# Is this waitperson behavior presumptuous or helpful? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 11, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724 "2012-12-11T18:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/21 "2012-12-11T19:24:40Z")
Weirdly, [Detroit pizza](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detroit-style_pizza) is frequently square. And then there’s always [square-cut pizza](http://adventuresinsyracuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/square_cut_pizza_01.jpg) to throw a wrench into the mix as well. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/22 "2012-12-11T19:25:05Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > No, none of those things would bother me (though I don’t drink wine, eat Caesar salad or want fresh ground pepper, so they’re all irrelevant for me personally). The reason #4 bothers me is me being kind of OCD, I guess–different slices are different sizes, have different amounts of relative toppings (for example, one might have more mushrooms and less Canadian bacon, or the opposite), and I always like the first slice the best because it’s still piping hot and gooey. > > I readily admit it’s irrational. But **given that waiters are in the business of making their customers happy in exchange for tips** (I still tip well even if they do this–they have no way to know of my irrationality if I don’t tell them!) **I’d like a way to mention it offhand without looking like a twit.** > > Or…we just go to our favorite pizza places where they don’t try to pick our slices for us, and it’s no longer an issue. 🙂 I don’t think any reasonable server would think you’re a twit, or even get mildly annoyed, if you just said “thanks, but I got it” or something like that in a friendly manner. As you said, for servers a big part of the serving style is a: because that’s how they’re told to do it at that particular establishment, and b: they _want_ to give you good service - however you reasonably define it - for a good tip. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/23 "2012-12-11T19:30:08Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > Weirdly, [Detroit pizza](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detroit-style_pizza) is frequently square. And then there’s always [square-cut pizza](http://adventuresinsyracuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/square_cut_pizza_01.jpg) to throw a wrench into the mix as well. Interesting! I’ve lived a little over an hour north of Detroit for 11 years, and have truly never encountered this in a restaurant. Although now that you mention it, I take back what I said in an earlier post. I’ve been at events where lunch was delivered by[Jet’s Pizza,](http://jetspizza.com/menu/pizza) and yes, they did have square pizzas. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/24 "2012-12-11T19:30:24Z")
Hey germaphobes, how about this: At my favorite beer place, with ~45 beers on draft, I ordered a glass of a new, unusual beer. Bartender poured it, then took a tiny sip before putting it down in front of me. Would thaty bother you? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/25 "2012-12-11T19:34:35Z")
Yeah, I have to vote for anal. I went to a fancy restaurant once where they brought me a little stool to put my purse on. Would that bother you? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/26 "2012-12-11T19:36:39Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Yeah, I have to vote for anal. It is because secretly I am 12 years old, but this made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/27 "2012-12-11T19:37:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey germaphobes, how about this: > > At my favorite beer place, with ~45 beers on draft, I ordered a glass of a new, unusual beer. Bartender poured it, then took a tiny sip before putting it down in front of me. Would thaty bother you? I’m not a germophobe. If I was a regular and knew the bar tender it wouldn’t bother me. If I walked into a new joint and the bar tender did this I’d think it was a little odd, but I’d still drink the beer no problem. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/28 "2012-12-11T19:37:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey germaphobes, how about this: > > At my favorite beer place, with ~45 beers on draft, I ordered a glass of a new, unusual beer. Bartender poured it, then took a tiny sip before putting it down in front of me. Would thaty bother you? Is this a trick question? 😃 Maybe next he’ll spit in it! ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/29 "2012-12-11T19:41:25Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey germaphobes, how about this: > > At my favorite beer place, with ~45 beers on draft, I ordered a glass of a new, unusual beer. Bartender poured it, then took a tiny sip before putting it down in front of me. Would thaty bother you? I think I’d be put off at by this, even at my regular watering hole. And I can’t figure out what the reason for it is. Maybe it’s a beer that’s not commonly ordered so he was checking to see if it had “turned”? Then why wouldn’t he pull himself a little shot into a rocks glass or something? Regarding the OP: none of those things would bother me. What about waiters that comb the table between courses? Does that bother anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/30 "2012-12-11T19:41:56Z")
All four are various forms of “service” and wouldn’t bother me a bit. The one thing that does, however, is removing my plate before I’m done. I’m a slow eater, when I’m done my knife and fork go on the plate pointed at my right elbow signaling that the plate can now be removed. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/31 "2012-12-11T19:43:52Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey germaphobes, how about this: > > At my favorite beer place, with ~45 beers on draft, I ordered a glass of a new, unusual beer. Bartender poured it, then took a tiny sip before putting it down in front of me. Would thaty bother you? I’m not a germophobe in the slightest. Hell yeah, thaty would bother me. Seriously? I wouldn’t want my ice cream parlor person taking a lick of my ice cream cone either. That’s just wrong, and I would get a place shut down for that shit. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/32 "2012-12-11T19:45:58Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > It is because secretly I am 12 years old, but this made me laugh and laugh and laugh. > > I’m sorry. :o (Oh, dear, I think I just made it worse.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/33 "2012-12-11T19:46:18Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’m not a germophobe. If I was a regular and knew the bar tender it wouldn’t bother me. Yep, she’s a friend and it did not faze me. With super high end beers “regulars” will often offer their glass to the bartender or fellow drinkers to try a sip. The only faux pas is taking a BIG sip. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/34 "2012-12-11T19:49:17Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > :o > > (Oh, dear, I think I just made it worse.) Now I’m giggling. Stop it. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/35 "2012-12-11T19:57:30Z")
About having the pizza served to your plate, was it delivered on a platter that might have been hot? Perhaps the waitstaff are trying to prevent burnt customers? ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/36 "2012-12-11T19:59:16Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > It is because secretly I am 12 years old, but this made me laugh and laugh and laugh. > > I’m sorry. Someone should claim it as their signature. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/37 "2012-12-11T20:02:15Z")
I doubt I would even notice any of those actions. Part of the fun of going out is that it’s a chance to try different things. Each dinner out is a micro vacation, after all you can always make dinner at home and do it the same way every time. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/38 "2012-12-11T20:02:59Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Interesting! > I’ve lived a little over an hour north of Detroit for 11 years, and have truly never encountered this in a restaurant. > Although now that you mention it, I take back what I said in an earlier post. I’ve been at events where lunch was delivered by[Jet’s Pizza,](http://jetspizza.com/menu/pizza) and yes, they did have square pizzas. That’s closer to the cafeteria/institutional model of food service. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/39 "2012-12-11T20:20:59Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > That’s closer to the cafeteria/institutional model of food service. Yes, yes it is. I’m not even sure they have sit-down service and I highly doubt they have servers, if they do. Also I notice it’s not a Midwest chain specifically; they appear to be all over the south too. As to a bartender taking a sip of a beer before handing it to me…I’m not a beer drinker and absolutely not a germaphobe but I would be somewhat startled by that. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/40 "2012-12-11T20:23:18Z")
> [@For You](#): > > About having the pizza served to your plate, was it delivered on a platter that might have been hot? Perhaps the waitstaff are trying to prevent burnt customers? Not in my case. The pizza platter was put on one of those elevated platforms, and served with a wooden-handled pizza server. I suppose it would have been _possible_ to burn ourselves, but it would have taken a serious lack of dexterity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724.md?page=3)