# Is this the most intellectual joke in the world? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894 "2002-03-24T21:07:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![jiHymas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/439d5e/32.png) [@jiHymas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jiHymas)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/101 "2002-03-30T03:49:20Z")
The limerick: There once was a man who said: "God Must think it exceedingly odd If he finds that this tree Continues to be When there’s no one about in the Quad. and its answer Dear Sir, Your astonishment’s odd; I am always about in the Quad; And that’s why the tree Will continue to be Since observed by Yours faithfully, God. was attributed to Monsignor Ronald Knox and ‘Anonymous’, respectively, by W. S. Baring-Gold, “The Lure of the Limerick”, 1968. Credit where credit is due, though I will be amazed if the attribution is undisputed. ---
**Author:** ![Skwerl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Skwerl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skwerl)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/102 "2002-03-30T04:07:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FNRFR \* > \*\*Even after reading the explanation of the OP joke, it still doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand what switching “what” with “which” has to do with pedantry. \*\* My guess is that a pedant would say to be grammatically correct you should say “Which Tyler?” Like, “Tyler did it.” “Which Tyler?” ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/103 "2002-03-30T04:23:55Z")
For the legal beagles: There was a young lawyer named Rex with a diminutive organ of sex. When charged with exposure, he replied with composure: _“De minimis non curat lex.”_ I got that one off William Safire, many moons ago. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/104 "2002-03-30T05:53:59Z")
Why do white sheep eat more grass than black sheep? Because there are so many more white sheep. How do you keep a werewolf from going crazy on Halloween night? Shoot him in September. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/105 "2002-03-30T06:05:12Z")
Wait, I got one more! A rabbi, a priest, a cowboy, a duck, and a string walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “What is this, some kind of joke?” ---
**Author:** ![Theobroma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@Theobroma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theobroma)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/106 "2002-03-30T06:18:50Z")
The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/107 "2002-03-30T06:39:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Theobroma \* > \*\*The pessimist says the glass is half empty. > > The optimist says the glass is half full. > > The engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. \*\* …and my mother would have said, “Who’s been drinking out of that?” “Hello, I must be going.” --Groucho Marx ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/108 "2002-03-30T07:18:56Z")
How many Freudian therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to hold the penis … uh, I mean the **ladder!** ---
**Author:** ![korath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@korath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/korath)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/109 "2002-03-30T07:38:35Z")
One day Satan Challenged Jesus to a contest. Jesus chose a contest of best computer users. SO, with God being the Judge, they set to it. For 7 hours and 55 minutes they both made spreadsheets, typed documents, surfed webpages, and installed software, etc. 5 Minutes before the contest was to end, the power went out. After another 5 minutes, God declared Jesus the winner. Satan protested loudly “How can this be? We only had 5 minutes to do stuff after the power came back on!” Whereby God replied" Yes, But Jesus saves!"😛 ---
**Author:** ![ThePyroWeasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/54ee81/32.png) [@ThePyroWeasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThePyroWeasel)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/110 "2002-03-30T10:50:43Z")
Yay! I’m so happy to see that **Lemur** knows that joke! That’s my other favorite joke in the world. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/111 "2002-03-30T14:08:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnBckWLD \* > \*\* > The first one I got…except the punchline I heard was, “Mom, you’re a bitch.” \*\* I’ve actually constructed a joke similar to this (in my stand-up, I have a few jokes about religion). But my theory was that when Jesus said “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone,” he was actually saying, “Hey, guys! Me first!” ---
**Author:** ![Schnitte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/schnitte/32/9033_2.png) [@Schnitte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schnitte)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/112 "2002-03-30T15:17:37Z")
Voilà a historical one: Stalin, Hitler and Tito are sitting in a taxi, approaching a crossroads. The cab driver asks them where to go. Stalin: “Being a communist, I of course demand we turn left.” Hitler: “No, no, no, we’ll turn right!” Tito: “Set the trafficator left and then turn right.” Or, from the 1930s: When will Europe finally be saved? When Stalin’s widow tells Hitler on his deathbed that Franco died from a heart attack during Mussolini’s funeral. [sub]OK, I know nobody cracked laughing, but this thread is sooo long anyway…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/113 "2002-03-30T17:03:55Z")
To follow along with **Bob Scene** ’s post: A Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/114 "2002-03-30T19:42:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by masonite \* > \*\*For the legal beagles: > > There was a young lawyer named Rex > with a diminutive organ of sex. > When charged with exposure, > he replied with composure: > _“De minimis non curat lex.”_ > > I got that one off William Safire, many moons ago. \*\* My Latin is a little bit weak. What’s that last line mean? ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/115 "2002-03-30T19:46:09Z")
Q. What do I know about French philosophers? A. Foucault. ---
**Author:** ![jiHymas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/439d5e/32.png) [@jiHymas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jiHymas)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/116 "2002-03-30T22:33:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuperNova \* > \*\* > “…De minimus non curat lex.” > > My Latin is a little bit weak. What’s that last line mean? \*\* “The law is not concerned with trifles”. I believe that this limerick was also a favourite of Anthony Burgess. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/117 "2002-03-30T23:08:53Z")
This is another favorite that passes for an intelligence test, but doesn’t work well in print. The nice thing is, I can usually get a good head start: A termite walks into a bar and says “Is the bartender here?” [Adjust spacing to make joke clearer] CJ Ducking and running for the hills! ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/118 "2002-03-30T23:22:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skwerl \* > \*\* > > My guess is that a pedant would say to be grammatically correct you should say “Which Tyler?” Like, “Tyler did it.” “Which Tyler?” \*\* It still doesn’t make sense to me. Somehow peasant is changed to pedant, and the answer Watt is changed to What?, and then a pedant would modify What? to the grammatically correct Which? That’s not very funny. ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/119 "2002-03-31T00:25:22Z")
What did Ludwig von Beethoven do after he died? He decomposed. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894/120 "2002-03-31T00:36:07Z")
okay, i didn’t get this one at first either, but i do find it funny. dig this: pretend you know all the background of the joke (what you wrote in your last post), but haven’t heard the joke before. i ask you the lead-in, which (unbeknownst to you at the moment, is a pun (not everyone’s cup of tea, puns, but still a respected genre of humour)) goes as follows: “Who lead the pedants’ revolt?” so you search your mind for an answer, but an answer that’s funny, too (after all, this is a joke i’m telling). ‘Pedants, pedants, hmm. i know much about pedants and assorted pedantery. who is a notable pedant? Safire? No, that’s not funny… hm.’ i tell you “Which Tyler?” you look at me puzzled for a tick, and then your inner pedant kicks in (or, should i say, ‘and then in which your inner pedant kicks’). “Haw haw!” you guffaw, realizing of course that “pedants’” was a pun, because when i answer the riddle by asking “Which Tyler?”, you think of famous Tyler’s, and then think of Watt Tyler, and quickly jump to the conclusion that 'Of course, another pun! How exceedingly clever?!" … dammit. this is why i don’t explain Far Side’s. jb [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-the-most-intellectual-joke-in-the-world/99894.md?page=7)