Sounds way cool!
That’s funny - they’re star-shaped here. 
I’m a very slow eater, too (almost always the last one still eating at a table), and not only do they try to take my plate before I’m finished (I’m wise to their ways now and they rarely get it), it bugs the shit out of me when they take everyone else’s plates and leave me eating by myself. Yeah, let’s make it super-obvious that I’m the slowest eater here! Awesome!
Sweet!
None of the four things in the OP would bother me. I don’t want anyone sipping my drink, though.
That’s a lose-lose situation for the waitstaff, since its generally considered bad form to leave dirty dishes sitting on the table for too long.
I have never seen any waiter do any of these things, and I’ve eaten at Red Lobster, several Chinese restaurants, and a few pizza places regularly. OTOH, my husband and I always get different types of soup at the Chinese places.
None of them would really bother me if they did happen.
Well, like I said, the Red Lobster one was an aberration–it was one waiter. None of the others ever did it.
The waiter placing your napkin on your lap happens in places where your worried about your cc maxing out.:D. The kind of place where there are entrees without specific prices. The kinda place where you have a waiter, a sommelier, a guy who sweeps or scrapes crumbs off the table between courses, etc. Sometimes you can even get pretty decent food as well at these joints.
In response to the OP - #3 is strange but the other things wouldn’t bother me.
In response to square pizza discussion - I grew up in NJ where thin crust pizza is the default pizza. But sicilian pizza is an option at some places. It is deep dish, rectangular and awesome. I imagine this may be a NY/NJ thing.
As far as my bartender taking a sip of my beer - that would cause me to exchange loud words, probably some cursing as well. I mean c’mon man, find a small glass, have a sip, try the new beer. Don’t drink mine.
Yeah, and if you’re with one other person, surely the polite thing to do is offer him or her the choice of first slice. And if it’s a group of you, you get whatever the hell is available when it’s your turn.
I’m reminded of a Flintstones episode: two pieces of cake on a plate, Barney takes the big one, and leaves Fred with the little slice.
Fred: “Hey what’s the matter with you, taking the big slice?”
Barney: “So? What would you have done?”
Fred: “I would have been a gentleman and taken the smaller piece.”
Barney: “Well, you got it didn’t you? So what are you complaining about?”
I vote 'Fuddy duddy" in the most non insulting way possible. 
Yeah, I suppose. The three hundredth time it happened to me*, though, I was a bit irritated. 
*Not in the same night.
Same here.
Now if the waiter began to cut my food into tiny pieces for me …
1 violates my personal space. Brother does that and he’s looking for a fight.
2 isn’t something I’d like. Who knows what he just touched? I probably wouldn’t say anything, though, unless I was a regular.
3 and 4 I honestly think of as de rigueur. YMMV.
He’s your waiter. He’s been handling your actual food and he’s also the one who rolled the silverware in the napkin to begin with.
Yeah, but I sort of assume that folks rolling silverware wash their hands immediately prior. The folks at my local Village Inn do, anyway.
As I said, I wouldn’t say anything unless I was a regular.
Here’s a novel concept, unbunch your panties and put the slice he picked back and pick a different one. Problem solved!! The waiter doesn’t even have to know.
You think they wash their hands when rolling silverware, but not when handling your food, plates, glasses and silverware? If you’re at all grossed out by where the hands of food service professionals have been, you probably shouldn’t be eating outside your home.
It’s like saying, “I’m not eating this salad. I don’t know where the cook’s hands have been!”
I guess that explains why I’ve never seen a server do this (though I’ve eaten at places where they swept the crumbs off the tablecloth before dessert). I would not appreciate the waiter putting the napkin in my lap, or doing anything remotely suggestive of “correcting” my obscenely informal table manners. What’s next - knocking my offending elbow off the table or taking away a utensil as I’m using it and substituting the proper one? :dubious:
They aren’t doing it to correct your behavior, nor does it feel like that.
I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one, mate 
The OP asked the question, I answered, and it’s not worth arguing about.
I worked in a restaurant when we handled the silverware, we did it via you know the handles never the part that goes in your mouth.
As for the OP. I find none of that odd or annoying. Maybe stick to fast food joints.