# Is this (sexual) statement a compliment, an insult or something else? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691 "2012-11-11T17:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/1 "2012-11-11T17:53:00Z")
If someone told you: “What’s interesting about you is that you’re like, the same person while you’re having sex and when you’re not,” what would your reaction be? Would that be a compliment to you, an insult, something that just made you go “bwah?” Why or why not? ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/2 "2012-11-11T18:46:02Z")
My reaction would be “Cool. What were you expecting?” I’d assume they’d had a lot of very different experiences in that area, and I’d be nosy about what they were. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/3 "2012-11-11T19:41:02Z")
‘Bwah’ Unless the person is used to a ‘Batman jumping out of the closet.’ type scenario, I’m unclear as to who they think you would turn into when having sex. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/4 "2012-11-11T20:02:19Z")
My initial reaction is that it is an insult. Someone is reaching pretty hard to find a nice way of telling you something disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/5 "2012-11-11T20:07:54Z")
I sense that it’s meant to be a compliment, but I’m not sure I understand it. Since I like compliments, and I’m generally a fan of understanding, I’d ask them to 'splain. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/6 "2012-11-11T20:13:25Z")
Some people get really cranky when they aren’t getting laid on a regular basis. Bad enough for a friend to set her up with a blind date just so she would get laid and not be a cranky bitch. Not that I would know anything about that… So, being stable during times of no sex is probably a very good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/7 "2012-11-11T20:24:48Z")
Without knowing the people involved, I’d guess the speaker means the other person is exceptionally intellectual and analytical and remains so in bed. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, as the speaker probably likes the other person – at least enough to sleep with them. However, most people like to see some animal behavior during sex, and to think that they’re causing you to be overwhelmed by passion. For what it may be worth: I have trouble not imagining the speaker as female. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/8 "2012-11-11T20:50:49Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I sense that it’s meant to be a compliment, but I’m not sure I understand it. Since I like compliments, and I’m generally a fan of understanding, I’d ask them to 'splain. Same here. I suppose it’s intended to convey that they find that the heat of passion lowers someone’s defenses, and that in the past they often have been disappointed when the other party has let slip (too many Jeckyll/Hyde experiences?), and this time with you what they saw was what they got. Or as mentioned, maybe it’s not a compliment because they _expected_ it to be an opening to What’s Within, and it turns out WYSIWYG. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/9 "2012-11-11T20:53:19Z")
Wait, do they mean you are the same person when you are mid-coitus as you are when you are grocery shopping, or that you are the same when you have a regular partner as when you are having a dry spell? If it’s the former…I guess that depends on what you are like normally. If you are generally a pretty sedate person, it’s not really a compliment. But if you are high-energy and a lot of fun, it could be a good thing. If it’s the latter, I guess I’d see it as a compliment. Some people have trouble balancing relationships or the lack there of and the rest of their life. If it’s someone you are romantically interested in, however, it’s probably a slightly negative testing-the-waters thing. Nobody wants to be with someone who isn’t particularly passionate. But, at the same time, usually when a neutral person brings up sex, it’s because they are contemplating you sexually. I would guess they were throwing out a somewhat ambiguous put-down to see how you react, and perhaps spur you to feel like you need to prove yourself. It could be like how pick-up artists use “negs” like “That dress kind of makes you look like a stewardess” or “Wow, you have really big hands” to throw women off guard and make them easier to manipulate. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/10 "2012-11-11T20:59:52Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Wait, do they mean you are the same person when you are mid-coitus as you are when you are grocery shopping, or that you are the same when you have a regular partner as when you are having a dry spell? > > If it’s the former…I guess that depends on what you are like normally. If you are generally a pretty sedate person, it’s not really a compliment. But if you are high-energy and a lot of fun, it could be a good thing. > > If it’s the latter, I guess I’d see it as a compliment. Some people have trouble balancing relationships or the lack there of and the rest of their life. If it’s someone you are romantically interested in, however, it’s probably a slightly negative testing-the-waters thing. Nobody wants to be with someone who isn’t particularly passionate. > > But, at the same time, usually when a neutral person brings up sex, it’s because they are contemplating you sexually. I would guess they were throwing out a somewhat ambiguous put-down to see how you react, and perhaps spur you to feel like you need to prove yourself. It could be like how pick-up artists use “negs” like “That dress kind of makes you look like a stewardess” or “Wow, you have really big hands” to throw women off guard and make them easier to manipulate. Did you type this on a keyboard adapted for hands that big or did you dictate it to your stewardess slut buddies? ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/11 "2012-11-11T23:47:52Z")
I’d take it as a pretty bizarre comment - you won’t get my “fancy a cup of tea” expression taking over during the above mentioned activities. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/12 "2012-11-11T23:54:39Z")
I guess it would be a compliment. I’m assuming they like how I am when I’m not screwing, so this comment would be a good thing. But really, I dunno, as it’s a pretty weird thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/13 "2012-11-12T00:00:42Z")
I’d say don’t give me this cryptic shit, if you have something to say then say it. They would probably mean something about me being unromantic, which I’m fine with, regardless of how they meant it. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/14 "2012-11-12T00:12:39Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > ‘Bwah’ > > Unless the person is used to a ‘Batman jumping out of the closet.’ type scenario, I’m unclear as to who they think you would turn into when having sex. ::: Pictures **alice** in a Batgirl costume::: … I’m sorry what were we talking about? FTR I agree with Bwah? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/15 "2012-11-12T00:29:49Z")
So what did they mean, “while” as actually stated and therefore in mid-action, or when the person is having sex regularly? Either way, I would assume public speaking isn’t their strong suit… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/16 "2012-11-12T01:53:23Z")
I wouldn’t find it a compliment. Much better to hear about how surprising it is that you morph from a nice, regular guy into a lust-filled demon in the sack. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/17 "2012-11-12T01:53:28Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Without knowing the people involved, I’d guess the speaker means the other person is exceptionally intellectual and analytical and remains so in bed. > > It’s not necessarily a bad thing, as the speaker probably likes the other person – at least enough to sleep with them. However, most people like to see some animal behavior during sex, and to think that they’re causing you to be overwhelmed by passion. > > For what it may be worth: I have trouble not imagining the speaker as female. This is my exact interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/18 "2012-11-12T01:57:02Z")
Another vote for “Bwah?” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/19 "2012-11-12T02:02:31Z")
Given that my real name is Biggie Smalls I would have to say I would be a bit torn. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691/20 "2012-11-12T07:55:41Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I guess it would be a compliment. I’m assuming they like how I am when I’m not screwing, so this comment would be a good thing. But really, I dunno, as it’s a pretty weird thing to say. This is almost my exact logic. The lead-up makes it clear it’s not an insult. Though it does sound sorta like when your partner is just so enamored with you that everything is interesting. Kinda like when this girl thanked me for letting her drive me home. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-sexual-statement-a-compliment-an-insult-or-something-else/640691.md?page=2)