespeare quote. Probably a rumor started by Elbert Hubbard. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/11 "2022-09-24T12:25:47Z")
Sure it’s Shakespeare. Joe Shakespeare down at the filling station. > [@Smapti](#): > > No, he said “I’ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours”. I said that. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/12 "2022-09-24T13:38:10Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > No, he said “I’ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours”. The way I heard it, there was always something about getting into my car. ---
**Author:** ![Hermione1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d07c76/32.png) [@Hermione1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione1)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/13 "2022-09-24T13:45:34Z")
I can’t tell you how many memes/pieces of wall art I’ve spotted that misattribute quotes. For example, attributing a quote from one of the Disney Pooh movies (which, don’t get me wrong, I love) to A.A. Milne. Or one from the Tim Burton Alice In Wonderland movie to Lewis Carroll. (“You’re entirely bonkers, but I’ll tell you a secret…all the best people are”, seems to be a favorite.) But the all-time capper has to be attributing the quote “Dream in light years, challenge miles, walk step by step” to Shakespeare. I mean…I’m just…EXACTLY HOW WOULD WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE KNOW WHAT A “LIGHT YEAR” EVEN WAS?! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/14 "2022-09-24T13:47:33Z")
[![](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/01/78/f2/0178f2c9593c7d838c481f9c057cacbc--internet-quotes-quote-posters.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/01/78/f2/0178f2c9593c7d838c481f9c057cacbc--internet-quotes-quote-posters.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/15 "2022-09-24T17:58:04Z")
Since almost all we know if Shakespeare is from his works, any quote without referencing the works chapter and verse is pretty suspect. “It doesn’t take a genius to know the difference between chicken shit and chicken salad” _Twelfth Night_, Act 2, Scene 3. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/16 "2022-09-24T18:09:59Z")
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand’ring barque, Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.” _Eminem_, The Real Slim Shady. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/17 "2022-09-24T18:16:00Z")
> [@Octagon](#): > > A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow This isn’t Jacobean writing. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/18 "2022-09-24T18:33:30Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > This isn’t Jacobean writing. As Walter Raleigh once said, “Live, laugh, love.” ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/19 "2022-09-24T18:45:16Z")
Yeah, it sounds like Hallmark ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2022, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131/20 "2022-09-24T19:07:08Z")
[It appears to originate](https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/All_in_a_Family/SCsoJOLgeeQC?hl=en&gbpv=1&bsq=%22gently+invites+you+to+grow%22&dq=%22gently+invites+you+to+grow%22&printsec=frontcover) in a book called _All In A Family_ by Michael Gaydos, 1977. At least, it’s the earliest I can find, and he doesn’t indicate that it’s a quote from someone else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-really-a-shakespeare-quote-a-friend-is-one-that-knows-you-as-you-are-understands-where-you-have-been-accepts-what-you-have-become-and-still-gently-allows-you-to-grow/972131.md?page=2)