# Is this rude? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 2, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163 "2013-02-02T23:56:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![IceQube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@IceQube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IceQube)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/1 "2013-02-02T23:56:30Z")
Background: A has flaked on B twice. Dialogue exchange: A (feigning stupidity): Why aren’t you asking me to do it again? (It being the thing that A flaked on twice before). You aren’t smiling at me any more, winking, taking me out to dinners, and practically kissing my ass to do it again. Not that I want to do \*it \*again … ! B: Well, you seem to have your own priorities. We still all right though. A: Well, you know what they say … fool them once … fool them twice … To me, it seems that A has pointed out B’s ass-kissing and implied that B is a fool. What do you think? Btw, I’m A. This is a real exchange that happened in my life and I dropped these gems (bombs) on B. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/2 "2013-02-03T00:19:42Z")
I guess it depends on what “flaked” means. All I can picture is dandruff, which doesn’t make sense. Try using some more standard terminology and you might get better responses. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/3 "2013-02-03T00:45:06Z")
“A” sounds like a class act. What does “A” get out of flaking on “B”? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/4 "2013-02-03T00:53:20Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > I guess it depends on what “flaked” means. All I can picture is dandruff, which doesn’t make sense. Try using some more standard terminology and you might get better responses. It means he didn’t show up to a planned social engagement. A person is a ‘‘flake’’ if they don’t keep their commitments, not out of malice but absent-mindedness. I really don’t understand what A was trying to say to B. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/5 "2013-02-03T00:55:11Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I really don’t understand what A was trying to say to B. That they think B is a big ol’ sucker. I think B is better off without A. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/6 "2013-02-03T00:59:26Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > I guess it depends on what “flaked” means. All I can picture is dandruff, which doesn’t make sense. Try using some more standard terminology and you might get better responses. Super super common term. You’ve never heard anyone be described as flaky? ---
**Author:** ![Courk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Courk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Courk)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/7 "2013-02-03T00:59:37Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > To me, it seems that A has pointed out B’s ass-kissing and implied that B is a fool. But you’re A? I would say that intentionally calling someone names to their face is rude. Is your question if we think B noticed the implied name-calling? Because that’s an entirely different question. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/8 "2013-02-03T01:02:08Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > It means he didn’t show up to a planned social engagement. I figured it was involving sex, not a social engagement. Though if it was swinging, I guess that would count as both. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/9 "2013-02-03T01:25:45Z")
A was rude for blaming B for daring to trust them a second time with the request (hinted at by the “fool me once, fool me twice”). Sometimes people give someone the benefit of the doubt, and I thought B’s response was very generous. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/10 "2013-02-03T01:33:07Z")
You sound like a real winner. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/11 "2013-02-03T01:36:00Z")
**IceQube** , why are you asking us this? What are you hoping to get out of this thread - do you expect us to join in your tee-hee laugh at B’s expense? ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/12 "2013-02-03T01:36:35Z")
A was rude for flaking. A was rude to ask to be invited do whatever it is again. A was rude to point out that somehow B is a fool to have let A flake on him so much. B should kick A to the curb and write him off for the jerk he is. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/13 "2013-02-03T01:39:29Z")
You, as A, are the dick. ---
**Author:** ![IceQube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@IceQube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IceQube)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/14 "2013-02-03T01:46:27Z")
Thank you all for confirming that I was the dick. The problem was that B seemed completely oblivious to the bombshells I dropped on him. Well, maybe B’s just stupid then. Only adds to the hilarity. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/15 "2013-02-03T01:47:09Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > Only adds to the hilarity. Yes, because being charitable to people who treat you poorly is hy-larious. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/16 "2013-02-03T01:47:09Z")
If A and B are sets, then the relative complement of A in B, also termed the set-theoretic difference of B and A, is the set of elements in B, but not in A. That’s about the most sense I can make of this. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/17 "2013-02-03T02:29:52Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > Thank you all for confirming that I was the dick. The problem was that B seemed completely oblivious to the bombshells I dropped on him. Well, maybe B’s just stupid then. Only adds to the hilarity. B appears to have wised up considering they’re no longer kissing your ass. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/18 "2013-02-03T02:55:33Z")
I don’t understand what the point of this is other than make yourself look like an asshole? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/19 "2013-02-03T04:01:38Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > Thank you all for confirming that I was the dick. The problem was that B seemed completely oblivious to the bombshells I dropped on him. Well, maybe B’s just stupid then. It sounds like B was just being polite. Maybe you should try it sometime. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163/20 "2013-02-03T04:06:22Z")
> [@IceQube](#): > > Well, maybe B’s just stupid then. I would say so, if he’s still friends with you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-rude/649163.md?page=2)