# Is tickling ok **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 15, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842 "2012-04-15T14:43:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JerriJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JerriJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerriJ)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/1 "2012-04-15T14:43:30Z")
I think at some point or another every one of us have been tickled by either a sibling, cousin, parent, friend, etc. I think some of us may have a story or two of being tickled longer than we want which makes us want to squirm away. Is it ok to tickle someone or does it completely depend on the context, how long they do it. I myself was tickled as a kid by an older brother and it was bothersome but I was laughing so it appeared to be ok. Any thoughts, stories, etc? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/2 "2012-04-15T15:07:32Z")
This is a fetish thing isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/3 "2012-04-15T15:13:25Z")
Depends on the context. Some people like it. For others, it’s painful. My daughter, for example, is extremely ticklish like I am. I adore tickling her and she generally enjoys it, too, but when she shows any signs of not enjoying it, I stop. If she feels like being tickled, she’ll usually say, “Kickle me,” (she’s 2.5); if she doesn’t, she’ll shy away a bit. If in the middle of a tickle fight, she stops laughing, tickling is over. My son, on the other hand, is extremely ticklish, too, but he loathes being tickled most of the time. So I rarely do it. On the unlikely occasions where he enjoys it, it’s not a big part of the interaction. In other words, I’m not going to hold him down just to tickle him; it’s more the threat (fingers wiggling at him as though I’m about to do it) he enjoys. I very much respect that. When I was little I had a friend who held me down and tickled me until I peed on her doorstep. It was awful and painful embarrassing and I was screaming at her to stop and crying but she wouldn’t. I actually had nightmares of being tickled after that. It seems incredibly stupid and contrary to what one might believe, but tickling can be torture. ---
**Author:** ![AqualungBats5th](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@AqualungBats5th](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AqualungBats5th)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/4 "2012-04-15T15:27:53Z")
Like with any behavior where we’re touching another person, if it’s consentual and wanted then it’s okay. If it isn’t, then you stop immediately (or don’t start in the first place if you know it’s unwelcome) - otherwise it’s the opposite of okay. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/5 "2012-04-15T15:28:30Z")
Tickling is fun when coupled with other physical play and rough-housing. Tickling is often not fun when it comes out of the blue, is initiated by a non-intimate, and you have a full bladder. I once read that laughing in response to tickling is a reflex. Assuming this is true, it shouldn’t be assumed that the person being tickled enjoys it. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/6 "2012-04-15T15:39:09Z")
Tickling is one of the ways I was molested in plain site of other people so, for me, I don’t tickle and I feel anxious and uncomfortable if someone is really tickling a child. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/7 "2012-04-15T17:02:48Z")
[Old poll here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539318&highlight=tickled). I was severely shocked at how many people voted “hate it” (the lowest possibly rating)-54%. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/8 "2012-04-15T18:01:45Z")
I used to tickle SWMBO. Notice the past tense. I didn’t get the message to stop. So she made me. A hard shot to the jugular notch and I went airborne, wound up on the other side of the room trying to breathe. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/9 "2012-04-15T18:17:03Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > [Old poll here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=539318&highlight=tickled). I was severely shocked at how many people voted “hate it” (the lowest possibly rating)-54%. I’ve never met anyone who enjoys being tickled so I’m more surprised that anyone said they love it. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/10 "2012-04-15T18:22:35Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I used to tickle SWMBO. Notice the past tense. > > I didn’t get the message to stop. So she made me. A hard shot to the jugular notch and I went airborne, wound up on the other side of the room trying to breathe. Whoa. I’m beginning to get the idea of why S absolutely MBO. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/11 "2012-04-15T18:35:21Z")
I like it because the look on their face is priceless when they realize I am not ticklish in the least. Not even a little bit. They think I’m holding it in but I have not one area on my body that reacts. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/12 "2012-04-15T18:37:55Z")
Tickling is like sex. When you want it or are in the mood for it it is great. When you are not it’s pretty damn bad (but not as bad as handshake rape). ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/13 "2012-04-15T19:08:25Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Depends on the context. Some people like it. For others, it’s painful. > > My daughter, for example, is extremely ticklish like I am. I adore tickling her and she generally enjoys it, too, but when she shows any signs of not enjoying it, I stop. If she feels like being tickled, she’ll usually say, “Kickle me,” (she’s 2.5); if she doesn’t, she’ll shy away a bit. If in the middle of a tickle fight, she stops laughing, tickling is over. > > My son, on the other hand, is extremely ticklish, too, but he loathes being tickled most of the time. So I rarely do it. On the unlikely occasions where he enjoys it, it’s not a big part of the interaction. In other words, I’m not going to hold him down just to tickle him; it’s more the threat (fingers wiggling at him as though I’m about to do it) he enjoys. The Firebug, now 4.5 years old, frequently enjoys being tickled, and will often ask me to tickle him. But (a) I’ll stop the instant he tells me to, and (b) I wouldn’t dream of holding him down while I’m tickling him; he always has the physical freedom to pull away even if he can’t manage a ‘no’ or ‘stop’ due to involuntary laughter. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/14 "2012-04-15T19:38:10Z")
As an aside, I don’t understand people who can turn ticklishness on and off at will. My husband can do this, as can my daughter. It continually amazes me. For me and my son, being ticklish isn’t a choice. We just are. It sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/15 "2012-04-15T23:20:34Z")
I had several older siblings, so I trained myself to be not ticklish when I was very young. This had the humorous side effect of depriving teenaged boys of one of their most potent flirtation methods :D. It seems like the excessive tickling I’ve witnessed was always performed by boys or men, including fathers, uncles, and grandfathers. I’ve just now realized that I can’t recall seeing such behavior by girls or women. Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/16 "2012-04-15T23:31:00Z")
I was tickled daily by an older brother and it was not fun after the first 30 seconds except for him. He also twisted my arm behind my back every day and that shit hurt bad. I later had to have a torn rotator cuff fixed and wonder if that relentless arm twisting caused the problems. This was every day for years. He loved it. I am surprised my parents and other siblings did not put a stop to it. It was child abuse it my mind. Nothing at all sexual just physical abuse. Poor me. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/17 "2012-04-15T23:59:47Z")
This is probably going to attract some flames, but my daughter has a safe word. _shrug_ She loves to be tickled…sometimes. And she loves to squeal “no, no, let me go!” and she loves to kick and wiggle. But the second she says, “Please!” It means, no, really, stop. Please. Same thing for turning her upside down or swinging her in a circle or other rough play. “Stop, please!” means stop, and it happens immediately, no questions asked, no “one more for good measure.” I know some people will think that’s weird and inappropriate, simply because “safe words” are mostly associated with sex play, but whatevs. It keeps both of us happy and safe, emotionally and physically. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/18 "2012-04-16T00:52:13Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > This is probably going to attract some flames, but my daughter has a safe word. _shrug_ She loves to be tickled…sometimes. And she loves to squeal “no, no, let me go!” and she loves to kick and wiggle. > > But the second she says, “Please!” It means, no, really, stop. Please. Same thing for turning her upside down or swinging her in a circle or other rough play. “Stop, please!” means stop, and it happens immediately, no questions asked, no “one more for good measure.” > > I know some people will think that’s weird and inappropriate, simply because “safe words” are mostly associated with sex play, but whatevs. It keeps both of us happy and safe, emotionally and physically. This is what it was like when my sister and I were little. We used to beg my dad to tickle us or swing us. We didn’t have a “safe word” per se, but my dad seems to always know when to stop. When I got to be in upper elementary school, tickling (or just poking in the ribs) seemed to be a “thing” for boys to do to girls. I trained myself out of being ticklish because if I didn’t react they didn’t do it again. I have been happily not ticklish for 30+ years. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/19 "2012-04-16T01:22:54Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I used to tickle SWMBO. Notice the past tense. > > I didn’t get the message to stop. So she made me. A hard shot to the jugular notch and I went airborne, wound up on the other side of the room trying to breathe. I hit my husband in the face when he was tickling me. He doesn’t tickle me anymore, but he still doesn’t get it and thinks he was the victim in the situation. No matter how much I tell him that it feels _to me_ like abuse he doesn’t understand. But at least he doesn’t tickle me. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842/20 "2012-04-16T01:41:31Z")
It can go from “nice” to “I’ll like to crush and completely fracture your fingers” really fast. Curiously, with my immediate family (mom, dad, brother), it’s usually not a problem. They know instinctively when to stop. None of them have tickled me in years, anyways. With partners, some don’t seem to get it. No really, stop caressing me that way or I’ll want to crush your fingers (and never ever see you again). ICK! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-tickling-ok/618842.md?page=2)