# Is this waitperson behavior presumptuous or helpful? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 11, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724 "2012-12-11T18:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/101 "2012-12-15T17:50:34Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t hold the server responsible for dirty tableware Happy to hear it! Now if only you were the norm!😃 But in the industry the server _is_ considered responsible for dirty cutlery and even food that _looks_ awful. The saying goes, ‘if it looks good and isn’t, it’s the cooks fault, if it looks bad and is, it’s the waiter’s fault’. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/102 "2012-12-16T06:00:32Z")
All of the things are annoying. I just want the waitperson to drop off my food and go away, not asking me any irrelevant questions or pretending to like me. I don’t want my water “topped off” every few sips, I don’t want to be asked how anything is, and I definitely don’t want them handling my napkin, silverware, serving my soup, or choosing my pizza. I understand that some people want this type of treatment and that there is no magic way for them to know how little I want them hovering around, so I keep my annoyance to myself. When they question me as to whether I am “still working on” the food on my plate, I cringe inside. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/103 "2012-12-16T13:11:10Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > All of the things are annoying. I just want the waitperson to drop off my food and go away, not asking me any irrelevant questions or pretending to like me. I don’t want my water “topped off” every few sips, I don’t want to be asked how anything is, and I definitely don’t want them handling my napkin, silverware, serving my soup, or choosing my pizza. I understand that some people want this type of treatment and that there is no magic way for them to know how little I want them hovering around, so I keep my annoyance to myself. When they question me as to whether I am “still working on” the food on my plate, I cringe inside. Consider take-out? ---
**Author:** ![Av8trix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/90db22/32.png) [@Av8trix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Av8trix)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/104 "2012-12-16T13:44:39Z")
Worked at a pizza joint for many years. #4 was our SOP, but that was because the pizza was served to the table in the pan it was baked in, so it was fresh from a near 600 degree oven. We had a special pan gripping tool we carried the pizza to the table with, and served that first slice. By the time someone was ready for a second slice, the pan would have cooled enough to wrangle a slice for themselves. Edit: This thingie: [http://www.missionrs.com/I-9540.html?lid=98195356&ibp-adgroup=i00600002&gdftrk=gdfV24041\_a\_7c2083\_a\_7c8714\_a\_7cI\_d\_9540&gclid=CNTX-MWHn7QCFUqoPAod1XAA\_A](http://www.missionrs.com/I-9540.html?lid=98195356&ibp-adgroup=i00600002&gdftrk=gdfV24041_a_7c2083_a_7c8714_a_7cI_d_9540&gclid=CNTX-MWHn7QCFUqoPAod1XAA_A) ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724/105 "2012-12-16T13:50:49Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > I have been in a Chinese home where soup was served in a communal dish. I was nervous and my Chinese friend was telling me how much fun she would have watching me try to not commit the sin of dripping, between the communal soup bowl in the centre of the table, and my mouth. She had me quite nervous by dinner time. But when we sat down her Mom, had very graciously provided a separate bowl for me, so I would not embarrass myself. Much to my friend’s disappointment! Soup was served exactly this way many times while I was there. And they never once dripped!😃 > > So yes, it is still practiced among families. Less so when eating out. The Chinese are nothing if not a varied people! Very interesting. I’ve always thought it must be bizarre for Chinese restaurant owners to adapt to US expectations for Chinese food and how entirely different table manners and eating customs are here. Then again, I’ve seen some pretty strange interpretations of “Western food” in China, so I guess it goes both ways. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-this-waitperson-behavior-presumptuous-or-helpful/643724.md?page=5)