# Is this sexual harrassment? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 12, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800 "2012-11-12T17:51:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/41 "2012-11-13T16:15:52Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > That would be my complaint, as well. The original tussle wasn’t anything to write home about, but the fact that management apparently is okay with this being a part of the environment would bother me. Managers need to take _some_ kind of action against employees who are spouting sexualized insults- and I think training could be an excellent solution. It would probably be a favor to the employee who is being disciplined, as they obviously have a thing or two to learn about professionalism. But don’t wait until after the fact. As soon as the first “slut” came out the managers needed to say this meeting is over then deal with the harpy. Otherwise I think the OP is justified in saying that she was forced (because who walks out of a meeting with a manager) to sit there and bear the repeated abuse. That to me is a hostile work environment. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/42 "2012-11-13T16:28:16Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > I think it all depends on the management and whether they would consider those accusations as grounds for punishment or dismissal. > > Where I work if someone said that in front of other employees or managers they would be politely escorted out the door and handed their final paycheck, but some places might tolerate it. > > If you honestly feel you have been sexually harassed you should contact local law enforcement and/or the district attorney’s office and see what they say. Yeah, this. 'cause it doesn’t really matter what management thinks; the reason most places would escort the…person…out the door is because legally they would be at fault for allowing it. So, yeah. Get a move-on. Or at least let management know you’re having to take this higher because they aren’t doing their jobs. ---
**Author:** ![Reality\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@Reality\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reality_Joe)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/43 "2012-11-13T19:26:00Z")
> [@isurun18](#): > > I work at a very popular chain restaurant. The altercation was just a work related encounter, honestly didn’t even need to be a made into a big deal. I was going to just let it go until she kept making those statements. Is it ridiculous for me to think that what she is saying is uncalled for and there should be consequences for her? In the past there would have been consequences for her behavior however the current state of restaurant industry management practices have slipped so drastically over the last 2 decades it’s not even funny. I’m not saying all restaurant managers are awful. They aren’t. However lets be honest here folks they aren’t exactly picking the cream of the crop for such jobs anymore. If you don’t get justice in this situation? Don’t be surprised. When adult children run the show nobody is punished properly if ever. I think you’re doing the right thing by going to your GM. Just present yourself professionally and he/she may have the maturity to resolve the issue … hopefully. I’ll never forget the day I realized restaurant management had slid to an all time low. It was valentines day in the mid 90s. Was having an early dinner with my soon to be wife. There was glass in my house salad from the plate having cracked previous to being brought out. Some in my mouth. We call the manager over from his antics with the young waitresses to show him this glass I pulled out of my mouth. He says in a cocky voice: “yeah… what do you want me to do about it! …Im not going to give you a free meal or anything like that over it” This was his first response LOL. I said : I wan t you to sit here and finish the salad with the glass in it asshole. How does that sound? … no need for a free meal" He walked off in a huff leaving the waitress to help us out. Back to flirting with the under age girls for him. It was then I realized we aren’t in kansas anymore toto. Best of luck and good luck! with these clowns. I do hope you get justice. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/44 "2012-11-13T19:44:14Z")
In California that is both defamation and sexual harassment: hostile work environment. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/45 "2012-11-13T19:50:16Z")
Good answers. It amazes me that people said she should just ignore this: it never gets resolved in chain restaurants so we shouldn’t do anything about it so nothing will ever get resolved. Bright. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/46 "2012-11-13T20:09:07Z")
I think she should do everything reasonable to resolve this. I think she also needs to stay realistic about how far she’s going to get with that in an industry that considers its employees basically disposable. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/47 "2012-11-13T20:10:04Z")
Agreed 100%. However, I have also done menial service jobs, and while a lot slides by, I know someone calling someone else a “dirty slut” would not be acceptable. I mean, there’s a limit! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/48 "2012-11-13T20:41:53Z")
That’s I guess where the rubber hits the road - how much response can she reasonably expect from her managers in response to her co-worker being so incredibly inappropriate? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/49 "2012-11-13T20:58:41Z")
I would hope for a little more than what was in the OP, with two managers looking on and no comments from either one. I don’t expect magic. I do expect someone to open their mouths and say “That’s not appropriate, don’t make me separate you two - why don’t you go calm down?” at the very least. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/50 "2012-11-13T20:58:55Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > That’s I guess where the rubber hits the road - how much response can she reasonably expect from her managers in response to her co-worker being so incredibly inappropriate? Obviously the managers don’t give a shit, which is going to rebound back on them as they are fostering a hostile work environment, not just ignoring it. They are fucked if they don’t start backpedalling fast. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2012, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/51 "2012-11-14T05:37:56Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > But wouldn’t the fact that two managers did not shut her down and let her continue with her rants contribute to being a hostile environment? For me that would be the key that the management let the abuse continue. Yes, their reaction was inexcusable and their reaction and failure to stop it _could_ be the fact that would bump this into “severe” territory - but not a guarantee. By the way, if she were to sue, she would also sue on a “failure to prevent harassment,” claim, which cannot stand alone but is available if liability is found on sexual harassment itself. If she won on the sexual harassment, she would definitely win on the failure to prevent claim. Still and all, no damages and (this is not legal advice, just what I would do) I would not sue if I were her - I would address directly with the restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/52 "2012-11-14T06:00:14Z")
It seems to me if a male coworker had used that language, we’d all be saying, yeah, sexual harassment. So why isn’t it considered sexual harassment no matter they gender of the person saying? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2012, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800/53 "2012-11-14T12:06:12Z")
Once again, keying her car and moving on is a viable approach to the situation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-harrassment/640800.md?page=2)