# Is this site for real? (dress codes) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 8, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914 "2006-08-08T20:18:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/1 "2006-08-08T20:18:50Z")
While researching an answer about attire for another thread, I came across this [DBA-Oracle Dress Codes](http://www.dba-oracle.com/dress_code.htm) site which talks about dress codes for jobs, etc. Please look at the pictures and read some of this stuff and tell me if it is for real. One paragraph for men goes as following: > [@](#): > > No Neanderthal-style single eyebrows are allowed, and you should shave any loose hair on your forehead or the palms of your hands. All ear hair must be shaved, and remove any “Admiral Zumwalt” style giant eyebrows. If you must wear a toupee, have it custom fit and glued on securely and no Trump-style comb-over’s, please. Women, don’t feel left out: > [@](#): > > Cosmetics - Do not use the ski-slope approach to cosmetics (that’s 3-inches of powder on top of a 6-inch base). Use no “cheap” perfumes and make sure that you do not offend allergic people with too much perfume odor. Is this serious? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/2 "2006-08-08T20:24:57Z")
I am suprised you would need to ask. I would say no although they probably would frown on some of those things if an employee were to walk in with say, completely unwashed and wild hair or an extreme monobrow. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/3 "2006-08-08T20:39:00Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I am suprised you would need to ask. I would say no although they probably would frown on some of those things if an employee were to walk in with say, completely unwashed and wild hair or an extreme monobrow. I had to look three times at the site. The whole time I was saying that this has to be a joke, but the rest of the site seems so serious. Hmm. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/4 "2006-08-08T20:45:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Grooming - All hair, moustaches and beards must be neatly groomed and cologne must be used sparingly. Protruding nasal hair is prohibited and all tattoos must be fully hidden. If you have been working all-night and have an early morning meeting, you can use an anti-inflammatory hemorrhoid cream (e.g. Preparation H) to quickly shrink those unsightly puffy bags under your eyes. Just carefully dab the ass cream on your lower eyelids (being careful not to get any in your eyes) and you will look fresh and well-rested. While most of the site is patched with obvious attempts at humor, is this real? Can you PrepH your eyebags? ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/5 "2006-08-08T20:47:19Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Can you PrepH your eyebags? When I was a recruiter in the Marines, we would have to have some kids do a body fat tape test. To make their wastes a little thinner, we would rub Preperation H all over their stomachs, wrap them in saran wrap, and keep them that way as long as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/6 "2006-08-08T20:48:29Z")
Look at the pic of Donald Burleson…he looks like he’s been snorting Preparation H. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/7 "2006-08-08T20:51:55Z")
> [@FormerMarineGuy](#): > > To make their wastes a little thinner, :eek: Now, their waists I could understand… ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/8 "2006-08-08T20:57:38Z")
It looks like they’re deadly serious about their staff looking impeccable. I’ve not met Mr. Burleson, but he is very well-known in the Oracle community. They’ve just taken it to comic extreme, but it’s hard to tell where comic ends (no neanderthal eyebrows) and where they mean it. (Mirror-polished black shoes, Corfam shoes are unacceptable) Seems he wants his firm to be known as the Men In Black. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/9 "2006-08-08T21:01:20Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Can you PrepH your eyebags? [Cecil says no.](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990305.html) ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/10 "2006-08-08T21:09:12Z")
Women: “No pants allowed, ever. The [skirt] suit must be dark blue, gray or charcoal.” I recognize he’s playing it as safely as he can, but this just sounds like catering to some 99-year-old CEO demographic. No, sir - women don’t wear trousers _here!_ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/11 "2006-08-08T21:26:59Z")
If you look at the bottom of the left-hand column, you’ll see a set of links labelled Fun. One of them links to this page. Chances are this is their attempt at corporate humor. Plus, looking at the picture of Mike Ault on the Home Page, I’d guess they’re not that strict with the rulings listed here about toupees. Steve Karam’s working the monobrow pretty good, too. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/12 "2006-08-08T21:46:12Z")
How on earth can anyone not think that this is a skit? I mean, you did read the bit about Bush? Or the bit about Scottish clans? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/13 "2006-08-08T22:30:00Z")
Seems a happy and fun place to work. I had a meeting with someone from such a consulting firm who’d just arrived at LAX, from Heathrow, and was wearing a suit because it was a company rule. Given how people usually dress when they fly these days, he must have been the only one so attired on that entire plane. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/14 "2006-08-08T22:36:58Z")
> [@FormerMarineGuy](#): > > Is this serious? Clearly, you guys have never done any conslutting work for financial institutions. The überconservative show-no-sign-of-individuality dress code is mandatory. While his prose style is bombastic and harsh, his guidelines are, in fact, what is expected in that environment (along with the Bush adulation, of course). Stranger (whose employers are just glad he doesn’t show up in a kilt) ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/15 "2006-08-08T22:38:55Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > Look at the pic of Donald Burleson…he looks like he’s been snorting Preparation H. He looks like an Oompa-Loompa. ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/16 "2006-08-09T00:24:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Is this serious? Absolutely. Read the very last part: > [@](#): > > Actually, I don’t set these standards, the clients do. You must conform to the dress codes to enter client site, and it’s not just women. I worked at a bank where employees could not have long hair or beards and you could be reprimanded for wearing a non-white shirt. > > At my own headquarters, there is no, absolutely no, dress code whatsoever This isn’t the dress code for Oracle per se, it’s the dress code for their consultants when they’re out visiting clients, but written in a humorous way. When you’re trying to convince companies that they should put the fate of millions or billions of dollars in your hands, you want to look as serious and businesslike as humanly possible. You shouldn’t be an individual – you should be a ruthless machine concerned with absolutely nothing but increasing the client’s money, and these guidelines help create that image. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/17 "2006-08-09T06:57:42Z")
> [@](#): > > **Stranger** : Clearly, you guys have never done any conslutting work for financial institutions. True. My slutting was always on the up and up. ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/18 "2006-08-09T12:35:03Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > conslutting[/size] That is one of the most excellent typos I have ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/19 "2006-08-09T14:18:08Z")
> [@yBeayf](#): > > This isn’t the dress code for Oracle per se, it’s the dress code for their consultants . . . It’s actually not a dress code for Oracle at all. On second look please note that this is not Oracle’s web site, it’s a consulting firm that specializes in Oracle database support. Their web site says Oracle all over it, though. > [@](#): > > Just carefully dab the ass cream on your lower eyelids . . . Very hard to think this is serious with that kind of language on a \*public \* web site. Reads like The Onion. You can’t let your client see you in a blue shirt, but you can let them read “ass cream” on your web site. Great. > [@](#): > > . . .the quality of perfume is inversely proportional to the price. . . The author apparently knows how to dress but failed math. The problem with something written like this it’s a little hard to find the line between the humor and the real stuff. Certainly there are folks who would find every single line laughable. ---
**Author:** ![FormerMarineGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/65b543/32.png) [@FormerMarineGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerMarineGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914/20 "2006-08-09T14:23:07Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Certainly there are folks who would find every single line laughable. I find it outrageously hysterical, but it seems like an official site with a nice attempt at humor. But, it seems like a legit company, right? So, legit (with humor), or a total joke? I have no clue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-site-for-real-dress-codes/367914.md?page=2)