# Is this statement homophobic? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009 "2011-08-09T00:14:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/81 "2011-08-10T20:43:19Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > _I don’t care what other people do in the privacy of their bedrooms, but I could never have sex with someone of the same sex as me; the idea is so gross that it makes me want to puke._ Commenting on whether or not you could do a certain _act_ is not homophobic… but this slightly modified statement… > [@](#): > > _I don’t care what other people do in the privacy of their bedrooms, but I could never have sex with someone of the same sex as me; the **person** is so gross that **he/she** makes me want to puke._ …is homophobic. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/82 "2011-08-10T20:48:41Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > Commenting on whether or not you could do a certain _act_ is not homophobic… > > but this slightly modified statement… > > …is homophobic. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t quote the OP in such a fashion as to make it seem that I actually voiced that sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/83 "2011-08-10T20:53:39Z")
Sounds like somebody’s thinking about coming out of the closet… ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/84 "2011-08-10T21:18:28Z")
It depends whet you mean by homophobic. This person appears to be disgusted by the thought of homosexual relations, to a degree approaching phobia (if you showed then some gay porn and they actually did throw up, then it would probably be a sign of real, clinical phobia). However, I do not see any sign that they hate gay people or would wish to harm them (or forcibly prevent homosexual activities), which is what homophobia is usually colloquially used to mean. The person seems to recognize the irrationality of their feelings, and (as far as can be judged from this very limited evidence) to have their impulses under control. I see no evidence of hatred. It is even conceivable that speaker might, as a matter of principle, support gay rights, gay marriage etc. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/85 "2011-08-10T21:31:19Z")
> [@AqualungBats5th](#): > > there’s no societally backed notion that straight sex is gross or unnatural. That is simply not true. There is a long-established and powerful tradition in our society (deeply entwined with Christianity, but probably going deeper than that) of thinking, and teaching people to think that even the most plain vanilla straight sex is gross, and even that it is unnatural if not done for the purpose of procreation. It is not as strong as it used to be - you do not get a significant proportion of the population dedicating themselves to a life of celibacy any more, as you did a few centuries ago - but it is undoubtedly still influential on many people, probably most people to some degree. I am confident that quite a lot of straight people find straight sex at least a little bit gross, even if that is not enough to actually stop them doing it when they get half a chance. > [@MrDibble](#): > > No, misogynistic. There’s nothing \*inherent \*in (healthy) vulvas and vaginas that would induce this reaction. Bullshit. People pee out of them. I am a male who enjoys cunilingus, but I can easily see why someone might find it disgusting (likewise fellatio, gay or straight.) ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/86 "2011-08-10T22:12:13Z")
I really hate when people try to read into or project their own politics into others’ words. To those who thought this statement was even remotely homophobic, I invite you to reread the statement (bolding mine): \*\* I\*\* could never have sex with someone of the same sex as **me** ; the idea is so gross that it makes \*\*me \*\*want to puke. No mention of others being forbidden from exercising their freedoms. The speaker talks of themselves having sex with someone of their gender, and the reaction they would have if they did. There is no mentioning of anyone else. So it ends there. No “but that’s means…”. Stop projecting. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/87 "2011-08-10T22:24:30Z")
Well…wouldn’t it be homophobic in a literal sense? WRT the OP, simply finding homosexual sex acts gross isn’t homophobic. However, I think that being so empathetic and outspoken about how gross you think it is may indicate an underlying hostility. That said, I like the show Torchwood and think that’s great that an openly gay character like Capt Jack Harkness is so popular. I still don’t want to see him blowing a guy. ---
**Author:** ![uuaschbaer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/76d3ee/32.png) [@uuaschbaer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uuaschbaer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/88 "2011-08-10T23:07:40Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > I really hate when people try to read into or project their own politics into others’ words. > To those who thought this statement was even remotely homophobic, I invite you to reread the statement (bolding mine): > > \*\* I\*\* could never have sex with someone of the same sex as **me** ; the idea is so gross that it makes \*\*me \*\*want to puke. > > No mention of others being forbidden from exercising their freedoms. The speaker talks of themselves having sex with someone of their gender, and the reaction they would have if they did. There is no mentioning of anyone else. So it ends there. No “but that’s means…”. > > Stop projecting. Sexuality is part of a person’s being. The statement is as: _I don’t care what other people look like in the privacy of their own paper bag over their head, but I could never walk around with such a face; the idea is so gross that it makes me want to puke._ Politics is the discussion of government, something completely extraneous to this discussion which is purely social. This is not about written rules or restrictions of freedom but about the measure of social backlash against asocial behaviour. Stop telling me what to do. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/89 "2011-08-10T23:15:20Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t quote the OP in such a fashion as to make it seem that I actually voiced that sentiment. You didn’t voice that sentiment, and my apologies if it came off that way. I just wanted to focus on the actual statement and how one or two words changes everything. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/90 "2011-08-10T23:21:10Z")
Straight female and it’s not homophobic. It’s a little insensitive, but you’re really only talking about yourself. You’re not saying, “ugh, those faggots make me sick!!!” Just about YOU, personally. (Honestly, the idea of having sex with a woman seems BORING to me, personally.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/91 "2011-08-11T00:04:51Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > You didn’t voice that sentiment, and my apologies if it came off that way. I just wanted to focus on the actual statement and how one or two words changes everything. S’alright. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/92 "2011-08-11T00:20:21Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > Bingo. It’s not the puking part on its own that makes it problematic, though it’s juvenile and crass. It’s the standard -phobe talking point at the beginning: “I don’t care what other people do in the privacy of their bedrooms.” > > The only people who ever say that are exactly the sort of people who do care, and care a lot, what other people do in their bedrooms and care even more if and when we dare to make our sexuality known in the exact same ways that hetero people do, talking about our partners, holding hands when we walk down the street, daring to exchange a kiss where others can see. > > If you don’t care what other people do in their private lives you don’t talk about it. This statement has bigotry shot all the way through it. Yes, yes and yes. If you truly didn’t care, you probably wouldn’t consider it long enough to feel revolted. And yes, people have the right to be revolted by whomever and whatever they want. But they can also shut the hell up about it, especially when it’s expressing that revulsion that lets others – people who may be revolted enough to vote a certain way, or beat up a certain person – know they’re not alone. It reminds me of people who say ‘I don’t care what people do, just don’t hit on me!’ It’s a pre-emptive strike, an assurance that you’re not ‘One of them’ and never will be… even if nobody asked. (It’s slightly different if somebody did specifically ask. Though even then the puking reeks of protesting too much.) Really, are there any homophobes’ whose beliefs don’t truly boil down to ‘Ewww, gross’? (Okay, maybe a few whose boil down to ‘I’m secretly attracted to that so I need to hate on it loudest’). And yeah, there are gay people who can be pretty… I don’t know if I’ll say heterophobic, since if you were afraid of straight people you’d have died of fright long ago. But let’s just say Dan Savage occasionally voices his disgust for female genitals and gets an earful every time. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/93 "2011-08-11T01:08:34Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > Commenting on whether or not you could do a certain _act_ is not homophobic… > > but this slightly modified statement… > > …is homophobic. I am not a moderator but if you are not using an exact quote from a post then you should not use quote tags. Quotes are considered rather sacrosanct on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/94 "2011-08-11T01:29:32Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > And yeah, there are gay people who can be pretty… I don’t know if I’ll say heterophobic, since if you were afraid of straight people you’d have died of fright long ago. But let’s just say Dan Savage occasionally voices his disgust for female genitals and gets an earful every time. Like a couple of other posters mentioned, that isn’t really prejudice against straight people. That’s just garden variety misogyny, which I assure you gay men can demonstrate just as much as straight men can. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/95 "2011-08-11T01:45:29Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > I think that the qualifier “I don’t care what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms…” makes it somewhat homophobic. It implies that they should keep private or at least behave differently than hetero-sexuals. The rest of the comment isn’t. It’s interesting to me that I pinged not on the qualifier, but the language of 'makes me want to puke". I’m straight, but if some gay guy propositioned me, I’d decline it without the intensity of the reaction “makes me want to puke”. The disgust is what pings my ‘homophobic’ radar. I really don’t care what you do, straight, gay, anal, consenual swapping, toys, whatever. But I’m really not all that reactive to whatever it is, either. Saying “I don’t care…” doesn’t imply, I don’t think, any more than a statement of fact. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/96 "2011-08-11T01:54:00Z")
The definition of homophobe is slightly skewed IMO. Saying you want to puke at gay sex is one thing, beating the sh\*t out of someone who is gay and leaving their carcass on the roadside is completely different. Just a thought, but maybe if gays got in touch with their ‘masculine’ side they wouldn’t be so offended at passing comments :rolleyes:. My thing is, if they want to be ‘accepted’ so badly in society, then maybe they should join society and stop being so damn thin-skinned. They won, the USA allowed them rights and people stopped killing them (for the most part), why throw it back at the system and say “it’s not good enough, we want to have gay parades, and you can’t call us ‘fags’”. I just think they should count their coins, run back home, and be freaking happy that they can come out of the ‘closet’. Geez. (I apologize if anyone’s been offended by my rant) ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/97 "2011-08-11T02:03:13Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Like a couple of other posters mentioned, that isn’t really prejudice against straight people. That’s just garden variety misogyny… How do you know? You think it’s impossible for a gay person to feel aversion for _personally engaging_ in het sex on an exactly equivalent basis to a heterosexual person feeling aversion for personally engaging in gay sex? And how can this possibly work if everybody involved in fact likes each other very much, but just doesn’t want to get down in those particular combinations? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/98 "2011-08-11T02:48:05Z")
> [@Bosstrain](#): > > The definition of homophobe is slightly skewed IMO. Saying you want to puke at gay sex is one thing, beating the sh\*t out of someone who is gay and leaving their carcass on the roadside is completely different. Just a thought, but maybe if gays got in touch with their ‘masculine’ side they wouldn’t be so offended at passing comments :rolleyes:. My thing is, if they want to be ‘accepted’ so badly in society, then maybe they should join society and stop being so damn thin-skinned. They won, the USA allowed them rights and people stopped killing them (for the most part), why throw it back at the system and say “it’s not good enough, we want to have gay parades, and you can’t call us ‘fags’”. I just think they should count their coins, run back home, and be freaking happy that they can come out of the ‘closet’. Geez. (I apologize if anyone’s been offended by my rant) I’m straight and your rant isn’t even interesting or intelligent enough to be offensive. It’s simply garden-variety, Joe Plumber, Fox “News” ho-hum-dumb. Also it has nothing to do with the OP. Go back and try again. Thanks for playing, though. Off you go back to you little hole now, m’OK? ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/99 "2011-08-11T02:58:15Z")
I don’t know if it’s homophobic or not (leaning towards not), but my initial instinct is that whoever said it has issues with their sexuality that they need to deal with. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2011, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009/100 "2011-08-11T05:30:18Z")
> [@Bosstrain](#): > > The definition of homophobe is slightly skewed IMO. Saying you want to puke at gay sex is one thing, beating the sh\*t out of someone who is gay and leaving their carcass on the roadside is completely different. Just a thought, but maybe if gays got in touch with their ‘masculine’ side they wouldn’t be so offended at passing comments :rolleyes:. My thing is, if they want to be ‘accepted’ so badly in society, then maybe they should join society and stop being so damn thin-skinned. They won, the USA allowed them rights and people stopped killing them (for the most part), why throw it back at the system and say “it’s not good enough, we want to have gay parades, and you can’t call us ‘fags’”. I just think they should count their coins, run back home, and be freaking happy that they can come out of the ‘closet’. Geez. (I apologize if anyone’s been offended by my rant) Anyone care to start a poll on whether or not _that_ is homophobic? And you do realize that homophobes are closet homosexuals right? [study](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014) > [@](#): > > Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies. I love the claim that homosexuals should feel so relived that people stopped killing them…_for the most part_. Hah!! I don’t think that offers much relief to the LGBT community. And homosexuals don’t want to be called “fags” anymore. I mean come on . Fag isn’t a bad word. I call straight people fags all the time, and I have friends that are gay. I love the inane apology. If you think its something to apologize about, instead of typing “I apologize” you would just delete what you said and not post it. If you still posted it, then you don’t think its something to apologize for, so don’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-statement-homophobic/592009.md?page=6)