# Is this waitperson behavior presumptuous or helpful? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 11, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724 "2012-12-11T18:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/41 "2012-12-11T20:24:57Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > As to a bartender taking a sip of a beer before handing it to me…I’m not a beer drinker and absolutely not a germaphobe but I would be somewhat startled by that. I would think that would be a big time health code violation. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/42 "2012-12-11T20:27:28Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I went to a fancy restaurant once where they brought me a little stool to put my purse on. Would that bother you? That depends—how much stool did they bring you? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/43 "2012-12-11T20:30:08Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > That’s closer to the cafeteria/institutional model of food service. I’m surprised that no one has called square (or really, rectangular) pizzas Sicilian yet. Around here that’s just another style that almost every pizzeria offers as an option. Or am I thinking of something else? ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/44 "2012-12-11T20:31:07Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > That depends—how much stool did they bring you? Now _I’m_ giggling. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/45 "2012-12-11T20:36:52Z")
We’re all just a bunch of 12 year olds. Let’s go get some ice cream! ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/46 "2012-12-11T20:38:51Z")
None of these things bother me, and I guarantee you they are all thought up by management as a way to “better serve the customer.” I bet the waiters hate it. When i waited tables, I had a certain protocol I had to adhere to via management and I hated most of it. Like “upselling,” suggesting certain kinds of liquor, certain appetizers, a particular special on that fish we need to get rid of…trust me, the waiter doesn’t want to do it any more than you want it done. So I hope you cut them some slack and still tip well. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/47 "2012-12-11T20:39:32Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > As to a bartender taking a sip of a beer before handing it to me…I’m not a beer drinker and absolutely not a germaphobe but I would be somewhat startled by that. Hey, we’re all friends. A couple years back a few of us went in on a bottle of Utopias (It was around $150.00). After the guys who chipped in had their initial taste, we all offered our little glasses to other “regulars” to try a sip. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/48 "2012-12-11T20:56:14Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey, we’re all friends. A couple years back a few of us went in on a bottle of Utopias (It was around $150.00). After the guys who chipped in had their initial taste, we all offered our little glasses to other “regulars” to try a sip. Wait - ONE bottle of beer was $150? :eek: (Yes. I just googled it.) If I was with friends at a coffee shop where they were selling that [insanely expensive coffee pooped out by goats](http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/chewed-before-its-brewed-the-worlds-most-expensive-coffee-6160086.html), I’d be tempted to share too. “Hey, try some of this shit!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/49 "2012-12-11T20:57:17Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey, we’re all friends. A couple years back a few of us went in on a bottle of Utopias (It was around $150.00). After the guys who chipped in had their initial taste, we all offered our little glasses to other “regulars” to try a sip. That’s different than a server dipping his germs into your food or drink. I couldn’t imagine a server bringing me a meal and taking a bite out of my corn on the cob just before setting my plate down. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/50 "2012-12-11T21:06:32Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Wait - ONE bottle of beer was $150? :eek: > > (Yes. I just googled it.) If I was with friends at a coffee shop where they were selling that [insanely expensive coffee pooped out by goats](http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/chewed-before-its-brewed-the-worlds-most-expensive-coffee-6160086.html), I’d be tempted to share too. “Hey, try some of this shit!” 😃 Kopi Luwak is old school. All the cool kids are drinking Black Ivory coffee. > **[Coffee from an elephant's gut fills a $50 cup](https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/sciencefair/2012/12/07/coffee-elephants-dung/1753385/)** > > The coffee is made in Thailand from beans eaten and excreted by elephants. The only thing that would bother me about the OPs annoyances is #1. Now maybe I just haven’t been to a fancy enough restuarant but I’ve never had a server put the napkin in my lap. Is it common? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/51 "2012-12-11T21:13:39Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey, we’re all friends. A couple years back a few of us went in on a bottle of Utopias (It was around $150.00). After the guys who chipped in had their initial taste, we all offered our little glasses to other “regulars” to try a sip. It’s worth it to buy a share of Sam Adams and go to the shareholders meeting. They served us Utopia (albeit in tiny glasses) and you could have as many as you wanted. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/52 "2012-12-11T21:16:14Z")
#3 is exactly the way it should be. Assuming everyone ordered soup, the waiter is assuming you each want a bowl. Anything additional is up to each person. The other 3 aren’t worth thinking about, let alone starting a thread. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/53 "2012-12-11T21:21:08Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Kopi Luwak is old school. All the cool kids are drinking Black Ivory coffee. > > [USA TODAY](http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/sciencefair/2012/12/07/coffee-elephants-dung/1753385/) I stand corrected. And, eww. How silly. ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/54 "2012-12-11T21:23:25Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Really, square? That’s interesting. I’ve certainly had square pizza, but I didn’t know that was the norm in the Midwest. Midwest pizza is a pizza variety that is also called Detroit pizza, or St Louis style pizza. It is rectangular and is cut into small squares. The dough is thin, buttery and almost crackerlike in texture. The sauce is a little sweet and the cheese varies by city. In St Louis the cheese is a smoky cheddary type. For those in the DC area Ledo’s serves a Midwestern style pizza. It seems Midwestern pizza has gotten less popular in the midwest and new york style pizza is taking over. None of the four seems out of bounds to me. My first and probably only trip to a high end restaurant schocked me how much the waiters set and unset the table. It bothers me when the waitress does not dish out the first slice of pizza. You can still ask for a specific slice, I am sure she would give that one to you. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/55 "2012-12-11T21:24:51Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > The only thing that would bother me about the OPs annoyances is #1. Now maybe I just haven’t been to a fancy enough restuarant but I’ve never had a server put the napkin in my lap. > > Is it common? Pretty common at every nicer restaurant I have been to. And it is folded and put on your chair if you get up and leave it on the table too. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/56 "2012-12-11T21:31:03Z")
The pizza thing is very common at Chicago area deep-dish type places, like Giordano’s or Lou Malnati’s. I usually have it happen with a big round deep dish, but I never order their square cut thin crust. Seriously though, is one piece of pizza THAT different from the others? They must all be pretty similar on average (we’re talking pizzeria here, not a frozen pizza at home that only comes with 6 slices of olives). I can’t imagine getting this upset about getting 1 less pepperoni slice than the person next to me. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/57 "2012-12-11T21:44:55Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > The other 3 aren’t worth thinking about, let alone starting a thread. \ Apparently some disagree. But hey, whatever works for you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/58 "2012-12-11T21:56:18Z")
> [@Hakuna\_Matata](#): > > Pretty common at every nicer restaurant I have been to. And it is folded and put on your chair if you get up and leave it on the table too. Interesting. I’m going to have to go one of those some day. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/59 "2012-12-11T21:57:22Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > \ > > Apparently some disagree. But hey, whatever works for you. 🙂 To be fair, about 54 of those responses agree with panache. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/60 "2012-12-11T21:58:33Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > To be fair, about 54 of those responses agree with panache. Well, yes, that’s a good argument that I’m an anal-retentive old fogey, but not a good argument that there was no point in starting the thread. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724.md?page=4)