# Is Trump/Putin a Witch? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 22, 2018, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386 "2018-07-22T20:01:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/1 "2018-07-22T20:01:36Z")
As everyone knows, many people in the USA are currently engaged in a witch hunt. Some people say that Donald Trump is the head Witch but I am unsure if the evidence is strong enough to secure a conviction in a kangaroo court of law. As we all know, a sitting president cannot be compelled to take any of the standard witchcraft tests while in office, presumably because being dunked in a river until dead may interfere with his presidential schedule. Now I’m not a fancy city lawyer so I’m not 100% sure on the legal definition of witchcraft in the USA, I believe at least one of the following conditions has to be fulfilled to secure a conviction. [ol] [li]Subject is witnessed performing hexes, charms, spells, glamours, black masses or curses[/li] [li]Subject consorts with the devil and/or minor demons, to include all dealings up to and including kinky butt stuff[/li] [li]Subject cackles wildly while stirring a bubbling cauldron in the vicinity of an enchanted broomstick[/li] [li]Subject is accused of witchcraft by one or more hysterical peasants.[/li][/ol] So, is there any evidence of any of these criteria being met, or any other criteria I failed to include? In conclusion: _Fuck off! All you motherfucking cunts!_ ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/2 "2018-07-22T20:05:00Z")
He does weigh more than a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/3 "2018-07-22T20:11:59Z")
Has he turned anyone into a newt? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/4 "2018-07-22T20:33:06Z")
Does he have a flying broom? Er…Broom-force 1. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/5 "2018-07-22T20:44:58Z")
No, you’ve got it backwards. It is the opposition [that](http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/potus-shield-prays-for-protection-over-trump-from-deep-state-evil-forces-and-curses-of-witches-and-warlocks/) [is](http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-taylor-literal-demons-are-manifesting-against-trump-as-he-works-to-arrest-the-deep-state-for-eating-kids/) [witches](http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-taylor-and-bill-deagle-declare-that-those-who-oppose-trump-are-not-human/). (This is only a sampling.) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/6 "2018-07-22T21:07:13Z")
> [@Delicious](#): > > As we all know, a sitting president cannot be compelled to take any of the standard witchcraft tests while in office, presumably because being dunked in a river until dead may interfere with his presidential schedule. I don’t think the SCOTUS has ruled on that. First of all, if he is a witch he won’t die by drowning, he’d need to be burned at the stake to actually kill him once it’s determined that he is a witch. Secondly, his schedule isn’t that full, we could dunk him in the lake at Mira Lago on the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/7 "2018-07-22T21:15:55Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > He does weigh more than a duck. > [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Has he turned anyone into a newt? > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Does he have a flying broom? Er…Broom-force 1. These are the important questions this thread is made to answer. > [@TriPolar](#): > > I don’t think the SCOTUS has ruled on that. First of all, if he is a witch he won’t die by drowning, he’d need to be burned at the stake to actually kill him once it’s determined that he is a witch. Secondly, his schedule isn’t that full, we could dunk him in the lake at Mira Lago on the weekend. I believe he needs to be impeached first but I’m sure **Bricker** will be able to clarify ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/8 "2018-07-22T21:45:43Z")
Never mind. I was thinking this was about the Putin _Bitch_ Hunt. I think there’s ample evidence of Trump being that. ---
**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/9 "2018-07-22T21:59:04Z")
Any day now he will admit that he meant to say it **isn’t** a witch hunt. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/10 "2018-07-22T22:06:35Z")
> [@Delicious](#): > > I believe he needs to be impeached first but I’m sure **Bricker** will be able to clarify I don’t believe impeachment is necessary unless he refuses to be dunked voluntarily. I suppose if he does refuse the only recourse is to first remove him from office via impeachment and then dunk him. If he does volunteer and does turn out to be a witch then that can be used as grounds for impeachment. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2018, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/11 "2018-07-22T22:08:05Z")
What is he wearing and who dressed him like that? ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/12 "2018-07-23T07:06:33Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Has he turned anyone into a newt? He turned me into a newt. (I got better.) ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/13 "2018-07-23T07:23:52Z")
And what do we do with witches? ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/14 "2018-07-23T08:17:25Z")
It’s off-topic, but I’m reminded of an entry from Ambrose Bierce’s famous dictionary: > [@](#): > > INADMISSIBLE, adj. > > Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with, and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves alone. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible because the person quoted was unsworn … > It cannot be proved that the battle of Blenheim ever was fought, that there was such as person as Julius Caesar, such an empire as Assyria. > > But as records of courts of justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges’ decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/15 "2018-07-23T09:02:43Z")
Betty? Abagail? Anything to add to this? (Actually, their help may be appreciated at these times.) ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/16 "2018-07-23T09:30:10Z")
_“I have the best spells. Spells so good they’re unbelievable!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/17 "2018-07-23T15:31:05Z")
“You can just grab them by the familiar. When you’re a witch they let you do that.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/18 "2018-07-23T18:24:57Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > And what do we do with witches? If he weighs the same as a duck he’s made of wood? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2018, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/19 "2018-07-23T20:33:49Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > If he weighs the same as a duck he’s made of wood? Build a bridge out of him. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2018, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386/20 "2018-07-24T05:10:58Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Build a bridge out of him. No, a wall! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-trump-putin-a-witch/818386.md?page=2)